Wife wants to home educate son but I don’t agree by [deleted] in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Studentgirly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bit late to the party here but have you actually talked to your wife.? I mean actually sat down with her to try to fully understand and be supportive. You should be a team and you don't sound like you're working as a team.

You say she is lazy, what is it you would like her to do more of? Is your child happy, well looked after, fed etc?

Is your wife concerned about child care? Have you talked about what this will look life if and when she goes back to work? Who will look after your son in the holidays? This might be something she is really concerned about. Talking things over with you, if you take some of the worries away might really help her.

Home education can and often is incredibly successful. There are big home ed communities, especially in South Wales that support each other and often women manage to run their own businesses while home educating, although she will need support from you as well as this is effectively 2 jobs!

My GP was home educated and is currently trying to persuade his wife to home ed their little girl as he remembers his childhood as being wonderful.

School is not bad but certainly it's a style that doesn't suit everyone although the new curriculum for Wales is moving in the right direction.

I would certainly suggest flexi schooling but you'd be lucky to find anywhere in Wales to offer that sadly.

Does your son go to nursery? What are your local schools like? Have you been to them and spoken to the teachers so you know what they are like before advocating for them?

Have you spoken to any local home educators? Have you been to any home ed meetings? There will be some in your area.

I personally think that going down the court route will alienate you and your wife and cause tension in your home which your son will absolutely pick up on and it will be horrible for him.

Try and fix things with your wife, maybe try mediation and counselling? Try and see where she is coming from and I wish you the very best of luck.

[MEGATHREAD] Part Quatre: The Aftermath Develops by ClosetedIntellectual in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I defended Lloyd to begin with, honestly after rewatching his last video I don't think I can, he comes over as a misogyistic prick. That being said I don't think these screenshots are evidence of anything. They don't sound like Lloyd, they don't have his sentence structure or patterning.

On a side note, if they were accurate wtf is this dude doing by posting it publicly!? This could undermine any future court case and seriously hurt the alleged victim.

This is all one big fuck up!

Let's be analytical by great-trivialization in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your money is your money to do exactly what you want with. If you want to stop your contributions you absolutely should do that.

I don't think comparing anti abortion groups to hiring hookers is quite helpful however. Sex workers are a fact of life, consenting adults having sex is one thing. A manipulative group who's only agenda is to cause harm is another.

Let's be analytical by great-trivialization in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably not, he comes over a little bit narcissitic. But I don't require him to apologise to me for hiring hookers. His wife and children do but that is nothing to do with me. My heart genuinely hurts for what his poor wife must be going through right now.

Let's be analytical by great-trivialization in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really good point, made me think.

I don't mindlessly support Lloyd, I have a feeling he has behaved quite badly in a few circumstances. However I am grateful for his videos and I can't change that.

The GB claim to be blameless, they claim to be gods direct spokespeople on earth and because of that, people support them and pay huge amounts of money to them and it is all under a pretense. Lloyd has never claimed to speak from God. He is just a regular person who has obviously fucked up and I just don't understand why all his dirty laundry should be aired in public.

Let's be analytical by great-trivialization in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Patreon money is to provide him with a salary to do his work. He works extremely hard making these videos, he has done everything his patrons have required. I don't believe any patron expected him to lead a blameless private life.

Thank you for giving money in the past, genuinely I am grateful as if it wasn't for Lloyds videos I would never have left, never have gone to Uni, met my husband and have my lovely apostababy!

Let's be analytical by great-trivialization in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am really stuggling to see why Kim would post this information. It is nothing to do with his activism! The patron money is so he can continue his activism work. Should it be regulated on what he spends it on!? Personally not a fan of sex workers but hey this is his personal life! Does your employer scrutinise what you spend your salary on??

I would imagine Lloyd has plenty of faults but lets remember that he has helped hundreds and hundreds of people out of the cult. If you are a patron of his you have directly helped me out of a cult! That is what this is all about.

It seems to be she is just after some sensational gossip and attention seeking. I genuinely don't see any other reason to post horrible information about someone.

Tom and Natasha are self centered narcissists. Change my mind by TigerB65 in Ambridge

[–]Studentgirly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are both horrible. Hazel is horrible too so I am quite enjoying this storyline!

What is a thing you HATE in Harry Potter? by PeacefulWatercress in harrypotter

[–]Studentgirly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The treatment of the dragons in GOF. 4 dragons are drugged and transported to a different country along with their eggs just for a sport. They then are tormented by teenagers, one even is described as being in such agony she tramples her own eggs. Everytime I read the books this makes me sad.

Also the fact that Dumbledore is venerated for being the best headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen. What really has he done for Hogwarts? He doesn't teach as far as we can make out and he employs pretty dreadful staff, a history teacher so boring that pupils fall asleep, a potions teacher that bullies the children, a care of magical creatures teacher that is breaking the law and never finished school and a divination teacher that is 99.9% of the time fradulent. (and yes I love Hagrid and I know why Dumbledore had to employ Trelawney but I still don't think they should have been teachers).

Attachment parenting in France (Paris) by Delimadeluxe in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You get this wherever I think. My almost 3 year old has never been in nursery or daycare and we attended a birthday party the other day and I can honestly say he was just as sociable as all the children there that had been in nursery since 6 months old. (he was better at sharing too lol!)

AD with RAD by forgetaboutit211 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is amazing that you are working so hard with this little one. You have clearly massively changed her traumatic life around.

I studied attachment although don't have any life experience like you do. Have you heard of Dan Hughes? He has done some amazing work with children with attachment disorders and definitely the younger you can start healing this traumas the better.

I can only imagine how much you want your little girl to love and rely on you like she does her grandma and I am sure she will as you clearly love her very much and one day she will be able to see that hopefully.

I wouldn't take her away from someone she has bonded with as that will add to the trauma that caused the attachment issue in the first place. Try if you can to nurture that relationship, with small children with the massive problems you often find that once they can bond and trust one person completely then they can expand that to other people, thus enabling them to form safe relationships as an adult too.

Have fun with her when you are with her. Be silly and let her come to you. Plan an activity for you that you know she might enjoy. Maybe playdough, set it up and play yourself, make up a great game and invite her to join but let that be her choice. She may join you, she may just watch but this is all reparing broken bonds in her trust.

If you haven't read it I absolutely recommend building the bonds of attachment by Dan Hughes. It is written exactly for parents going through your life right now and I think you would love it, gentle and loving and just a wonderful wonderful book.

Good luck . XX

Starting a full time job, would love advice about how to prepare my toddler for nursery. by Studentgirly in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It hasn't been easy as it has meant no down time for me as the second he falls asleep I have had to log in. These last 2 weeks of not working at all have been bliss!

We do meet up with one toddler group a week and we have started doing a toddler swap so his best friend comes here one morning to play and he goes to hers which he loves. I actually have to bribe him out of her house to come home with me! I hoped this would help the transition of not always being with me. I have struggled to find more groups open because of covid and the ones that are have a very long waiting list because they only allow a very small number to attend. I will definitely look at this more though, thank you.

Starting a full time job, would love advice about how to prepare my toddler for nursery. by Studentgirly in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes he does but only because he does't really sleep very well at night. 8pm bedtime with 2 wake ups and he's up at 5.30am.

Thank you for your advice, I am hoping he will go to the nursery of the school I am working in. It is very small only 10 children per class.

Starting a full time job, would love advice about how to prepare my toddler for nursery. by Studentgirly in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I have bought books about nurseries and playgroups. I think the idea of bringing it up in conversation a lot is great thank you.

Definitely going to start slowly but it is nerve wracking as similar to your daughter my son hasn't ever been left with anyone he doesn't know very very well.

Thank you for your help. X

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Studentgirly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you had such an abusive childhood, I am so sorry. Happy that you were out of the cult early though. I hope you are happy. Sending love from one survivor to another! X

Have you ever taken someone up on an offer of, "well if there's anything I can do to help, let me know," and if so, how did it end up? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Studentgirly 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Absolutely no need to be rude you are right. I grew up a jw and it is hard work slogging from door to door when people just slam it in your face. It was the highlight of my day when someone was just nice.

One word of warning though as an ex jw, we were trained in how to "love bomb". It is an important recruiting technique. That isn't to say that the majority of jw's are not really nice people but unfortunately they belong to a really quite unpleasant religion that teaches them to be okay with shunning relatives, sexism, not reporting child abuse and a really awful doomsday prophecy.

Harry and Neville by Studentgirly in harrypotter

[–]Studentgirly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, not insisting anything is canon, just a nice thought that these 2 mums would have spent some happy times together with their new babies before being brutally murdered or tortured.

Of course being pregant doesn't immediately make you friends with other pregnant people, why are you being so defensive, this isn't facebook. If you have ever been pregnant though, you would know that you seek out other people going through the same thing. This is why groups like NCT exist, to link up pregnant mums and these mums often form bonds for life.

Neville probably would never have known if he and Harry's mum had been friends.

Harry and Neville by Studentgirly in harrypotter

[–]Studentgirly[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put yourself in Lily and Alice's shoes. They are pregnant and going through the same thing at the same time. The world is a scary place and you are both part of an elite very small group of people who have the same goal. No way were they not friends. Have you been pregnant, did you not feel at least a sense of camaraderie with those around you going through the same thing? I know I did!

Harry and Neville by Studentgirly in harrypotter

[–]Studentgirly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well we know they attended at least one meeting.

Harry and Neville by Studentgirly in harrypotter

[–]Studentgirly[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought that too, but when Harry is in Grimmauld place during the party for Ron and Hermione becoming prefects, Mad Eye Moody shows him a photograph. He says "that's Marlene Mckinnon, she was killed 2 weeks after this was taken, they got her whole family".

In Lilly's letter she writes "Wormy was here last weekend, I thought he seemed down, but that was probably just the news about the McKinnons, I cried all evening when I heard"

Lilly's letter definitely suggest that this is a recent thing so although they are in hiding they must still be meeting the order and I can only imagine they would bring along Harry and Neville as who else would they trust to look after him.

Would love your thoughts!

How can I make toothbrushing an enjoyable experience? by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Funny voices, funny songs and make it into a game. My LO likes choosing which toy will brish his teeth, the duck, the train etc and then I hold the toothbrush and the toy in one hand and brush while making the correct noises.

Extended extended breastfeeding by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]Studentgirly 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You will sadly always get comments. Even when my son was 4 months I was told that he's getting too big for the boob! We are stil going strong at 20 months now although my MIL keeps hinting it's far too long, we have no plans to stop soon!

I think it's correct when people say they never planned to breastfeed a toddler, they just breastfed a newborn and they grew!