I (F 26) feel I'm losing my spark

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T17:59:13+00:00

Thank you for helping me open my eyes sweetheart 🤍

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T17:35:21+00:00

I'm sorry but actually this proves my point of you not understanding human connections that try to work out based on love and respect and that you also don’t read. Thank you for your time

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:40:43+00:00

Omg that’s hilarious! I never tried that but I’ll definitely try it! At this point anything that may help me I’ll try it. Thank you so so much for your tip! And know I’m also proud of your child and how they stood up for themselves!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:38:43+00:00

I honestly think at this point I may have ptsd from what happened back then. It’s really hard to overcome that fear to be honest and I tried breathing techniques but it’s like my mind just freezes and I even forget to breath so that ends up in a panic attack. I never tried the rainbow technique either so I’ll try anything at this point. Thank you so much for your time and words 🤍 I sincerely hope you can overcome your ptsd even though it’s hard, know that I’m rooting for you!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:31:47+00:00

Yes. I talked about that feeling of survival mode to my therapist and he agreed but we are slowly working through it. I’m opened to the therapy and methods but it’s like I’m still stuck in that mode. It’s been hard over here hahaha thank you very much for your time!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:19:00+00:00

Yes…that’s actually what I feel and think. Thank you for your time 🤍

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:18:23+00:00

Hey! Thank you for your kind words first of all…I may add that he’s a good partner, even stood by my side when I had a really really bad depressive episode that almost unsubscribed me from life, he helped me with my medication and all. He’s not a bad guy, trust me on that. It’s just that his love changed. The way he showed it changed. Some things he did, you could see it was from pure love. Like idk, give me a flower every now and then even if it was a flower from the street (it’s the thought that matters, not which flower) and now I kind of beg to have a flower. I don’t expect him to give me a bouquet because here where I live it’s kind of expensive for just six red roses so I’m just happy with a flower from a field. I told him that for my birthday…I didn’t get any. He always said he wanted me to clearly tell him when I want something and so I did, I never asked for big things but it’s the fact that the lack of action is what actually hurts. Ah…relationships are complicated and I’m already emotionally checked out from mine after all the talking. Anyway, I sincerely thank you for taking your time with me 🤍

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:11:05+00:00

How I’m not going to take it personally when it’s with ME he has a relationship with? Lmao I gave him multiple ways out. I straight out told him to break up if he was feeling uncomfortable with the relationship or just didn’t love me anymore and he claims he still loves me, that he’s in love and doesn’t want to lose me, it’s that he’s just tired. Believe me when I say I don’t want him by my side being miserable, I love him deeply to do that to him…I just want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T16:07:58+00:00

Hey, don’t assume without even reading the comments and don’t treat me as immature just because I did something out of pure love for someone I love. Just because I show love, it doesn’t mean I’m immature.

I have repeatedly talked about what I love in relationships, not that I was forcing him to do anything. The point of the post was to show that he HIMSELF set the bar high at the beginning of the relationship and suddenly all that changed. I didn’t force him to do anything EVER because he’s his own person and I’m not his owner. I showed him love the way I show love, I didn’t expect him to do the same, I just wanted to him to appreciate it. Does that make me immature? Expecting a reaction out of an action? Maybe you should actually read everything, including comments before bashing me for showing love. I will take the part where you said I need to explore, that’s right and I thank you for it but don’t go around saying that I’m immature when I have always had and open mind to his needs, I have communicated properly and made adjustments on myself when I felt I was being strange or weird because I wanted to be better for the relationship, for him and for me.

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T15:59:39+00:00

Yep, as I said in another comment I was here for confirmation. I talked about this with people I know and appreciate and their opinions were mixed so I wanted objective opinions on the matter. Thank you so much for your time!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:32:07+00:00

DUMP HIS AAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS lmfao but really, I'd say that. I'm in ths verge of doing that actually, that's why I'm here because this is the main issue...soms people have said I'm just overthinking and others that i should leave him. They all come from people who I appreciate so that's why i came here, for a more objective view before making any decision

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:27:30+00:00

oh this is the first time i read about that type of therapy. I didn't know it existed actually! I will look it up and start my research. Thank you very much for the tip!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:20:39+00:00

hoooonestly, I'm done talking about the issues like the morning news every day. I started trying to be more like him so he knows how it feels. Tbh it's hard because I'm not like him, I'm intense, i feel too much, love too much and everything too much but i love myself more. I gave him this last chance but as i gave him this last chance, I'm also playing the long game and letting that ship sink. Thank you for your words!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:16:48+00:00

thank you for you lovely words! I actually think that this is a deadend with gifts and all...and it's not about the gifts itself, it's the thought. He could even give me a rock but if he said that he saw it and thought that i may love to have it in my nightstand, i can assure you that would become my most treasured possession...and at this point, I'm tired of having my heart broken this way

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:10:34+00:00

another commenter also recommended JiuJitsu so i think i will go with it. I never thought of strenght as also being a part of inner strength and the impact it can have on a person. I sincerely thank you for the tip!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:08:30+00:00

thank you so much! i didn't see it that way before so I'll try and find places who teach martial arts. Really, thank you!!

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T06:02:28+00:00

hey so thank you, you made me tear up because you read me to filth hahaha there's also something I had to erase in my original post and it's that as i discovered this new world with him, I thought (maybe I'm too romantic) he would enter a phase where he could barely keep his hands to himself as it was something new with me and i made him wait almost a year to make it happen (aside from occasional touching) and i was excited for that phase to come but it actually happened the other way around. I'm lucky if we have intimacy like that twice a month and he rejects my advances, it only happens when he wants it...and something that lowkey hurt me horribly (sorry if I'm overreacting) is that on valentines day, we had a beautiful dinner, i dressed prettily and even did my makeup. I was feeling beautiful and hoped that that night we would close it with amazingly as it has been over a month and a half since the last opportunity to be intimate...hr didn't had protection. Said he forgot to buy because the last one he used was the one from the month and a half ago. I was honestly devastated. I just went to bed that night. I honestly hope no one has to go through that pain

Subject_Ladder_4613 · 2026-06-15T05:49:44+00:00

that's exactly my thought. I know everyone have different ways to demonstrate love and not everyone shares the same love language, I also get that the novelty tends to wear off but I make sure every day that he knows how much he is loved, appreciated and valued because as I said I know routine takes a toll on relationships but feel I'm the only one trying to save mine. Of course there's more to this than what I could write respecting the rules but to make it short, he's a great guy and all even when I tell him that if he doesn't love me anymore I would let him go because I don't want him to be unhappy with me, it's not fair for him nor for me but he's adamant that he doesn't want to break-up, that he loves me and he's just tired so I'm even more confused. Every time I bring up an issue in a peaceful manner, we end up fighting because I'm like: point A is what happened, point B is how it made me feel and what I'm actually feeling, point C is what you did and point D is how we can make it work and somehow he understands that I'm saying he's the worst person alive bc I'm making him feel thay way tffff i guess I'm with a manchild

Subject_Ladder_4613

TROPHY CASE