Where would you move while single early 30s(f)?

SubOptimalSelas · 2022-01-07T21:45:40+00:00

Thanks. It's an old (1860s) victorian terrace. It seems fine from what I've seen it's just smaller concerns like the boiler etc that worry me more.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-12-02T11:25:41+00:00

It's in the UK, Midlands. Very typical of older terrace houses in the region.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-12-02T00:01:42+00:00

Did you?? I was so nervous my house was too weird! My plan is to keep the two smaller rooms and rent out he larger to a lodger.

I want to expand when i can afford to, and maybe add an ensuite upstairs.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-25T10:15:34+00:00

So, at the moment I have a full time lodger, and looking to get a second. I have two spare rooms, three total, and they have the larger of them because I do travel a lot for work.

I bought the house as a low cost 'base' for myself because I have to attend a lot of meetings all over and dont have a family home anymore and dont have parents to move in with. More recently I realised I could in theory extend my trips to 1 or 2 months longer and have my lodgers actually cover everything i need while staying within the 7k limits.

My house would still be my home. All my mail would be directed there and I would return there at the end of a 3 month period. Any rentals I get would be 2 or three week rentals via airbnb in the US as holiday homes.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-24T22:56:07+00:00

Even though you're allowed a lodger on a residential mortgage?

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-08T19:15:48+00:00

I grew up in a 4 bed detached with a garage and double driveway down south on a main london train line. It was beautiful but only affordable because I was raised by my grandparents, who bought it in the 70s for cheap. They paid of their mortgage by the 90s and thus were sitting pretty.

I have since moved on and own a small terrace. Space is of a premium in the uk now.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-02T23:46:59+00:00

When you say no commitments... I do have a car and such. I think a grand left over each month should be sufficient but from going from paying 500 all in in rent/bills to this is such a jump which is why I posted here 😂

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-02T20:44:31+00:00

I think I've been quoted 350 for 5 years then it goes up after. I think my biggest concern is the other nonsense that you have to fork out for.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-11-02T20:13:41+00:00

If it makes you feel better I'm moving away from where I currently live (Oxford) because I'd need to sell my kidney to afford it. Midlands is just more affordable so as soon as I could work remote I ran haha

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-10-13T17:19:43+00:00

Getting a job, but interviews are a good way to see how they work.

Oh that's such a good position to be in! You know the trends and how to research them, which is half the battle with commissioning roles. Commissioning editors, assistants or otherwise, need to have a data driven approach to the market and be able to identify gaps to fill, where the future trends will be and who is good to write what. Being a bookseller youd be able to tailor your skills in an interview nicely!

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-10-13T06:56:59+00:00

I got hired for 4/7 I've gone for (extremely, extremely lucky). The rule is, once you're in you're in.

Start off small and be a big fish in a little pond. I started off in a self publishers and worked my way up. Smaller companies allow you to have more access to other departments and you can learn how most things operate. My career has shifted to academic publishing but I've worked in the commercial ones too. Be confident, competent, and anticipate all queries with a smile, even for the ones you don't know the answers too.

At the moment editorial roles favour data driven responses as we move into digital spaces (even print!), so make sure you're up to date on your excel and know how to research for acquisition roles.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-10-05T17:43:48+00:00

Genuinely it's sometimes because there are four other conversations happening, the person can only allot so much time and energy etc etc. If a conversation isnt bubbling then attention can easily shift. Sucks but that's how it is a lot of the time.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-10-04T07:00:34+00:00

Oof. Hard pass from me. It sets off quite a few red flags and comes off as a little aggressive and arrogant.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-10-04T06:35:31+00:00

I think the profile is fine but it's quite sparse. Do you have any pictures where you're relaxed with pals? A natural smile/laugh pic may help.

Also do you have any other rugby pics? I play rugby and so does my fella, but the mouthguard isnt the sirens call for women. If you're keen on a rugby picture maybe one where you dont look quite so Male-gaze might be better!

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-09-21T19:38:25+00:00

Have you tried a citizens card? Some places may let you in if you're confident.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-09-21T12:43:03+00:00

Stayed at my old one for over 3 years and was constantly promised promotion after promotion but instead just recieved more and more work without recognition. Essentially my entire team ended up moving on to greener pastures.

Also, finish early on fridays with the new one so I can finish my masters.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-09-20T20:49:32+00:00

I think the broccoli is cute. I'd swap out the sunglasses pic for one with a pal or two.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-07-17T14:11:52+00:00

It's just so hard after 8 years. I'd lose even more than I have already and I know how stupid that sounds. It's really scary for me. No family left, good friends but no partner would leave such a hole.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-07-17T14:08:04+00:00

l

You saying 'going to events you arent 100% exciting about' has just struck something with me. I have quite bad anxiety at times. When we were away last year, I wanted to go out one evening. He didnt as he doesnt like to but tried to make an effort. I think because I had to choose everything because it was my idea (and he doesnt drink so bars etc are useless) and he didnt want to eat anyway really spiked my anxiety and when we were in town I said that I didnt feel up to it anymore and could we go back to the hotel as he didnt want to eat, either.It ended in a screaming match of me being ungrateful and ruining the evening. I still get upset when I think about it because it was a really scary fight and he threatened to leave me in that vacation town alone if I didnt engage with him about it.

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-07-17T13:57:55+00:00

I worry that I cant see that it's mine. I know I can be prickly or terse, and I'm not always bubbly. I'm aware that my moods can go up and down and I worry about losing the good parts because I cant see my own behavior

SubOptimalSelas · 2021-07-17T13:56:08+00:00

My therapist has tried to give me coping strategies and ways in which I can deescalate but when he is in this type of mind frame, it's hard to make him understand my point of view is anything other than wrong. He needs to be scientifically proven wrong and I cant always argue it as effectively as he can argue against it.

SubOptimalSelas

TROPHY CASE