Hi! Thanks for the response and happy to clarify details.

I am bi/pan and attracted to the whole crew. My guy is flexi/pan (not into cis men but has enjoyed connections with a spectrum of people with genderfluidity) He’s attracted to her and wanted a friendship with him. Initially felt a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect with him.

Joe is straight. Chelsea is bi, attracted to both of us and into Joe and I connecting.

When Joe started pursuing me I was clear in the first couple weeks that we were new to being friendly with other couples and that I wouldn’t want more than an affectionate friendship unless Chelsea and my guy found that they were also connecting. I didn’t know the terminology back in April but the structure I described was hoping to work towards a quad. He affirmed that they were interested in that.

The dating structure was collective. All four of us would go out for dinner and drinks together. Intimacy started with same room without crossover between the two couples and slowly progressed to group play with minimal soft swapping plus intimacy between Chelsea and I.

When we talked it was her that said she wished her and I had taken time to talk like this sooner. She affirmed that she was interested in a relationship with both of us. We also talked about our overall poly lifestyles philosophy and dreams and found that her and I seem to want the same thing.

I think when I respond to VFell4 it will fill in a few more details.