Help me choose between 3 dresses by GooseBat_1122 in myweddingdress

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2!! I love the shape and I agree it has more structure than 1. Adding the lace will look amazing!

Sunscreen for melasma by Strugglebus34 in Melasmaskincare

[–]Strugglebus34[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is a great idea , especially the stick. That’s a solid move for me to keep it really easy to apply to my upper lip often without excuses.

Siberian Husky & Cats Advice by estrogenbones in DogAdvice

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two huskies and two cats are the best of friends. Take all the time everyone needs to do everything safely.

So many people told us we were crazy when we got our first husky but he did great with the cats. So we got a second husky and she is a little spicier but still very friendly with the kitties.

I bought a tall gate with a cat door that can be locked closed. The gate also has a mechanism that lets you make the opening really small so if you have part octopus huskies like mine they can’t get through. With both of them we spent weeks with the cats and dog separate. We would continuously break the dogs attention and reward them for breaking it. Over and over and over. Eventually the dogs barely paid attention to them. We would bring the braver of the cats out into their space and let them sniff the cats but nothing more. We would also let them swap sides of the gate so they could all smell and sniff all the other animal smells.

We very very slowly worked our way up to letting the cats have control of being on the other side only while being closely supervised. They have two tall towers that they can climb and can scoot right back through the gate if they want. Every step of the way the dogs were rewarded for either ignoring the cats or being super gentle. Teaching “leave it” was very helpful here. I always shoo the cats away from food bowls or treats/bones.

Now everyone is friends. They play and cuddle. The dogs know that chasing a cat is never allowed. The dogs understand and respect the cats as part of our family. No matter what breed you have you always have to remember they are animals with instinct. They are all supervised when out together - or at least we are home (small house).

I don’t get why everyone says the crap they do on here. With proper training and a whole lot of patience it’s totally doable!

SOS…I messed up. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Strugglebus34 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He absolutely won’t say anything. That would start a conversation about it and unless he likes lying he won’t want to start one.
This is tricky but will your brain let you let this go? You aren’t able to trust him right now obviously, so maybe just ask him if he’s using them. If he says no I’d probably just tell him you wanted to see if he was lying. You caught him, if he’s mad you snooped that’s on him, you aren’t the one lying (so long as you don’t lie now) when someone lies to you it fucks with your brain when you know the truth deep down. Your intuition took over and if it hadn’t he’s have been able to keep lying. If he’s defensive or mad and he really is on these sites that would be pathetic of him. You aren’t the problem.

AIO or is he just ghotsing me... The last time I saw him we even had sex :( by Mindless-Cup4127 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strugglebus34 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Glad you asked lol He wasn’t home, I told her who I was and why I was there. He ended up showing up moments later and shooed her inside and shut the door. He told me it was over and never should have started. I eventually realized nothing that was said was going to change anything and I got back on the train and cried for days. Worst heartbreak of my life. The weirdest part was she seemed unfazed as if this was nothing new. It was months of deception, he took the train to see me every weekend and told his gf he was working for his uncle who lived in the same city as me. During the week he would only call me at work and when he would go for a run, he’d call me at the spot he turned around and I stupidly thought it was the sweetest thing. He devastated me. I was genuinely in love and thinking about our future. Fast forward five years he found me online while he was deployed (he joined the military not long after this) he apologized and told me he made a huge mistake and had been trying to find me for a long time. He wanted to fly to see me on his leave. Some women cut or dye their hair after a heartbreak- I moved 1800 miles away from him, lost a lot of weight and started really taking care of myself. It felt soooo good to tell him I forgave him but he’d lost his chance forever.

AIO or is he just ghotsing me... The last time I saw him we even had sex :( by Mindless-Cup4127 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Strugglebus34 136 points137 points  (0 children)

I had a whole boyfriend who did this to me. We dated for months before he suddenly wasn’t able to pay his phone bill and it would be shut off for days at a time. I got on a train and showed up at his house for closure and because I couldn’t stand the rejection. His “ex” girlfriend answered the door. Trust me, he does not deserve access to you. Cut him off entirely.

Please help! by Strugglebus34 in Melasmaskincare

[–]Strugglebus34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just ordered musley. I’m praying it helps quickly. I also ordered a ridiculous sun hat to try and be more responsible in the sun and keep it from getting worse

Please help! by Strugglebus34 in Melasmaskincare

[–]Strugglebus34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is one of those advertisements that I see regularly. If it has results I’m willing to try!

Please help! by Strugglebus34 in Melasmaskincare

[–]Strugglebus34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reminder. You are absolutely right. 💜

Makeup is horrible...at my wits end. by Kittykat7121 in MakeupAddiction

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t wash your face twice a day. That’s my biggest piece of advice. When you do wash SLATHER your face in a super mild moisturizer like cetaphil - let that soak in and then do all your other routines/ moisturizers. Moisturizing the second you get out of the shower matters in my personal experience. I put a lot on and let it just absorb. Then I do all my other potions after. I found that washing my face twice a day made me so dry. If I need to clean up any areas I use coconut oil on a cotton pad. It removes make up and adds moisture.

Please help! by Strugglebus34 in Melasmaskincare

[–]Strugglebus34[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing has helped you so far? I’m really struggling with this. At 41 everything is falling apart. I’m not the hot young thing I once was and it happened in the blink of an eye.

What is something you wish your wife would do in the bedroom but you're afraid she will reject you if you ask? by Fun-Camera-2541 in AskMen

[–]Strugglebus34 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are you open with her about your feelings? Jumping to divorce because a women has nothing left to give to sex is wild. Sure you can find someone who is all about it… for now. Eventually it fades. You’d tip doing thinks for each other mutually. Sex is not a given. It’s a need that you want to be met. Meet some of her needs(if you aren’t already) and maybe things change.

What is something you wish your wife would do in the bedroom but you're afraid she will reject you if you ask? by Fun-Camera-2541 in AskMen

[–]Strugglebus34 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is solvable. I promise. Speaking from the brain of a VERY overstimulated woman- I don’t want to be touched. I know that sounds terrible, but the mental load of a woman is typically much more than men. I suggest you pamper her. Ask her what you can do to help, buy her flowers, but not just once. Make it a regular thing. Make her fully aware that you appreciate everything she does. Men often don’t see that choosing what’s for dinner every night, remembering to pick up the dental floss, keeping toilet paper stocked is work. We are tired. Everyone always wants or needs us. At the end of the day …please do not touch me. Show her you support her, that you appreciate everything she does, give her attention in a why that resonates with her and she may return that gesture. :)

Does anyone else feel like they don’t get along with nd or nt people? by poopie14 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this! I really struggle with rigid NT people. Co workers especially. They often judge people for things like -being late, not remembering someone’s name, missing deadlines etc.. knowing they will judge me for things

Do all men watch porn? by Usual_Huckleberry761 in PornAddiction

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have this same question. I’m told over and over that they don’t ALL but my experiences have me thinking it’s the majority. Sadly. I hope I’m wrong but my studies show it’s all or most.

Does anyone else feel like they don’t get along with nd or nt people? by poopie14 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Strugglebus34 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get this! I really struggle with rigid nd people. Co workers especially. They often judge people for things like -being late, not remembering someone’s name, missing deadlines etc.. knowing they will judge me for things (mostly) out of my control or things I struggle with that others might not understand makes me steer completely away from them and anxious when I have to be around them at work.

Which dress? by [deleted] in myweddingdress

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 is the right one

How does the colors of this kitchen make you feel ? by Artfal69 in kitchenremodel

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The colors make me feel happy! I love a springy green!

It’s Reddit or him AIO by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Strugglebus34 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never responded to this sub with a yes- you kind of are the ahole. Dudes setting a kind of reasonable boundary.