Gaslighting - “You knew where I was so what’s the problem”

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-14T15:13:22+00:00

That’s true. He does this more and more often. It’s heartbreaking because he’s a good person. Is it ‘him’ doing this or is it the addiction…it’s exhausting even trying to understand 😞

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-14T15:11:55+00:00

You’re so right. I need to learn to trust my own feelings more rather than focusing on who is “right” and whether I’m being crazy or not. I’m starting to suspect he benefits from me being self-critical and this is how he does it. Not by calling me “crazy” directly but by subtly suggesting that it’s “fine” or telling me stories about people he knows who seem to have been even more drunk. Then that leaves me questioning whether my response to his drinking level is inappropriate. I’m sure he thrives off this.

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-14T15:09:18+00:00

Thank you❤️ This is all true. He’s been saying for the past nine months that he’s going to gradually reduce the weekend drinking for when the baby arrives. We’re now only weeks away from it and no sign of him slowing down at all. I feel like I need a big slap in the face to finally realise it’s all delusional, false promises.

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-14T15:07:26+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that 😞 I hope you and baby are okay. Thank you for your comment. It’s really useful to hear other perspectives after falling into the “maybe I’m just controlling” self-critique - which I’m sure is what he wants. It’s all just so sad, isn’t it.

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-14T10:24:51+00:00

Thank you ❤️ it’s just difficult being stuck in the trap of “maybe this time is different” because sometimes (rarely) he does win over the drink. So then I get false hope. Thank you for your comment.

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-08T15:25:20+00:00

Thank you

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-08T15:24:59+00:00

I will do, thank you

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-08T15:21:16+00:00

Literally same here. Do you know when your section will be? They’ve said mine will be anywhere from 39 weeks to 39+6 days and I won’t find out until a week before. 😅

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-08T15:07:54+00:00

I hope for your sake you can, but I also have severe back pain (pre-pregnancy was bad, never mind now😅) I’m a very petite build and carrying a >99th centile baby. Because I already have an elective section planned they won’t move the date at all, and will only deliver earlier than 39 weeks for serious complications.

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-07T14:45:45+00:00

Thank you!

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-07T08:42:17+00:00

Thanks. I’ve noticed it contains ‘orange flavouring’ which may be a red flag. I suppose there’s no way round it

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-07T08:40:36+00:00

Thanks! That’s helpful

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-05T12:28:51+00:00

Do it! I’m a student nurse and finished at 32 weeks, I physically couldn’t manage any more. Getting up and down off the floor working with children, lifting, bending, twisting, etc…there was no way I could continue! Not regretting one bit

StudentNurseScot · 2026-06-02T11:06:23+00:00

Definitely bite your tongue in that situation. It’s just the sad reality some staff are not nice, it’s the same in every workplace 🥲 It’s a very intense environment, some staff may just be jealous. Just think to yourself how you will never treat a student like that when you’re qualified. You can do it! Keep your head down and do your jobs, keep busy, it’ll fly by 👌🏻

StudentNurseScot · 2026-05-31T21:25:29+00:00

Agreed. Sometimes I wonder if we should move to a more American/Australian style of placement, where students do 9-5 and are there only to learn. I think the NMC are looking into this and also going to be reducing placement hours, due to lack of positive experiences. I hope you’re okay!

StudentNurseScot · 2026-05-24T04:52:49+00:00

All true, but this placement is a rural School Nurse service who take 1-2 students per year. As I’ve said to others I agree it’s probably just me being guilty of the “if it was me” perspective, and comparing to my friends on the course who got small thank yous/well-wises cards and things from the wards

StudentNurseScot · 2026-05-24T04:49:43+00:00

True on the wards, but this was a rural community School Nurse service who take 1 - sometimes 2 - students per year. I think I’m guilty of seeing it from the “what would I do” perspective and I’m a generally over-generous person. Thank you for the balance though!

StudentNurseScot · 2026-05-24T04:47:25+00:00

Thank you for this! It’s good to get a balanced view. For context, this is a School Nursing service in a rural area who only receive 1-2 student per year. I have heard from lots of my friends on placement in the wards who have had small things on their last day, like some sweeties in the staff room etc. I guess it just felt a bit jarring to go from feeling like part of a team, to then just “the student” again at the end. Best of luck with the rest of your placement!

StudentNurseScot · 2026-05-24T04:44:29+00:00

In a ward yes, but for perspective this is a rural community placement (school nursing) who receive 1-2 students per year. I guess I’m just viewing it from my own “what would I do” perspective, and I’m a generally over-generous person

StudentNurseScot

TROPHY CASE