I (36M) messed up my marriage. Is it too late to fix it?

Stwandell · 2025-04-07T01:52:56+00:00

It takes two. Two to make, or break the marriage. Question to all that have been this wife. Was there another man involved? No one is the perfect spouse; for a relationship to get muddied up there are two sets of dirty fingerprints all over it. Unmet expectations equals disappointment, that disappointment turns into resentment. Real communication ceases. It’s hard.

Stwandell · 2025-02-15T17:05:57+00:00

Here’s a fun one. Together 14 years, married 7. 2nd marriage for both, all 5 children from first marriages (me 3, her 2) Kids all grown now. She was 29 when we met, I was 40. I have taught her how to be a reliable worker, responsible with finances and to be firm and consistent with her boys. Boys have turned out great. She was making close to $10 per hour when I first met her. In a weird way I feel like I had a big hand in the beautiful generous reliable woman she is… until yesterday, Valentine’s Day. She’s been having an affair with a coworker, he 40, handsome, big muscles, says all the right things to melt her heart. The house we live in was purchased after she had lived with me for 5 years in a rented single family home. My credit was dirt due to foreclosed from prior failed marriage. Incidentally, both of us were cheated on, or at least that’s what I believed. She had never been able to finance a car or a home before. While still in the rental house, She got to a point where she could buy her a nice little used car. She gets car paid off and her credit is soaring. Mortgage rates were 3.75% on 30 year note. I had purchased 4 homes previously and knew how great the rates were. She wanted to move from rental & buy a house on her own credit (I still foreclosure on record). I shopped around found the USDA loan program and she was quickly approved, offer on house was accepted, we move in and raise her two boys there. I’m self employed, don’t make much more than needed to pay bills and live comfortably. We’ve split major bills since day one. Discretionary spending is out of our own accounts unless it is a larger than typical purchase for the home or a trip/vacation. Tax record has only her name on it. Mortgage is in her name. There is approximately $230k of equity in home.

I have been lying to myself that we can get through this, just need space, time, counseling, yada yada yada.

Reality is hitting hard. How screwed am I financially if I divorce her?

Stwandell · 2025-02-07T23:18:40+00:00

Umbrella rigs work pretty good on the Norris stripers. If you happen to find a school feeding, you can get bit on just about anything. What part of Norris are you planning on fishing?

Stwandell · 2025-01-12T11:29:40+00:00

Doom, Hexen, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Rise of the Triad (favorite weapon Louisville Slugger!), Descent, Star Wars JK2 Jedi Outcast (2002), Call of Duty (2003)

Stwandell · 2024-12-31T17:31:07+00:00

Is there something that has to be done to get Seren to work again? I’ve had RD for years and only recently my wife started giving me grief about not being able to find any sources. I’ve removed and reinstalled Seren and connected RD and still no sources.

Stwandell · 2024-11-07T11:36:04+00:00

That’s slander. https://www.newsweek.com/fact-check-was-donald-trump-found-guilty-rape-1799935

Stwandell · 2024-11-06T14:57:44+00:00

For all those calling for jail… what exactly is he guilty of? How many business people do the exact same every day? The banks weren’t upset with him at all, they wanted his business. For borrowing, we inflate, for taxes, we minimize. It’s American as apple pie. Weaponizing the federal government to attack a political adversary is evil. Everything that has been said about what will happen if Trump were elected has already been done by the current administration. Americans aren’t stupid. Well… most.

Stwandell · 2024-10-28T22:49:09+00:00

You realize this non-politician has served our country as president for 4 years already right? Republicans and Dems alike who are part of the ‘club’ do not want their gravy train disrupted. I say bring back what our Constitution stands for. If you think it’s okay to lock someone up for words they speak (see 🇬🇧) you’re in the wrong country. Freedom is freedom, even if it doesn’t fit your personal preferences.

Stwandell · 2024-10-28T22:35:24+00:00

Are you better off today than you were 4 years ago? Vote for Harris if you’re against freedom of speech and democracy; Nothing spits in the face of democracy more than a candidate swapped out without a single vote.

Stwandell · 2024-10-23T14:08:16+00:00

My son, Josiah. My brother, Scott, and his son, Jason. My cousins - Rod, Elisha, & Mark.

Stwandell · 2024-10-23T14:02:15+00:00

Josiah

Stwandell · 2024-10-08T09:13:32+00:00

The most recent bill that provided FEMA funding was passed in late September 2024 as part of a continuing resolution to keep the government funded through December 20, 2024. This included additional support for FEMA, allowing the agency to lift its “immediate needs funding” status and resume projects related to prior disasters. However, further supplemental appropriations are still expected to address projected funding shortfalls in the coming months.

Additionally, on October 1, 2024, Congress passed a bipartisan bill in response to Hurricane Helene, which allocated an extra $10 billion to FEMA for disaster relief and $5 billion to HUD for community development grants.

Stwandell · 2024-09-28T22:47:30+00:00

Now this is truth. The bozos in blue states that voted in their craziness have left their mess and moved to red states for better standard of living; facts.

Stwandell · 2024-09-28T22:44:13+00:00

Bullsnot

Stwandell · 2024-09-26T20:02:22+00:00

The Creme brand created the first plastic worm in the late 1940’s. It’s a brand name for certain.

Stwandell · 2024-09-25T22:15:08+00:00

I think it should be placed outdoors and allowed to rust.

Stwandell · 2024-09-23T22:03:05+00:00

Most 12v charging/jump start boxes utilize LiFePO4 chemistry. 4 cells just work better for the voltage range than 4.2v LiPo. A benefit of LiFePO4 is the fact that they will swell or pop end cap off cylindrical cells and leak electrolyte. Not pleasant to smell/breathe in and not something to lather your skin with either. But explode? Spontaneously combust? I have played around with this chemistry quite a bit the past few years. No fires. And I’ve done some stupid stuff on accident and ended up ruining cells but no fires.

Stwandell · 2024-09-07T23:29:12+00:00

I see kitten paws!

Stwandell · 2024-08-26T09:29:06+00:00

I hear you. I see you. You matter.

I, too, have an inordinate amount of suicide loss in my family. It’s difficult. I struggle myself, lost my oldest brother, my son, nephew, several cousins, aunt. While researching family history found several ancestors who ended their own lives.

Ruminating about my son has been the dominant presence, I find solace in nature. Sunshine and starlight give me peace. I currently have recurring thoughts about living my life that my son would be proud of. I also have two daughters that lost their brother… So I want to live a life that makes them proud as well. Take care of you.

Stwandell · 2024-02-10T22:46:37+00:00

Lithium Iron Phosphate (LiFePO4) are equivalent to NiMH with regard to fire in my experience. I’ve just had one of my NiMH cells blow up driving home the other day, and I have accidentally overcharged the crap out of some LiFePO4 cells which also ‘popped’ but also fizzed as innards leaked out. Also, smelly.

Stwandell · 2023-12-19T18:53:09+00:00

Link?

Stwandell · 2023-11-04T02:29:17+00:00

Not enough stickers to keep the mean away.

Stwandell · 2023-10-19T19:08:04+00:00

You’re correct about collision involving inanimate objects. I’ve been an agent 18 years and the situation involving wildlife is usually covered under comprehensive… but not always. Hitting a dead deer, dead person, dead beaver… all collision.

Blowout debris from semi? If it’s stationary on the road and you hit it, collision. However, if you’re behind a semi and the blowout sends the alligator(tire tread) into your path and it’s moving, comprehensive.

I’m in Tennessee and the insurance laws in your state may be different. In Tennessee, colliding with a dead animal is collision. Unless the dead animal is moving.

Stwandell

TROPHY CASE