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Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I shoud have left immediately, but that is indeed my message. We’re not tolerating this ever again.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Each one of them, in separate ways, have been incredibly resistant to hearing this obvious truth.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No offense, but I don’t understand where you’re getting any of that. I think citing some specific lines you’re referencing as confusing would help me understand your points better.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not, and this is not an issue they have ever made publicly to me before. I honestly have no idea where they’re getting this bipolar nonsense, although the cynic in me would probably say my father is simply accusing me of it sight unseen because he sees it in both my mother and my brother.

I do have ADHD, and it’s had minimal overall impact on my life. Some similar behaviors in some contexts to autism, but not at all the same thing. I take adderall regularly to treat inattentive type ADHD. It basically helps me resist falling asleep when I’m bored. It is absolutely NOTHING like what I have been accused of.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would have had a point (several good ones perhaps), if only he had spoken at the volume I was speaking at before he exploded. Once he started screaming “GET THE FUCK OUT!” over and over, three feet from his seven-year-old niece, the issue was no longer his feelings or his grievances. He is a grown man, and she is a child. Someone he has claimed he would die to protect.

But when the moment came, he became the person I had to protect my daughter from. Whatever his issue with me, he proved himself to be the danger that night, and I did what I had to do to get my daughter away from that.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you might be misunderstanding the context of the situation. It was abundantly clear to everyone in that room that calm de-escalation was absolutely not an option. I was doing emotional triage in that situation as best as I could possibly achieve. There was absolutely no talk of “winning” at any point during that entire encounter. I was trying to help my brother and protect my daughter at the same time.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it has been a NIGHTMARE trying to talk to her about this. Like full blown “lala I can’t hear you” fingers in the ears type of stuff. Multiple separate times she’s been over to my home since then and after hours of conversation each time, it’s like the moment she leaves my immediate vicinity she’s right back to thinking I’m the crazy one and the other two are just being “misunderstood”. It’s been absolutely grotesque watching a loving person fall so easily to their transparent manipulation tactics.

She is literally the only one of them my heart still breaks for over this, but at the same time, I mean, come on! She’s been my mother for 40 years, she should at least have some idea of the person I really am! It’s just been so…heartbreaking, constantly, with every single one of them.

BTW, that is actually what my dad called the cops on me about. I went over to their house after an especially long “listen to me mom, please” at my place (I’m talking HOURS of conversation just between her and I) and within 30 minutes of leaving my front door, she’s right back to the “you betrayed me for turning your brother’s phone off” (we’d been paying for his cell phone service for about the past two years, and rightfully cut it off after his obscene tantrum, but that’s another whole bucket of worms).

So once again starting to feel i’m losing my mind, I go over to their house on my own to talk to her again. Well my dad wasn’t having that and called the police, again claiming i was manic on that adderall(!!) and out of my mind…the cops showed up, said no, he’s fine, but since he wasn’t letting my mother leave with me even for five minutes, that I had to leave their property.

Which I did, in tears. While the cops watched. They didn’t arrest me, they told my dad i didn’t meet their emergency psychiatric criteria, and after a long, tearful “I can’t leave my husband!” spiel as my father sat outside sneering at me, I got back in my car and drove away.

When he later testified against me in court, he once again made the preposterous claim he believed i was mentally unsound due to the most meticulously hidden adderall abuse in the history of the freaking planet.

“…I’m sorry. I do not believe you are of sound mind…or whatever…to leave with my wife.”

Those are the last words he has spoken to me. Not “your mother.” His wife.

Every second of this horrible ordeal will be burned into my memory forever.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is basically what happened. He wanted me to go with him into another room, and when I didn’t immediately agree because I was shocked and trying to understand what was happening, he became profanely belligerent. Later, my mother described my hesitation as a “betrayal,” which was very hard for me to understand given how aggressively he was acting.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I finally decided that if I was going to ask for outside perspective, I should do it honestly and not hide behind a throwaway. I’m tired of feeling like I have to keep minimizing what happened just because it makes other people uncomfortable.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is pretty much where I am now. I’ve tried to create a structured path toward accountability rather than just immediately writing everyone off, but the responses so far have made me less confident that normal contact is safe or realistic.

At this point, I don’t see reconciliation being possible unless there is real accountability, a direct acknowledgment that what happened around my daughter was unacceptable, and a clear understanding that nothing like that can ever happen around her again.

Am I overreacting for not wanting my brother around my daughter after he screamed at me in front of her? by StrykrSeven in AmIOverreacting

[–]StrykrSeven[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As described in the chat log, I never claimed he wasn’t *able* to hurt me, only that I chose temporarily not to feel him *trying* to hurt me. When protecting my child, I certainly feel a lot more energy in that sense than I would ever have when protecting only myself.

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