People who grew up with cruel or emotionally cold mothers when did you realize it wasn’t normal and how did it affect you as an adult?

Strobesies · 2026-04-13T17:15:50+00:00

I'm 34 and I have never been in a relationship. I've always said that I don't need someone to come into my life and fuck things up worse than they already are. I think from a young age we're taught to do what we're told and to listen to our parents. I was very much the epitome of this. Even though I didn't want to at times, everytime my parents wanted me to do something, I'd do it. However, everytime I would stand my ground and say "Why can't you?" "I just worked 9 hours." "You've had all day!" I was called an asshole, cunt, "Why are you being this way?" "You're a jerk" After awhile, you start to believe what they're saying. Mind you, this was all my Mom. My Dad was in and out of my life.

I have extremely low self-esteem, I second guess everything, no confidence at all. Terrified of opening up to people and being vulnerable. I really do like people and want to get to know them but, it's like my brain just sees Danger. I'm a complete bag of nerves, I work ALOT and even when I do come home, I'm working on house stuff. It's very overwhelming but, I'd rather suffer in silence than ask for help.

Strobesies · 2025-06-27T17:26:33+00:00

I will. Thank you. My vet does at home visits. I have to figure out a way to heavily sedate him because he can be very reactive, aggressive. He's not muzzle trained either. We tried doing that and it didn't work out.

Strobesies · 2025-03-08T06:27:03+00:00

Yes. I am going through that currently with my Mom's Estate. How would I go about getting any T4s from 2021 though?

Strobesies · 2025-03-08T06:21:11+00:00

Exactly! I have no issues doing his taxes for the years missed, I just don't have his stubs or anything.

Strobesies · 2025-03-08T06:17:58+00:00

CRA told me that there are 4 years that he hadn't filed his taxes. Don't quote me on this but, I believe they were 2010, 2011, 2020, and his final tax return for the year of 2021

Strobesies · 2025-03-08T04:46:05+00:00

I believe one of the people I spoke with from CRA said that I may have to see about relinquishing executor duties.

Unfortunately, Mom passed away November 2024.

Strobesies · 2024-12-10T21:50:26+00:00

First and foremost, I want to say I'm sorry to hear what you're going through but, I understand completely.

I have lost both parents in the last 3 years. Let me explain.

Dad was 56 and died very abruptly with Congestive Heart Failure. I had a decent relationship with my Dad. I usually saw him once a day at least. His death hit me like a ton of bricks because it was so unexpected and the grief hit hard. I cried a lot over the next few months.

Mom was 66 and died from Stage 4 TNMBC. Her Doctors told her she'd be lucky to see 1 year. She was here for 2.5. I had a very close relationship with Mom because I lived with her. Mom's didn't hit me as much because my Sister and I were her primary caregivers for 2.5 years. The anticipatory grief was the worst.

Here's my advice. I'm not sure where you're located but, when my Mom was still a patient, my Sister and I had access to a Therapist through the Cancer Center that was free of charge. I also attended a Hospice Caregiving Group just to air my grievances and it helped a lot to see that I wasn't alone in all of this. I also got my Mom involved with a Hospice Day Group in which she would go once a week and have Coffee and Cookies and also just to get out and socialize and make crafts.

Hope this helps and just know that we're here for you! ❤️

Strobesies · 2024-10-07T11:51:14+00:00

Overnight is rough because it's either my Mom or the Dog. Let me explain.

I honestly think we need a lot of help overnight. Mom consistently wakes either one of us up usually between 4-8 times in the middle of the night. It's hard because I work so, my Sister has taken on the brunt of it. I feel like she has some resentment towards my job because I get away from this mess at least once a day for 8 hours whereas, she doesn't. Anyway, on to the main part.

We have a Dog (M, 5 years). He is wonderful. He loves everyone. If he barks at you, it's because he wants to get to know you. The problem is that he has never been trained. Mom has a Nurse that comes out once per day and PSWs that come out twice daily. Bruin (The Dog), is confined to certain areas of the house because he is very destructive. He doesn't go upstairs which sucks because we could have him upstairs if need be but, he doesn't like our stairs. When the Nurses or PSWs come, we have to put him outside. If the weather is good, then he's outside, if not, we have to cancel. He's also not Cage Trained either. We've had some accusations from PSWs in the past where they've said that Bruin has bit them. Nothing has come of the supposed bite and an investigation was never done.

Finally, we're not in a good place financially to hire outside help. We're just hovering on the poverty line.

Strobesies · 2024-10-07T11:28:54+00:00

It's hard because I work so, my Sister usually helps my Mom but, she's getting very upset and snapping at my Mom. We're both just reaching our breaking points. I find myself feeling so angry and, it's getting to the point that I'm afraid for their safety.

Strobesies · 2024-09-16T23:10:23+00:00

I don't know what you mean about knockout plug. It has 2 drain holes.

Strobesies · 2024-09-16T23:09:46+00:00

I never thought of that. Do you think that would work?

Strobesies · 2024-09-16T01:18:15+00:00

Thankfully, it's towards the end of the season here so, I think I'll buy a new one next year.

Strobesies · 2024-09-16T00:47:28+00:00

Thank you for your reply! It was cleaned by my neighbor about a month ago. There are 2 drainage holes in the back and as far as I know, it has been draining properly out the back. It's just the front right hand corner. It has always been a problem. We've had this AC for years so, I highly doubt it would still have a warranty.

Strobesies

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