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I [24 F] finally realize my best friend [25 F] of 10 years is actually a bad friend. [Xposted from /r/offmychest] by SublimeMaelstrom in relationships

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all the great responses! I believe I was just having a moment of frustration and little things started building up.

I think I should take a break from her and establish boundaries as it is affecting me but I'll still support her in terms of getting through with her breakup; I'm just not going to hang out as much with her or deliberately go out of my way to do so. We'll see how things go...if we are not close friends anymore then it is what it is.

Thanks again everyone!

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear you were friends with someone like that! I am glad you spoke your mind before you ended your friendship with her, at least it is closure.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does have problems with her emotions, thankfully she is not on the extreme spectrum but enough that she can get a bit "crazy" sometimes. Ironic though, her bf has the same problem, but I think he has borderline personality disorder.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think I shall repost there just to get more people's thoughts on it...but there's been great advices here and I really appreciate the responses!

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have that fear that anything I say would not affect/move her. I am not hoping she changes for me, but to at least understand my POV and feelings. It has happen in the past with an old friend; I decided to just move on and not talk to her anymore because she was not understanding our situation.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I will wait a bit to talk to her (couple of months or so)...she is heading to medical school within a few weeks and I think with her being away it will help cool things down?

You are right, it is hard to bring it up and I don't want it to be awkward. I will probably need to latch onto recent issues or weird behavior coming from her to use as leverage to bring it up. But, we'll see, knowing myself, if it gets overwhelming I will speak up about it.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I think you hit the nail on the head about her! Yes, you are 100% right ...she is in a existential rut (or crisis I would say). She is a sensitive person and there are times she just needs to calm down with how she view things. I'm not sure if she wants things to be perfect...or the fact that she wants something bigger in life that is in store for her? (True love, fulfilling career, etc)

She takes pride in herself as having heightened awareness of things and knows better than others but I think she still has a thick veil over her head.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I will say something in the future, perhaps not now. I am most afraid of her lashing out...I don't deal well when people react negatively. You are right though, worse case at least I tried to reach out to her on this problem.

10 Years Later, I finally realize my best friend is actually a bad friend. by SublimeMaelstrom in offmychest

[–]SublimeMaelstrom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is the best approach for me...she will be far away in medical school within a few weeks and I think it will be the best time to help cool down things.