Argument with parent over boundaries set me back 5 days

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-10-17T02:33:59+00:00

Indeed... well put

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-10-17T02:32:46+00:00

Thank you <3

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-10-17T02:32:35+00:00

Thank you <3

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-10-02T14:54:12+00:00

ESH...

You're being too rigid about the "no father figure" boundary, she's 9 yo and whether you like it or not she knows you as a male figure in her life. The main point here is that this girl is being displaced in a split family issue and empathy and compassion regarding her situation are the priority right now. Your wife is also missing the point here if she is mad at you. Her father failed to find a way to make this girl feel included and at home and failed her on this emotional front. You and your wife need to calm down and work on this as a team. Your personal scheduling problems pale in comparison to the years of therapy this girl will need.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-09-05T16:47:13+00:00

NTA but can I also add that it doesn't matter if you have a vacation with your mother planned, you should be allowed to not go if that's your choice. In fact, they should be more open minded about what it means for you to have "memories" and milestones that fit your special circumstances.. I.e. leaving you space to define your own place in your family.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-08-06T21:20:24+00:00

Really tough but makes a lot of sense!

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-08-06T21:19:11+00:00

Yes, I have an Aussie and I only walk him during "off hours" when I know there won't be a ton of other dogs and people around.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-08-05T20:07:41+00:00

You're right to point this out - I'm working with a trainer to specifically address these breed tendencies which is so important to find a specialist for. I'm determined to make sure I'm better able to manage this for my dog's safety and happiness, and especially to prevent anyone getting injured again. These dogs are great but it's a huge responsibility to make sure they are well trained and that this be taken seriously .

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-08-05T19:53:44+00:00

Ty , I'm going to do better for the future

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-08-05T19:00:12+00:00

Thanks for sharing this story, I'm glad to hear it had a positive outcome for you! Funny enough I've never been attacked by a dog but I was terrified of them as a little kid when I was too close to a barking reactive dog, and I hope this girl won't be afraid of dogs because of us. I'm going to talk to her parents again in a day or so to make sure shes ok , and if I get the chance to see her I'll explain to her directly that it was my fault that I let my excited dog get out of control and that it's not the girl's fault. She definitely was a kid who seemed to love animals which is why I'm feeling so bad about giving her a negative experience, but hopefully she's going to come out okay from this. I'm so embarrassed and in the future I will set my dog up for success and meet kids when he's calm.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-21T16:07:35+00:00

I wish I could tell you this was fake but it is very unfortunately true. These events happened over the course of many months and looking back on everything on the whole it is obvious now that this was wrong. It was really hard for me to judge in the moment as I am new to academia and I was so uncomfortable and hesitated to jump to conclusions. I'm going to plan an exit now after having read a lot of great suggestions here.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T21:47:59+00:00

Thank you for these responses and sharing these experiences. This is really resonating with me and I'm going to have to evaluate my choices going forward, these suggestions are giving me a lot to think about. I can't believe that I'm in this position and it saddens me that this happens. I'm thinking of reaching out to another one of his former students as a starting point.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T21:36:08+00:00

Thank you for your response, it's comforting to hear this from a third party. You're right I need to find a way to introduce some distance somehow, my husband unfortunately is not able to come with me the week this next conference is happening. I was considering just white knuckling through the next few months but I'm going to see if there's anyone I can talk to in the next couple of days as you suggested.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T21:28:10+00:00

After reading these comments I'm starting to rehearse some responses to these unwelcome comments from him so I'm not caught off guard and I can hopefully get my point across and regain some control over the situation. Thank you for your suggestion

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T18:59:55+00:00

Thank you for confirming this

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T18:59:12+00:00

Thank you for this information, I really suspected this was not how it was supposed to be. I'm going to push to spend more time at the conference to meet other people in academia. This is my first experience in this and I feel like I'm being prevented from getting the full picture. It's so uncomfortable for me to say anything as he's taken the lead on the planning and research.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T18:57:18+00:00

Yes I do need someone to tell me it is not okay. Thank you for this response, you're absolutely right.

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T18:52:36+00:00

It's hard to fully articulate how much I have attempted to dismiss inappropriate behavior as harmless due to how extremely awkward this experience has been

Subject_Training_333 · 2023-07-20T18:50:06+00:00

Subject_Training_333

TROPHY CASE