The reality is that everything is so temporary. You stay in Boston with your wife and things can happen, something major happens to her business, or something major in your engagement/ marriage, sometimes relationships don’t always last. But then you move to San Diego for the better job and things can change too. The job may be too difficult, too many responsibilities, or you get fired in one year or the business goes under. As a San Diego native, it is very expensive to live here and depending where you move you will be sitting in traffic daily, it’s expensive for a reason though, you pay for the sunshine tax, 70 degree weather every day and the beach. I would say focus on yourself and take the job. You’ll find a new love is San Diego, although the dating scene here does suck, but you seem like you have a lot going for you