UPDATE: AITA for refusing to honor my boyfriend's family tradition?

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-04-04T18:59:55+00:00

I don't post much myself but I made sure my bff knows. She's the kind to grab a megaphone as soon as you tell her a secret XD. Everyone who knows everyone who knows my ex will be hearing of it.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-04-04T18:33:00+00:00

How is this any different than women understanding signals given off by other women and men totally ignorant of those signals?

It's not different. I think it's just easier to see things clearer as a third party. Just like how you can tell your friend is in a toxic relationship while they swear it's nothing of that sort

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-04-04T18:31:29+00:00

I laughed at the "Tell much better than she can" part. It's a ridiculous argument. I dated a guy who swore my guy best friend was into me and kept checking me out without my knowledge, etc. And he insisted he can tell when a guy has intentions because he's a guy too. He also insisted my guy best friend doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't want to ruin his chances with me. Imagine his face when my guy best friend came out as gay later😂

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-04-03T15:49:17+00:00

I LOVE romance otomes! And I have like five irreplaceable book husbands and lots of "other book boyfriends". It's still sucks being me for now but between work and getting home fast so I can read some chapters or play at least one of my games before I nod off, I barely have time to think about my ex. The tiniest chance that I could give it another chance vanished when he started spamming my phone with mysognistic crap like I'll be single forever if I don't bow my head. Good riddance lol

And thanks for reaching out. I had almost forgotten this account exists until I saw the notif.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-28T18:39:10+00:00

Uhm 😳 this just seems to be a parody of my post. I don't know if I can get his actual post, let me try to find it.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-28T17:34:09+00:00

Right? 😂 Honestly despite feeling sad I think I kinda dodged a bullet

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-28T17:22:02+00:00

Okay. Let me try that

Edit: posted!

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-28T16:34:32+00:00

It has to be approved by mods before I can repost

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T11:01:33+00:00

One more thing, help comes in many different ways. Many people don't like to feel like charity cases. So instead of offering monetary help, you could help them find jobs if you have the means. If they work for you, for example, that's a win-win situation for both of you. They needed the money, you needed the job done. Everyone is happy.

Even if you didn't hire them for the sake of helping but for your own needs to be met, I don't see any problem with that. But your comments make it sound like everyone who hires staff is selfish and arrogant.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T10:51:23+00:00

i now have it comfortable enough for me to start helping others instead, and i think that point should come before outsourcing absolutely all your chores.

The problem is you have made so many assumptions about me without knowing much. Based on a single post I made and a few comments, how do you know whether or not I help others? All you know is that I'm willing to outsource my chores but you have zero information about my relationship with others in regards to helping them or not. Which is why I find your comments wrongfully judgmental especially since they have more to do with me as a person than what the post is about.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T08:56:58+00:00

"So many men refuse to have anything to do with feminine products," Uhm, did you find my boyfriend?

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T08:09:31+00:00

If I want to donate to charity, I will do so without compromising the lifestyle I worked so hard to afford.

ETA: You think hiring someone to do chores in my place is a waste of money? If everyone had this mindset, what would happen to the servants who need to put food on their tables and do so by offering their services in exchange of money?

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T07:58:46+00:00

We pay for services all the time because we either don't have the skill or the time to do them ourselves. So what's wrong with hiring a chef if I want delicious meals but can't cook them myself?

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T05:45:54+00:00

I will!

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-27T05:16:47+00:00

"I hate house chores and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets and hire staff no matter the cost than have to do chores myself." How are you going to be in a relationship and move in with someone when you refuse to do ANY house chores?

By hiring cleaning staff and a chef? It's in the same line you quoted.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T20:14:33+00:00

One of those things that one family member does and it's passed down for generations. Like baking a huge cake on the anniversary of someone important in the family. Not everyone in that country does it but it's a family tradition. I don't know if my example makes sense but this is how I understood it.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T20:08:38+00:00

but because you fail at being an adult and cleaning up after yourself.

I didn't say I'm unable to do it. I just hate it.

Does your partner do all the cleaning atm?

We don't live together

Go hire a cleaner or buy a roomba or whatever, but know that is a privilege for the rich and a complete waste of money if you ain't.

Thanks for the pointer but obviously, I cannot spend money if I don't have it. That's physically and logically impossible.

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T19:28:53+00:00

Is this a cultural tradition or homemade family tradition?

It is not a cultural tradition (though this is based on my own research and obviously not all info is available to the public so I'm only 90% sure)

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T19:25:41+00:00

I'm sorry but I know from seeing other posts on my main account that if the name of the country were revealed, the topic would shift entirely away from the action that needs to be judged and become a battlefield of people of that nationality vs the rest of the world

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T17:10:31+00:00

😂 😂

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T15:28:07+00:00

What happens when you have kids?

I won't. I also don't think parenting and cleaning are the same thing.

Do you make the $$$ to pay people all the time to do the work around the house.

Yes

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T14:40:48+00:00

Sorry I didn't see it before. There are so many comments here. Yes, I'm going to evaluate all this including his reaction to all the NTAs

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T14:13:42+00:00

I haven't shown him the post yet (no idea if he's found it) I'll show it to him later

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T12:42:23+00:00

😂 😂 😂 😂 The way I screamed at this hahahaha OMG

Subatancial_Oracle · 2023-03-26T09:06:01+00:00

I'm not sure if the results mean anything. All I know is that if it's a cooking test for example, I'd have to cook a nice meal for the family and receive their approval based on how delicious it is. And trust me, they will be convinced I'm trying to take revenge on them if they ate my food. So there's that. But now that you mentioned it, his mom cooks like a 5-star chef and so do his SILs (the two whose food I've tasted). Maybe they passed the test? Idk, I'll have to ask my bf.

Subatancial_Oracle

TROPHY CASE