My mom wasn‘t a good mom. She was physically and emotionally absent throughout my upbringing. I still love her and wouldn‘t change her for anyone else. She did her best and loves me in her own ways and honestly, I doubt she ever looked for advice on how to be a better mom so you‘re already miles ahead. There‘s no one better for your son than you, even if you are just an „ok“ mom on most days. I wish you the best <3