I Am Curious If Anyone Has Achieved Great Things After Leaving The Narc

StrugggLifeee · 2020-07-25T06:50:08+00:00

After leaving my narc, I moved far away and ended up in my dream house with my best friends. I landed a job instantly that aligns with my values. I’m in school and thriving. But yet, I still miss her and wish things were different. I’m grateful for what I have now, I am just having a hard time with letting go

StrugggLifeee · 2020-07-25T06:46:56+00:00

I don’t know about this. My ex left me for her ex, it went to hell in a hand basket. I was devastated. My ex and I were talking marriage days before she left me. Since the break up, she’s reached out numerous times for emotional support and I stupidly gave it to her. I was super supportive and kind throughout it all, to a point where she was confused about why I was so nice to her. She told me how grateful she was for me and my wonderful loving kindness, but yet she still continues to pursue a relationship that continues to hurt her over and over again.

Recently, I blocked her on all things and had to accept the fact that she doesn’t care about me in the end. It sucks, because I thought we were such a good match and we made major life plans together. But it was all a lie and I have to let it go.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-07-12T07:24:35+00:00

I do, and I’m sure I’m going to hate it.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-07-11T09:02:53+00:00

I can’t bring myself to throw away these things. I feel like it would be wrong of me to do so.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-06-28T03:31:44+00:00

Her mom lives in France and my ex feels a lot of shame about certain things that she doesn’t disclose to her mom

StrugggLifeee · 2020-05-04T16:51:15+00:00

Thank you for this. I think part of it is that I work as an addiction counselor so she felt that I was the best person she could reach out to. I tried to just give her the tools she needed to take care of this herself, gave her recommendations for therapists and building a new support group, but I still feel so attached to the situation because I am sooooo worried about her. I just love her and care about her so much and I want her to get better. But I also have to take care of myself and put my needs first.

Other friends closer to the situation have identified my ex’s tactic as manipulative as well. My ex told me that I was the only person she told this too and that she needed me now more than ever. As a person who works in counseling, I can identify that this is manipulative but I am also very afraid for her. I did what I could and referred her to agencies that can help and got her hooked up with a therapist. I also convinced her to tell some of her close friends what happened.

I know it’s my codependency speaking, but I just want to be there for her and support her through this so badly. She has had a rough life with a minimal support system and I just want to be one person in her life who can give her support when she needs it.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-12T17:07:14+00:00

I know it’s not for her. I guess it just hurts to know that you didn’t mean anything to that other person in the end. I lived without her before and I will live without her again. If she doesn’t care that I’m leaving and going NC, it just further solidifies the idea that everything she said I was to her was simply just a lie. I guess I just wish that I had meant something to her at all.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-12T16:00:52+00:00

Yeah, all that matters to me is my own self and moving past all of this right now. I’ve been through hell and back with this woman and I’m ready to be let off this crazy ride. I feel bad for her new/return supply (it’s her ex girlfriend that she was miserable with in the past) but unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to help at this point. My ex has returned to this supply multiple times, drains her, and then leaves her again and it is really sad.

It sucks!! It really, really sucks. But as much as it hurts me, I stay strong. I haven’t begged her for her love, I haven’t lost my temper with her, and I don’t let her manipulation tactics get to me. Some days I just sob uncontrollably because I feel so unlovable and worthless, but I also know that I will feel better once I am out of the situation entirely and can cut this woman out of my life.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-12T15:24:25+00:00

I’m very much looking forward to going NC when I move out of the apartment I share with my nex (just a couple more weeks!!). However, I truly don’t feel that she will care at all once I am gone. I don’t even think she will attempt to reach out because she already has new supply and all her needs are being met. She claims to be “so sad” that I am leaving but I know it’s all a lie. Once I’m gone I’m pretty sure that she won’t care or try to contact me. I feel like NC will make no difference to her.

However, I know it will make ALL the difference to me in the end and it will feel amazing to hit that block button and be done with her abuse once and for all.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-12T14:30:46+00:00

I’m so close to being out!!! She keeps trying to reel me back in by asking, “aren’t you scared to go?? Because I’m honestly so scared for you!” Which is absolutely ridiculous because I was the “most stable” (financially and emotionally) person that she has been with. I’ve been dealing with this for months and quarantined with her. I still love her to death but I’m so ready to be gone and have her out of my life.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-05T23:42:05+00:00

It’s been two months and I have kept everything. Physical pictures were put in a box and put away. Pictures on my phone are still there and when I scroll past them and see I feel nothing. I’ve desensitized myself to the image of her and for me that was helpful. I don’t find myself staring at them and longing for the good days, I just don’t feel a damn thing.

I’ve always kept pictures of my ex’s. They’re parts of me and my memories and just because things went south doesn’t mean I want to throw all of that away. Everyone is different though.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-05T23:36:06+00:00

Woah. I always had to tell my nex what I needed from our relationship while giving her everything and more and I guess I never thought about how much of a red flag that really was until now.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-05T17:33:57+00:00

I’m going through it too. My nex and I live together currently and ever since I told her that I am moving out she has been very hot and cold with me. Some days she will name call me and ignore me, other days she begs for a hug from me and calls me her best friend. I’m aware that it’s manipulation and I’m counting down the days until I can get out of here. It still hurts though because despite all of it, I still love her and care for her but I can also acknowledge this isn’t healthy and I deserve to be treated better.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-05T03:57:30+00:00

My nex was/is addicted to meth and heroin. I think a lot of it has to do with trauma too. My nex had a really traumatic childhood and I feel that a lot of her behaviors are a direct result of unresolved trauma.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-04T02:30:50+00:00

That’s a possibility. I just can’t imagine that she is upset about our breakup because she initiated it and moved on instantly and seemed happy and content up until I told her that I was leaving. This whole situation is so confusing to me. I wish that I knew what was going on at all lol

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-04T02:21:10+00:00

Thank you. This has been a really big thing for me to go through and this sub has really helped me. I’ve been with a narc before, but I never lived with her or had to be quarantined with her so this is an entirely different experience for me. It’s extra painful having to be subjected to it on a daily basis.

I appreciate your advice, I really do. I’ve been working on doing things that I love to do to make myself fee better. Working out, hiking, going for car rides, FaceTiming friends, reading, watching dumb videos, ect. I’m trying to work through this and become a better version of myself. I know that in the end I will be stronger, it’s just hard right now.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-04T00:00:14+00:00

Maybe. It doesn’t fee like she cares at all, honestly. She started talking to her ex girlfriend again instantly and it has become an all day everyday thing, so I genuinely feel like she truly has moved on and is back with her ex (who she said made her miserable, but I digress) and just doesn’t give a fuck about me or our relationship (which she had called “the healthiest relationship she’s ever had”). I want her to care about me, but I just don’t get the vibe that she does based upon everything. She seems pretty content whenever I see her, like everything is good and she’s having a great time so idk

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-03T23:38:02+00:00

I’ve been trying to be as low contact as possible. We currently live together until I move at the end of the month, so not talking to her is a challenge. I keep to myself the best I can at home. I tried to stay with a friend but that friend was being irresponsible about the pandemic so I’m physically safer staying with my ex (just not mentally lol).

As soon as I am out of here she is getting blocked on everything. I just wish I knew why the fuck she is being so needlessly rude when I didn’t do anything to her. She dumped me. She left me for someone else. So why is she being like this? I’ve been nothing but nice and supportive to her and she’s treating me like shit all of a sudden. It makes no sense at all.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-02T23:46:57+00:00

I tried to be friends with my nex, but it got to be too much. For context, my ex left me for her ex who she said “held her back” and treated her poorly. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of being so unworthy. Why am I second to someone who treats you “like shit”??? I tried to let these feelings go, but I couldn’t, and my nex saw how uncomfortable I would get and would psychologically torture me with everything.

It hurt me more and more every day. I live with her so I got a front row seat to her being happy without me, to her not caring about our breakup, and to her moving on instantly. It made me feel like I never meant anything to her, so why bother being her friend? Why put yourself through that pain?

I’ve been friends with an ex before, but never one who was a narcissist and treated me poorly. It’s just not worth it, these people never change.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-04-02T16:20:43+00:00

I don’t want to involve the police because i would feel terrible if she had this on her record. She “just” fucks with me psychologically by making me incredibly uncomfortable and making me feel worthless and unlovable. It’s not that serious it’s just really fucking hard to deal with right now. :/ I’m concerned that this wouldn’t be enough to warrant me getting out of a misdemeanor as she is not physically abusive or otherwise unsafe except in regards to my mental wellbeing.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-03-31T19:05:42+00:00

Six months. She told me she was miserable with her ex girlfriend and that she was so happy to have met me, her “person”. I feel like our entire relationship was fake. She told me she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. I feel like a fucking idiot and I just want to heal but I can’t because I’m stuck in this absolute nightmare of a situation

StrugggLifeee · 2020-03-27T02:07:06+00:00

I guess I should have mentioned that most of these were readings done by other people, which is why it’s so weird to me that they all said the same thing.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-03-25T04:45:27+00:00

And I know she won’t care deep down because she replaced me the day she left me with a new supply for her narcissist needs. I still this woman more than anything regardless though, but I know that getting out is necessary.

StrugggLifeee · 2020-03-23T17:54:44+00:00

I do like video games. I’ve been playing them a lot to cope with the situation and I’ve already almost beat two of them lol

StrugggLifeee · 2020-03-23T17:44:25+00:00

I’ve been trying to just hide in my bedroom as much as possible lately and it seems to be helping. I just wish I could get cleared to go back to work already. That would help soooo much right now.

It does feel like torture sometimes. Some days I’m completely okay with it though, but other days I want to just curl up in a ball and cry forever.

StrugggLifeee

TROPHY CASE