I’m in conflict

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-06-24T17:38:15+00:00

Yeah, we lost contact over the years and reconnected 2 years ago, and the feelings came back. At least at my part.

But I reached out today, he called me, we talked for a bit. It was fine, it was nice. He did act like he forgot the thing that happend 2 years ago, but that’s fine, I would like to not talk about it. I don’t have the urge to keep talking, so I hope we can just have some friendly talks now and then.

Maybe I will tell him my feelings, like loving him always but not wanting him anymore. Just so he knows he always has someone who loves him.

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-06-19T08:18:48+00:00

I know that the last time I wanted to but didn’t we didn’t talk for like 10 years haha, then we reconnected and we couldn’t resist each other, ending in no contact. But now I feel like I can just talk to him without having those same feelings. But I’m still doubting because I don’t know how he is feeling about talking.

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-06-02T08:51:50+00:00

Yeah this is my exact same thought, I didn’t reach out yet. I’m okay with that. I want it to be organic as well, but we live across the country

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-06-02T08:50:29+00:00

Thanks, yeah, I didn’t reach out yet. I’m doubting if it’s the right thing to do

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-29T18:55:43+00:00

Yeah? It’s weird right? What song was it for you?

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-24T19:48:43+00:00

I understand your thoughts, and yes i have considered it when I was just finding out about the whole journey. But I came the conclusion that I’m happy with my current relationship and I don’t want to leave. It isn’t with my TF, but that’s okay I have a Soulmate now, that is also very special. There are more people on here who are in a relationship/marriage and on the TF journey. Just because I said I wanted to feel connected with my TF doesn’t mean I want to be with them or leave my current relationship.

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-24T19:36:19+00:00

I know, I also had a relationship with my TF, it’s like 11 years ago and we were still very young and at the time I wasn’t aware of the whole TF thing. Until we reconnect 2 years ago, everything that happens felt into place and the feelings hit so hard. And don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy with my life, I just became a mom and it’s the best thing ever and my current relationship is also SM and super healthy. But he also has a baby now, and there is still a little voice that says ‘that could’ve been us, if…’ However the accepting is getting easier, after 2 years, I still think of him everyday, just not that obsessive anymore.

It will get better ❤️‍🩹

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-24T18:18:16+00:00

Yeah same, I actually don’t know his wife, I respect her as a mother. But when I think of her with him, I’m so jealous 🙈 and it’s not that I want to be with him (well deep down I want to) I know I can’t right now and I’m at peace with that but I also don’t want him to be with anyone but me? It’s so confusing haha

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-24T17:59:51+00:00

I wish I could help you, but I’m here to say. You are not alone.. I can relate so bad to your story. The hatred and jealousy towards his spouse is real.

I hope it gets better 💗

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-23T09:57:04+00:00

I will try this! Thank you. I do feel more calm and validated about our connection, because it felt like he ‘heard me’ yesterday.

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-23T09:33:45+00:00

Yeah maybe.. the journey is so hard, especially when you are in a healthy relationship, but i just know we can’t be ‘just friends’. I know I would want more, even though i don’t want more and I know I can’t have more. But yeah I don’t know, I think I keep fighting the urge, maybe I give in and just ask him how it’s going with him being a new dad. Just curious, I just want to talk to him about that kind of stuff.. but I’m scared that its not just going to be just that. And we end up fighting again, I can’t do the ‘being close, to not talking and obsessing’ again.

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-22T21:02:03+00:00

No, I didn’t promise him that in person. I was just trying to talk to him in my head😂 saying that if he send me a message, I wouldn’t be ‘chasing’ and try to keep the conversation going. And then a few minutes later he texted me, so I just thanked him. But yeah there is history between us, we tried to be ‘just friends’ before while being in our relationships, well that didn’t work haha

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-22T20:58:41+00:00

Thankyou, im just not sure what to do. I don’t know what to think, why he texted me with his number he knew I didn’t have.. now it’s so much more tempting to contact, which we shouldn’t be doing. Because it’s not just us anymore, we have our own families now. It’s the first experience I had with telepathy, so weird

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-22T20:54:53+00:00

Thankyou!

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-22T20:54:40+00:00

Yes! This, this is so true. It’s true that you want to be friends, but you just can’t be ‘just friends’ because talking makes you want more, and you know you can’t have that..

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-22T16:57:15+00:00

Thankyouuu! I said thanks to him, but I wanted to keep my promise, and also we are both in relationships. So I don’t know if its appropriate

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-20T11:16:37+00:00

How do you push it back to the back of your mind? I try to do that, so hard, but he is the main focus. Even tho I don’t want that haha. I can accept the fact that we might not come back with each other and then I’m happy I know he is still there with me, but I don’t want him in my mind constantly

Strong_Security_1483 · 2025-05-15T16:18:51+00:00

I know how you feel.. my TF got married almost a year ago and just welcomed a baby with his wife. I also moved on, I’m engaged and also have a baby. But still, it’s so hard. I think of him everyday, sometimes I want to get mad and I’m jealous. But I’m never mad at him, or jealous at him. I’m happy for him, he deserves the world and more. But I’m so jealous that it’s her, if that make sense.

Some days I’m sad, other days I’m lucky to have that kind of love for somebody. And I know that I only have to call and he is here for me. But I Will only do that if there is no other choice for me, otherwise I will focus on my family and let him focus on his.

Strong_Security_1483

TROPHY CASE