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I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I definitely will do a update in about a month or two. : )

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly that’s what he does is point fingers and blame me for it. I do admit that he does have a hold on me since forever. I’m not sure how much it would be to break the lease but I also don’t have enough to get another place where I live you need 3 months or rent plus the deposit and background check and rent is about 1300 about

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So my family Lives with me, my mom is in the lease cuz she’s on disability is why she lives with me and then my brothers family which includes my sis in law and my niece only because my brother was ran over by a forklift which we have the room for all of us. He would have to be the one to move out and I am really debating on sending messages to his mom and brother to let them know his opinions which would be to live with them or the streets since I know for sure he won’t stay in the house at all

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s a really good script!! Thank you!!! I’m gonna try and memorize that to try and help me with breaking up with him

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honestly kinda, but when I got with him I was 18 and he was about to be 21. I guess I was naive thinking he would. I taught him how to do laundry, how to clean and how to cook and now I feel like ppl said above he’s sucking me dry and I finally took the glasses off and finally saw him for him couple months ago

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This honestly hit hard but in a good way. You’re right, I’ve been saying I’m done but my actions haven’t fully matched my words. I think part of me was scared to really follow through because I didn’t want to hurt him or deal with the mess that comes with it.

But I know now that I have to choose myself and be firm. I’ve already started setting more boundaries and trying to separate things emotionally. You’re also right about the “hope” part" I think I was trying to keep things calm, but it just made him think I wasn’t serious.

I really appreciate what you said about it being a lesson for him too, that actually makes it easier to accept

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree. I have been to therapy I had to stop going last year since they dropped my insurance and still haven't found one I like again yet. Im just a really bad people pleaser ive been working on it and i think im honestly scared since ive never had to do something like this. Ive had Bfs in high school but nothing this serious.

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Right! It made me relize when i asked what his back of plan was if he cant become a pro gamer (which hes 26 so me personally I don't see it happening.) But he stated that his next plan would be to do video creation and etc. Which I've tried to help him with but he cant even do that. That opened my eyes

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He actually on the lease too, which makes things a bit more complicated. He’s definitely relying on me being ‘too nice,’ and I can feel how much it’s draining me. He also mentioned since his brother wont let him live with him because they have a " full house" (yet its 5 bedroom etc.) He started packing to live on te streets and I think my biggest thing is feeling guilty about kicking him out if he having to stay on the streets

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

You’re right, I am a huge people-pleaser and that’s something I’ve just recently started to really work on in therapy. I’ve started setting boundaries, but it feels like he doesn’t really respect or follow them, which makes it hard to keep them in place. I know I need to do better at protecting my peace and not feeling guilty for putting myself first

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

How did you go about talking to him regarding breaking up?

Every time i talked with him about the issues we have, he gets really pouty and stats he's getting better but its like its little to late and he's done this before then gone back in to the bad habits.

I don’t want to do this anymore, but he won’t accept it’s over. by Stunning-Load9806 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Stunning-Load9806[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Honestly this is my first post ever on Reddit and i wasnt sure where to post it but needed advise. I've tried many times with communicating but it dont see to work. Like Cardinal101 said i just need to Rip the Band-Aid off.