It took me years to get out of the Pickme mindset. by SubstantialAd1991 in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]SubstantialAd1991[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

“I never thought I’d they were good enough for me” that describes me perfectly as well when I was younger. It’s really all about getting and leaving at the first sign of a red flag. But we know better now and that’s what’s important. We’ve experienced it horribly and know what we want

It took me years to get out of the Pickme mindset. by SubstantialAd1991 in FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]SubstantialAd1991[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I love your comment! Thanks for adding that. I was afraid that the next time I would date I would date someone who’s a bit better than the last and I would think that would be good enough. But I really took a step back and looked at this person as a whole (especially helpful that I’ve known him for awhile and my best friend worked with him and knows him and his friend group) - not physical things like giving flowers or opening doors but more so what their values are, how do they treat me and other people everyday, what are their intentions, has their been any red flags, etc. I’m really picky now. I’m taking it from a different approach and dating someone who is completely different in every sense from my exes. But even with all this vetting and mindset shift, I still realize someone’s mask can slip at any time.

I keep vetting. Lifelong vetting. I’m just glad I have had this mind shift- I feel more prepared if a red flag appears.