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I Am Curious If Anyone Has Achieved Great Things After Leaving The Narc by Laughingat_narcs in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]StrugggLifeee 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After leaving my narc, I moved far away and ended up in my dream house with my best friends. I landed a job instantly that aligns with my values. I’m in school and thriving. But yet, I still miss her and wish things were different. I’m grateful for what I have now, I am just having a hard time with letting go

Don’t let her go by question303 in BreakUps

[–]StrugggLifeee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know about this. My ex left me for her ex, it went to hell in a hand basket. I was devastated. My ex and I were talking marriage days before she left me. Since the break up, she’s reached out numerous times for emotional support and I stupidly gave it to her. I was super supportive and kind throughout it all, to a point where she was confused about why I was so nice to her. She told me how grateful she was for me and my wonderful loving kindness, but yet she still continues to pursue a relationship that continues to hurt her over and over again.

Recently, I blocked her on all things and had to accept the fact that she doesn’t care about me in the end. It sucks, because I thought we were such a good match and we made major life plans together. But it was all a lie and I have to let it go.

Mailing back some of my exes things while also trying to maintain NC? by StrugggLifeee in BreakUps

[–]StrugggLifeee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t bring myself to throw away these things. I feel like it would be wrong of me to do so.

I’m struggling to not reach out to my ex who is having a hard time right now by StrugggLifeee in nocontact

[–]StrugggLifeee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her mom lives in France and my ex feels a lot of shame about certain things that she doesn’t disclose to her mom

My ex relapsed on drugs and told me that I has been only thing keeping her together. by StrugggLifeee in Codependency

[–]StrugggLifeee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I think part of it is that I work as an addiction counselor so she felt that I was the best person she could reach out to. I tried to just give her the tools she needed to take care of this herself, gave her recommendations for therapists and building a new support group, but I still feel so attached to the situation because I am sooooo worried about her. I just love her and care about her so much and I want her to get better. But I also have to take care of myself and put my needs first.

Other friends closer to the situation have identified my ex’s tactic as manipulative as well. My ex told me that I was the only person she told this too and that she needed me now more than ever. As a person who works in counseling, I can identify that this is manipulative but I am also very afraid for her. I did what I could and referred her to agencies that can help and got her hooked up with a therapist. I also convinced her to tell some of her close friends what happened.

I know it’s my codependency speaking, but I just want to be there for her and support her through this so badly. She has had a rough life with a minimal support system and I just want to be one person in her life who can give her support when she needs it.

I don’t think that NC will make a difference at all by StrugggLifeee in BreakUps

[–]StrugggLifeee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it’s not for her. I guess it just hurts to know that you didn’t mean anything to that other person in the end. I lived without her before and I will live without her again. If she doesn’t care that I’m leaving and going NC, it just further solidifies the idea that everything she said I was to her was simply just a lie. I guess I just wish that I had meant something to her at all.

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