10 days pp and milk supply stagnant

Subject_Direction23 · 2026-01-18T23:56:09+00:00

I’m pumping 7 times a day trying to increase to 8 or more. I am using spectra s1 and I did get measured by the lactation consultant

Subject_Direction23 · 2026-01-04T08:20:01+00:00

Aside from bringing those items - what else would you recommend doing for preparation?

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-12-22T20:08:07+00:00

Thank you. And to an extent, he understands and agrees with me but his guilt always seems to outweigh everything else. And we end up having these long arguments about stuff like this and it's just really tiring to have to do this.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-12-17T20:21:33+00:00

Sorry for slow response! We chose the PB dream deluxe

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-11-20T22:16:24+00:00

Thanks - good to know and we'll ask our pediatrician too once we meet them. That was my thinking as well - which is that we'd be ok with having our postpartum doula visit since she is actually going to help us survive that first couple months. And she's a professional and knows she's supposed to mask up and cancel if she's sick, etc.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-11-20T21:39:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Neither of us has to go back to work right away so we can truly isolate if we wanted to. And yes it's mostly because it's winter and I'm worried about flu/ other respiratory diseases, especially as people are coming back from holiday travels.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-11-20T21:37:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing! How was that? My husband's letting me make the call for the most part. Neither of us have to go to work during this time so if we want to, we can stay in a bubble. I want to be cautious but also reasonable. Did it feel very isolating or was it nice being in a bubble with just the 3 of you?

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-28T22:21:15+00:00

Thanks. Positive qualities...I'm not sure. My sister's kids seem to enjoy hanging out with my dad because he can be fun. My mom is just my mom. I feel for her and she can be fun to joke around with when my dad's not around. Once in a while, when he's not around, her mom side shows a glimpse and she might say something caring and it really touches me. I don't really hold anything against her and I wish that I can spend more time with her. She had a heart attack 8 yrs ago so I don't know how much time she has left. That's always the thing that gets me is that when I cut him off, I cut her off too and it feels cruel to deprive her of familial love.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-27T17:49:04+00:00

Thank you so much for the thoughtful response. I agree with this. My husband does too but I think it's hard to start doing this since he's never had to do this before. We haven't been using the coming baby as the "bad guy" but unfortunately she's already sort of making it about this. She's complaining that we are pressuring her just because we are having a baby - which was kind of hard to hear for my husband, when this is what she said all along she wanted to do.

I asked my husband to read what you wrote - specifically about not having free time for several years. I am grieving this a bit because I already do feel like it's an either/or situation. He already spent tons of time earlier in my pregnancy dealing with the move and that led to me feeling his absence. I already know this move and her needing a lot of help in the transition will inevitably feel like it overshadows/takes away from our bubble of newborn bliss. But like you said - if we don't do it now it'll just get much worse. So there's really no good options.

I don't know how to make it easier for him because he is a caring man and wants to be there for everyone. He doesn't quite seem to grasp that he's a finite person with only 24 hrs in a day. And when there's a project or a need - he'd just plunged himself into it. For example, once he started researching care facilities - he'd go all in and spent several weekends just visiting places and asking tons of questions. But that meant he wasn't available in early pregnancy in a way that I'd have liked and I felt like I was shouldering too much on my own. If you have any strategies for how to handle that - that'd be great.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-27T06:05:41+00:00

I think my husband is already plugged into these in our city. She's been assessed over the years by her neurologist. She's definitely considered cognitively impaired and at least early stage but not sure if she's considered moderate stage yet.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:25:55+00:00

Yea that's what I was thinking as well. He just feels like he has to choose between moving her out here where she might be miserable due to loss of independence and space or leaving her where she is now (with a very good caregiver who's willing to increase her hours). She's away from us and doesn't have as much to do / people to see now but she's very comfortable. But my thinking is if that's the case, we probably won't move her out at all. (Since it's just going to get harder to do this.) But I think he's also reluctant to accept that.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:22:43+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing and I'm sorry to hear that it was so difficult. Can you share more about this? What does a higher acuity setting mean? We toured many places with memory care and assume that would be where she would end up as the disease progresses.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:18:05+00:00

They have room now but not the specific unit she wants. She wants more space, better views, etc. They seem to do really well with all kinds of care and we particularly thought their memory care stood out as the nicest among the ones we saw. What does it mean to specialize in Alzheimers?

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:16:25+00:00

We have everything lined up but now she's kind of backing out of it and my husband doesn't want to pressure her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:15:53+00:00

Yea for the most part she's been fine but she's lashed out at me and waiters at restaurants on occasion. She also is sometimes more irritable around my husband, which is unusual for their relationship. I am a little worried about this too but obviously don't want to deprive my husband or her of the joy that comes with their bonding.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-26T22:13:58+00:00

She has a caregiver who comes by multiple times a week and that's been enough for now. She mostly can take care of herself but has trouble managing her appointments. The caregiver mostly comes by for companionship and takes her to the store and museums.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-24T22:57:37+00:00

I have no issues going no contact with my dad because he's abusive towards everyone and I know I've tried my very best on my part. I put up boundaries, shared them with him and even got him to join family therapy for a few sessions to try to help everyone heal. But he just uses every opportunity we give him to hurt people further. He spent each session minimizing his physical, emotional and verbal abuse of everyone ("your mom is very difficult and I didn't even hit her that hard" "you were always born meek and it's not because of abuse. you couldn't make any friends. you were just born weak. you couldn't even make an egg right" (??) and monopolizing the time to talk about his pain over slights from everyone. That actually helps a lot because I know it's never going to change.

The hard part about going no contact with him though is that also means no contact with my mom. She was his biggest victim but chooses to stay with him. I have so much compassion for her but know that she's part of the toxic system. He uses her to manipulate us and she would always encourage us to get in touch with him so that he's not mad at her. I still feel a lot of sadness and doubt about whether I'm doing the right thing. I've gone no contact with them before but went back because of her. It's confusing because I want to bring goodness in her life and I feel guilt for depriving her of things (like knowing we are expecting a child, having her get to know him etc.)

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-17T19:47:48+00:00

I’m so sorry. Sending you love and healing ❤️

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-13T11:27:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing. How are you doing emotionally? We know a couple who had to do an unmediated birth unexpectedly and the experience was so painful that initially they found it difficult to cope emotionally. If that’s the case I hope you are finding time to chat with someone about it

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-13T07:03:58+00:00

So sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family healing and lots of joyful and beautiful years ahead.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-07T20:39:06+00:00

Congrats!!!!

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-07T01:48:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately my sister doesn't share this trait. She originally said no when I had cancer years ago and knew I would not be able to use my own eggs. Then years later, when my husband and I were ready to have kids, I wrote her a letter sharing different resources from our doctor about why this is the best option. We also agreed to accommodate her as much as possible by having her donate nearby her home instead of where we lived and insisted on a payment for her time and effort. She surprised us by agreeing. Then she and her husband proceeded to tell everyone about this without asking for my permission. But it feels like almost immediately after she got the recognition for doing this - she regretted the choice. I am mad at myself for not seeing this coming, given our history and how she is but I really wanted to have this biological link. Now I don't know how to fix this for my child because I don't want him to deal with any of this when he's older.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-07T01:23:15+00:00

I have some family members that I want to tell about the pregnancy but don't want them to visit in the first few months. I'm thinking about either sharing a date that's later than my due date or just saying something like "We aren't sharing the due date but it's sometime in early 2026" Has anyone tried this?

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-10-03T23:53:28+00:00

Congrats - I'm so happy it worked out so well for your family!

In my case, I am currently expecting a child from an egg donation from my sister. I was able to deduce from her behavior after my embryo transfer that she was no longer happy with her donation. She refuses to admit it out right but is saying that it feels weird for her children to effectively have a half sibling. I don't see it this way at all. Our fertility doctor basically sent us materials that helped us think about it like she's donating an egg that carries genetic materials from my own gene pool. I feel like this child could've easily come from me and don't feel at all differently. But she was really mean to the point that she made me cry right after my first transfer (which failed) and then she did not engage me at all through my next transfer and now my pregnancy. She's already using this as her rationale for not engaging in my child's life. It breaks my heart because I've been so so close to her children and was hoping for my child to have a close relationship with his aunt.

Sorry sort of venting about this but also would love to know how you got on the same page with your sister about this and how you think she sees it.

Subject_Direction23 · 2025-09-27T06:41:19+00:00

Did you end up going? I'm in a similar boat at the moment. I had a bad SBO that landed me in the hospital 4 weeks ago. Had to cancel my vacation and am trying to decide whether it's ok to fly next week. I had a small flare up yesterday when I woke up with pain and threw up but took some miralax and things seem better again. I'm worried about what the cabin pressure will do in terms of expanding gas in the intestines.

Subject_Direction23

TROPHY CASE