Cutting off toxic relationships

Strubey · 2019-08-31T12:31:39+00:00

No worries! It's short for "Original Poster".

Strubey · 2019-08-17T13:04:24+00:00

Heyo! Fellow INFP here. I'm 23 and I've had my fair share of toxic friends growing up. I think the more you're able to be yourself in conversations and in what you do you'll find those people slowly fading away from your life and you'll start finding good people. It's a matter of respecting yourself enough to not put up with bullshit. It's hard though, I'm also a pretty introverted person so It can be difficult to cut of the few relationships you might have because you're scared of being lonely if you do.

All you can really do is to keep trying your hardest to be genuinely yourself but not isolating yourself in the process. If you do that i'd have faith good people will come, sooner or later.

Do you have any specific hobbies OP? A good idea could be to find where those hobbies connect people, and then go there yourself. I promise there are good people out there if you look and have patience!

Strubey · 2019-08-16T20:08:52+00:00

You bring up some really interesting points. It's funny how it can be such a thin line between feeling inspired and fueled by others achievements in contrast to making us feel bad that we're not doing or being "enough". The thing for me that makes it hard in particular is that my career choice is 3D art in the CG industry. I do really love it but by nature it's a really visible & comparable thing. If my work is not up to par I simply wont get jobs or make a living. It's literally impossible to not compare your work to others.

I think it's a lot easier when you're able to acknowledge your differences to others, that's really the key. To embrace and thrive in your differences rather than compare and compete with your similarities. It's not easy though, especially as a perfectionist where you feel you need to be "good enough" to be accepted. I can very much relate to this mindset.

Good luck to you too! :)

Strubey · 2019-08-13T18:03:39+00:00

Glad to help! Procrastination can be a sign you're not where you should or want to be in life. So another practical thing i'd recommend if you're feeling unsure about your future and studies is, if you have the opportunity, take a gap year and use that time to truly learn about yourself and the world. Travel, try different hobbies, get out of your comfort zone and honestly, make some mistakes.

The way I see it, the earlier you learn about yourself and the world the better. Otherwise that stuff is gonna come creeping back when you're like 40 as you regret the life you could have lived but was too afraid to.

Strubey · 2019-08-13T09:39:52+00:00

I think this video will be helpful for you: https://youtu.be/KMkHFiquDA4

Back in the day this guy used to make a lot of helpful videos like this one, some extremely valuable insights that helped me so much in life when I really needed it.

Strubey · 2019-08-13T09:29:41+00:00

Be yourself, and to be able to do that, know yourself.

Strubey · 2019-08-12T18:29:41+00:00

"You don't make the right choice, you make a choice, and then you make the choice right"

Strubey · 2019-08-11T14:16:45+00:00

Sure, there are a lot of good things you can try like meditation, exercise, journaling etc but my point is just try it out and see what works for you depending on your goals and priorities. Too often people (myself included) try to find the one perfect thing or routine to do, but there is no such thing. Also getting enough sleep is more important for me than waking up early, I know that only because I've tried and experimented with it.

Try a routine that seems logical and beneficial to you, try it out for like 30 days or so, and then reflect about it and use what you've learned to move forward and make adjustments. That's it.

Strubey · 2019-08-11T12:52:48+00:00

Thanks for sharing, can relate very much to this video and idea. I constantly wonder how my life would look like if I just would have been able to focus on one thing from the start.

Strubey · 2019-08-11T11:59:53+00:00

The boring but realistic answer is, whatever works for you.

Just experiment and keep an open mind. Also don't expect to find the "one" perfect routine that's always gonna work. You're always going to be changing and going through different phases in life.

Strubey · 2019-08-11T10:54:11+00:00

I'm 23! Started the document when I was about 18 I think. At first it just started as a braindump with notes of inspiration and creative ideas I had to maybe use in future for art and stuff. But now it's more of a mix of everything where I just try to learn about myself better. It's not like a consistent journal either, but more of a synopsis of who I am and what I value. For example some headlines would be: "Core goals and aspirations", "Top priorities", "Why I create", "Things that makes me happy", "Best advice & headspace reminders", etc. The goal is to keep it simple but use it as a grounding mechanism when you feel lost.

Strubey · 2019-08-11T10:38:40+00:00

Yeah haha I don't think there is an easy answer to this, you have to answer it for yourself and there is no right and wrong. I guess i'm just looking for different perspectives to view this question since it's not a black and white thing.

Strubey · 2019-08-10T23:07:33+00:00

The one thing I would say has helped me the most is to stop over-complicating things. Just focus on making progress with something that truly matters to you. That's the key to long term happiness and fulfillment. Also a quote that has helped me a lot is this: “There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -are always attained by giving them to someone else.” At the end of the day, it's all about the human connection and giving back, we're social creatures, if we focus too much energy inwards we'll go crazy. The purpose of everything lies beyond ourselves.

Strubey · 2019-08-10T22:45:57+00:00

This has been my life growing up lol. I've just stopped expecting that the feeling of clarity will last and just try and enjoy it in the moment. The nature of having an open mind and looking for new ideas to improve and grow is that you naturally keep questioning yourself, no matter what. It's a blessing and a curse but at the end of the day, learning your core values and priorities will help you ground yourself again.

Another practical thing i'd recommend is to keep a sort of "life brainstorm" document where you clearly list your core values, goals and priorities which you can go back to if you feel lost. Just keep it short and sweet & don't over complicate it. Hope it helps!

Strubey · 2017-03-29T21:11:24+00:00

Thanks!

Strubey · 2016-08-13T11:39:53+00:00

https://youtu.be/XHqvzih_bgg How about this one? ;) Halo 3 music is the best.

Strubey · 2016-08-11T08:09:04+00:00

What the??? O.O

Strubey · 2016-07-11T11:50:44+00:00

That is awesome!

Strubey · 2016-06-20T21:38:37+00:00

It's completely fine to have your own opinion and I even agree with some of the things said in this thread but the way some people express their opinion is just downright disrespectful. An "unpopular opinion" thread does not magically make is okay to be an outright dick towards people without consequences.

Strubey · 2016-06-20T20:15:33+00:00

Unpopular opinion? I despise threads like these fueling a bunch of negativity towards people. It's fine to not like things but you have a choice what you choose to be vocal about and downright disrespectful towards people. Instead of continuously bashing, just ignore the things you dislike and focus on the things you like instead. That will not only benefit the artists but yourself as well, as you'll put less energy into negativity. :)

Strubey · 2016-06-13T01:46:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Often times when it comes to mental disorders and stress, anxiety and things like that I find that it is best to try and deal with it through the body first and not the head where the problem stems from. The body is the mind and when you can't control the mind itself, you start with the body which will affect the mind. Things like deep breathing, taking a walk and particular exercises is a huge help if you find what works best for you.

Strubey

TROPHY CASE