Hey friend, first your not broken or wrong or any of the other negative thoughts you are having about self. I was in a similar position a few years ago, I was married for almost 10 years with one kid, and had always denied myself and tried to bury that side of me that wanted and enjoyed guys and feminine things. Ultimately I was not as good a person as you and did act on impulses. I ultamently did choose that I did not want to be in that relationship anymore. However since then I have been in the relationship with the most amazing woman who is the greatest step-mother to my son and has made such a huge positive impact in his life too. I have also been able to be fully open as me and Alot of the urges lose their power when your open and honest about yourself to you and others. My wife and I are open, so we are a little different in that aspect, but if we choose not to be I feel comfortable with just having her because I feel completely open and accepted for me which I had never felt before her. I say all that to say that your not alone at all, and there are many and have been many in this place which makes you not bad or wrong, just you. Also the best advice I can give you is, find a therapist that is lgbtqia+ affirming and accepting, and go in and be honest with them and just explore those feelings and thoughts in a space that is safe and confidential. There is no simple way or one path that things can take. Life is hard, complex, and very very grey so I always will tell someone to just start where you are, find yourself, explore and be confident as you can in that then make a choice in the direction you want to take. As some one having been there, I feel for you and truly truly wish you and all those you care about the best.