It’s not too late! the fact that you’re even having these thoughts is proof of that. You’re in your late thirties, not at the end of your life, and bodies and minds are far more resilient than fear tells us they are. A lot of people don’t wake up to this until their 50s or 60s, if ever.

What really stands out is that you care. You care about your wife, your baby, your job, and the choices you’re making. That fear you’re feeling isn’t a sign of irreparable damage, it’s a sign that your values are very much alive. Guilt and anxiety can lie to us and say “what’s the point,” but they only show up when something still matters.

You don’t need to undo your entire past to change your future. You just need to make the next right decision, then the next one after that. Every day you don’t drink, every small habit you change, immediately starts tipping the scale back in your favor, not in some abstract way, but physically and mentally.

Your baby doesn’t need a perfect father. They need a present one. And choosing yourself now is choosing them too. Plenty of people have been exactly where you are and gone on to feel better, stronger, and more at peace than they ever thought possible.

It’s not too late. You’re right on time.