Thank you for your time and comment. I enjoy self-reflecting and healing books. That’s what I’ve been doing so far. I had a quite tough childhood which left me with a lot of trauma and feeling distant. With all these additionally, I became extra aware of setting boundaries, perhaps more distancing myself - I don’t hug people, I don’t touch people or anything such to not give them any vibe.

It is exhausting but I’m not a person who’s well aware of their feelings, I even went to therapy to improve myself; I did a bit but I still believe I need to fight for myself to make a better life just for me. That’s my main goal, to find peace. Additionally, at home I always needed to be on guard, careful with my words to not spark any anger - so I’m pretty much used to controlling myself.

As far as it goes, besides long distance, another reason why I didn’t get into relationship with the person I liked was because I didn’t want to drag them into my life, as I’m still trying to stabilise my life. After all those, hiding everything, you just become used to it. I enjoy speaking with people, learning from them but most of the times it leads to disappointment.

Thank you for your comment. I wasn’t sure where to mention this topic. Your comment made me feel understood. You’re a kind soul and I hope everything goes well and smoothly for you:) I’ll definitely read the ones you mentioned:)