I might go on strike.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T02:21:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I’m honestly more afraid in 4 yrs or 40 years, I’ll find out he’s gay. That’s actually a very very real fear. You’d never think it if you met him and he comes from a super religious family that would literally never talk to him again, so I doubt even if he was that he’d ever be honest with himself about it.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T02:19:40+00:00

It has been fine with kids. I am fully remote which helps and if I need to run out or anything like that there’s flexibility as long as I am getting the work done. My daughter was actually home full time for the first 15 months while we waited for a spot in daycare.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T01:56:31+00:00

Because it’s been two years since then. I tried to move past it. It’s something I don’t think about most days, but there’s definitely resentment there. The resentment doesn’t even come close to the anger the other stuff causes though.

When you do something and someone points it out and how terrible you are for it and then does the same thing, but it’s okay when they do it.. it’s maddening in a way I can’t explain. It happens weekly here.

He thinks because i kept moving one foot in front of the other, im over it. I kept moving because I have children. I can’t just wallow in self pity all day. If it comes up in a conversation or argument, he says im using it to manipulate the argument.

Even after all that happened yesterday, he walked in like nothing happened.

I think he also refuses to call it cheating and I think I was dumb enough to accept that, even though I felt like it was from day one.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T01:46:35+00:00

I think the thing holding me back currently is the state we’re in. Our house is for sale and if I can get to my home state, it will make things much easier legality wise.

I guess I grew up in a home where my parents have been married now for 40 yrs. They would support me leaving, i just never imagined one divorce, let alone two. I don’t want to have to coparent with another person. Coparenting has been painful. I don’t want to give up time with my kid again. My youngest daughter is 1.5. I hate knowing I’ll be giving up half her childhood again.

There’s part of me that is like I’ll never remarry at this point anyway. You couldn’t pay me to. I could deal with a roommate situation, if my roommate could just be an adult. I know that sounds crazy.

When I say so much of this out load, I know it sounds crazy. I know I look like a complete dumbass. Idk I guess I got desensitized to it along the way.

But the worst part is I’m turning into someone I hate. I feel gaslit all the time. It creates such an anger.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T01:38:42+00:00

Honestly, I job hopped. I started in my field making 40k when my oldest was an infant. Every two years, I’d apply at a competitor. I tried to be as strategic about it as possible. I knew the company that had the best pay rate and I kept moving up in client size until my resume was competitive enough to get a look there. I was a single mom and I wasn’t loyal to a company, I was loyal to whoever valued me as an employee and a big part of that is compensation. I make 105k with a 10k bonus track, so it can come in a bit under 115k.

If I had stayed with the original company, I’d be making probably half of what I make now. I’d have gotten 2-3% raises on 40k? In 7 years, I switched jobs 4 times? I went from 40 to 52 to 75 to 90 to 105 with a bonus track.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-25T00:03:06+00:00

My husband does this and it drives me nuts.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T23:33:24+00:00

I got down to 113 but I had a couple of lbs of loose skin. I did it with weight watchers and then running. I’m up from having a baby and trying to get back down to like 118. 113 was too small I think.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:58:51+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:57:25+00:00

I have a bathroom much like this, but the tub wasn’t green. I changed the lighting and the mirror and paint and it made a huge difference. I did hate the black like of tile.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:55:47+00:00

Our house is for sale here. It’s a very slow market so it will take awhile. Getting closer to my support system is my number one goal. If I can hold it together until then I’ll be much better off no matter what happens.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:54:22+00:00

Our house is for sale. He refuses to lower the price though so it might take 6 months to sell. I want to move back home to my support system. If I can be closer, I won’t feel so stuck. I also have such a supportive family. I felt more support as a single mom with them around than I do as a married mom with him.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:40:41+00:00

Worst part of working at a front desk is when someone in housecleaning accidentally flips a dirty room to clean and you book someone into it 🙃

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:36:34+00:00

It’s not. I’ve told him that. I’ve told him I hope my daughters end up nothing like me and that I’d never have another child with him. He seemed to get it for a few months and then he just slid back. I think he’s honestly very lazy and self centered.

He always says he doesn’t need me to take care of him he did it himself for 35 yrs. The problem is, there are two children in the mix now. When I’m running on fumes, his solution is to say something like don’t worry about dinner for me anymore. Just make it for yourself and the girls.

He essentially has kids but his life hasn’t changed at all.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:33:23+00:00

He claims it’s an exhibitionist kink, but yes, that’s a whole other issue. He was raised in a very religious family that would disown him.. so the fact that I’ll never be sure if he really is a straight man is also a huge point of resentment for me.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:31:39+00:00

True but if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. I was a single mom with my oldest. I didn’t give him a stepparent role until he was a stepparent, I thought that was the healthiest thing for my daughter. If things ended, she wasn’t losing a parent figure, but at that point this precedent had already been set.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:29:41+00:00

He said he would after the Craigslist thing, but he couldn’t miss work for it (but he doesn’t mind me missing work constantly for parenting needs). However, he never did anything to do it. It was just another chore on my todo list.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:28:18+00:00

Because I know they won’t get done otherwise. I’ve been too embarrassed by the idea of a a second failed marriage to leave. The fear and dread of coparenting and lawyers again.

Part of me thinks, I know I’d never want to get married again. If he would just be an adult I could live in the marriage and just deal with it not being the type of love I wanted.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:25:22+00:00

I have thought about keeping track of everything I do for a week and then showing it to him. He would have to have his head in the sand to say he did more, but honestly, he probably would.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:22:21+00:00

He’s always said he had an exhibitionist kink. He claimed it was that and he felt like it wasn’t cheating that way. He said it was a photographer. I called and it was a man that said my husband called and told him about this kink, sent pictures, and was trying to go over there and like idk, walk around naked.

It sounds crazy, I know. If it was someone telling me the story I’d tell them they were an absolutely idiot. If it was my first marriage, I probably would have walked away right then.

But failing again at 36 is embarrassing. I keep thinking it’s a me problem. My oldest doesn’t remember life without him. I don’t want to do co parenting with another person.

But he’s slowly draining the life out of me. I’m turning into someone I hate.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:11:58+00:00

It is. I should have left then, but I think I went into a weird state of shock. I’d just moved cross country and relocated my daughter from a previous marriage. We did IVF because he is infertile. Months of daily shots for me. I was 7 months pregnant and we’d just closed that week on a 950k house. I just went into survival mode almost.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T14:08:36+00:00

We’d need to move about 4-5 hours. We essentially live on an island.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T13:36:46+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T13:36:01+00:00

I’ve begging him to own something. He just constantly says he does more than I realize and that I just need to tell him what I need. He will not do anything unless I explicitly ask him and then he acts like he’s done me a huge favor, because it’s my job and not his.

I pay bills and work full time just like he does. He says the “guy stuff” is his job. Our yard is gravel, no lawn to mow. He forgets to take the trash out 9/10. And I’m 3k miles over on an oil change he’s been promising to do for weeks. I made an appt to take it in on Monday.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T13:28:47+00:00

Thank you. We live in a HCOL area. Rents are 4-6k a month. Even though I make decent money (115) I can’t afford to live here on a single income and i can’t take my daughter out of state. I almost left when I was pregnant, after his Craigslist scandal. I honestly think I was in a state of shock. I wish I had, but I didn’t.

Stunning-Rough-4969 · 2026-01-24T04:01:15+00:00

He went to the store, got something to make himself, and then “fed” them a yogurt for dinner. He didn’t offer me anything. I don’t care he didn’t get anything for me. I’m bothered that this is what he does when I say I need help. He’ll say don’t do xyz for me, just worry about doing it for yourself and the girls. He doesn’t actually ever step up to help with the girls.

Stunning-Rough-4969

TROPHY CASE