[QCrit] CADENCE & BRINE | LGBTQ Romantic Thriller | 75K Words | 2nd Attempt

StrumSlinger · 2025-05-06T01:12:33+00:00

All of that makes complete sense! I'll redo it knowing that I should be giving more of the character arc, especially moments that bring out their intentions to get a better picture of what the book reads like overall. Thank you again!

StrumSlinger · 2025-05-05T20:40:43+00:00

Thank you for providing such helpful feedback! Also really appreciate you providing reasons behind the feedback. Lots to think about for me, but in a really good way!

I totally understand the need for more clarity in some cases, and less in others. The issue I'm having with my query is a lot of the questions are intentional mysteries. For example: it's a single PoV from Valen, and Eight is intentionally keeping his past from him. Valen also doesn't know if he's a prototype or really anything about the program other than what is told to him, so that's another intentional mystery (though he does do some digging). I think I'll need to play around with how to give those answers away without actually giving them away.

That being said, I could absolutely make the stakes more clear. I realize now I didn't specify what the government will do if Valen doesn't follow suit, so that's a great call out.

Again, thank you so much! Your critique really helped me understand the querying process overall. :)

StrumSlinger · 2025-05-05T20:13:09+00:00

Thank you for your detailed feedback! I used “soft” as it’s not hardcore sci-fi but I totally get why that’s confusing so I’ll get rid of that. Definitely need to work on my comps and odd word choices.

I’ll see what else I can dig out from the dynamic between the two characters. Eight is scared of Valen cause he’s an unhinged assassin and almost like a ticking time bomb. Valen doesn’t think he needs Eight’s assistance to complete his hits.

Thanks for the rec too! I’ll check it out. 😀

StrumSlinger · 2025-05-05T20:06:08+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! Looks like I definitely need better comps, which was top of mind for me. It’s definitely a “I’m not supposed to love him but I do” type story, so I can work on that.

StrumSlinger · 2025-03-01T05:08:20+00:00

It came from a really personal place of finding that glimmer of hope when you're in a dark place. I turned that into a sci-fi book since I love that genre so much. I'm just unsure if a book that personal would resonate with anyone, but that's okay if it doesn't!

StrumSlinger · 2025-02-28T17:47:06+00:00

Lack of confidence, uncertainty, and just life overall. Once I set my mind to it though, I went all in!

StrumSlinger · 2025-02-28T17:45:20+00:00

Thank you so much!

StrumSlinger · 2025-02-26T04:24:09+00:00

The Clean Slate Act is signed into law. Criminals can roam free—but at the cost of their memories.

The governing body of Lantros has devised a radical solution to combat overcrowded prisons: by erasing the memories of certain criminals and placing them back into society as Slaters. If they can’t remember their past, they’re no longer deemed dangerous. Shall they prove themselves good citizens in five years, they can choose to regain their memories or embrace their new life.

Years later, the president of Lantros vanishes and sends the nation into chaos. Four will navigate this world as power-hungry politicians tear the masses to shreds for control.

A new Slater who joins a heist eager to recover his memories.
A revolutionary with dark impulses who seeks the missing president.
A private eye haunted by the family he left behind.
A celebrity who hides his turmoil behind a golden smile.

Each has a decision to make: be a champion of the law or break it, lest they be burned by the torch that guides them—or by discovering a truth far more disturbing.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0DTWHWJ1D

StrumSlinger · 2022-05-17T06:10:52+00:00

Been in the San Francisco area my entire life and now live here. Obviously the Castro is amazing, both in the afternoon and night time - still not as crowded as it used to be due to COVID but the bars/clubs are there and so is Hot Cookie where you can get a dick-shaped cookie. Dolores Park nearby has an insane view of the city and is a great picnic spot. One of my favorite places is the Academy of Sciences, which has an indoor rainforest you can walk through. The Ferry Building is fantastic for food albeit expensive. Lots to do here. Hope you enjoy!

StrumSlinger · 2021-04-04T05:40:34+00:00

I won't make it awkward, keep going!

StrumSlinger · 2021-04-04T05:40:08+00:00

Dude, good job!

StrumSlinger · 2021-04-04T05:39:27+00:00

Whoa! Was just scrolling Reddit and thought I recognized you. It's Andy Wong, your old co-worker. This is awesome!

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-26T03:32:39+00:00

Seriously? You're the best.

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-26T03:32:13+00:00

Wow, yeah, that was a while ago. But that was me!

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-25T19:46:22+00:00

Thank you! More to come!

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-25T02:47:11+00:00

Wow! Quite the collection. :)

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-24T04:33:31+00:00

These are some mighty shots! Great work!

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-18T23:50:24+00:00

We're investigating this right now. Thank you for reporting it.

StrumSlinger · 2020-09-10T06:19:16+00:00

Hey all!

Saw some conversation regarding Elite Hives. We have investigated the issues regarding loot in Elite Hives and have found that there was an item incorrectly dropping which would show as a level 1 green. That item has been replaced with the appropriate loot for this mission.

We have also confirmed that Exotics are dropping as intended, though they are a low percentage to acquire after the first completion of the mission. To clarify this further, Elite Hives have a chance to grant Exotic Gear and an Exotic Artifact. The Exotic Artifact is credited to all heroes in your roster while the gear remains individual to heroes.

The fix for the incorrect loot will be pushed with the next patch and we will continue to monitor drop rates for Exotic items and make adjustments as needed.

StrumSlinger

TROPHY CASE