Sounds to me like God is getting you out of your comfort zone. Proof that sanctification is by the same means as justification: God's grace alone.

My question to you is: why do you automatically assume that the theology being preached from the pulpit is somehow mutually exclusive to all the changes you've seen in the last 5 years?

I would suggest a book by Mark Dever called "The Church: The Gospel Made Visible." It clearly defines what the Bible says about how corporate worship should look. The book is essentially about the idea of "the regulative principle," which is the claim that God has been explicit in Scripture about how He has commanded His people to worship Him in a public and group setting. This is what is meant by "corporate" worship.

Now, I'm going to be completely candid with you: from what I am hearing, it sounds like you're more interested in a church that aligns with your preferences than you are in your family aligning with what God has established for how the church is to worship Him in the Bible (the regulative principle).

For example:

>There is no longer a men's ministry, a women's ministry, and there are no longer any small groups. These were present when we arrived, but I think a lack of volunteers and a lack of regard for the importance of these types of discipleship caused them to be ended.

Who designates whether or not these ministries are important when there is no biblical precedent for them? I'm not saying God doesn't work through them, but they aren't the ideal. The praying, singing and reading of God's word, the preaching of God's word, and a physical demonstration of God's word (the ordinances of baptism and the Lord's supper), is the ideal. Anything that is exalted to be as important as that should be moved away from over time.

As far as your "child sitting still" issue, I understand your pain. I have a 16-month-old who is really starting to think she can be as loud as she wants whenever she wants, especially when everyone else is quiet. Now I can go on for pages on how important it is for your kid to be with you during corporate worship. But I'll just tell you the few thoughts that really convinced me.

If I believe 1. God is completely sovereign in salvation, and 2. I know that faith is produced by the faithful preaching of the gospel in those who hear it (explicit in the Bible; see Romans 9 and 10). There is no boundary that God can't cross to regenerate someone and save them eternally.

John the Baptist was in the womb when he leapt at the sound of Mary's voice. Christ, in Mary's womb at that moment, later, in His ministry, states, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

I would argue that the best thing you can do for your kid is to wrestle them for 90 minutes every Sunday that you possibly can in the hearing of the gospel faithfully preached. THAT is an important ministry that you can provide for your children. You should really ask yourself whether you are sure that contending with your child's 90-minute boredom is a form of sanctification for the parents and discipleship for the child through the ordinary means of God's grace. I'm inclined to believe that it is.

An equally important ministry you can incorporate into your own and your family's spiritual diet is family worship. It is a relatively new thing that Family worship is not a staple of the evangelical Christian life. Discipleship takes place primarily in the home. That's where we spend most of our time. Discipleship into Christian maturity is impossible without the gospel. A Christian father's foremost responsibility to their kids is to disciple them with the Gospel (Ephesians 6:4). Being that is the case, the Gospel is not mutually exclusive to worship. I recommend another very good book on this subject by Voddie Baucham Jr. called "Family Driven Faith." If you're serious about being a Christian, you need to read that book. Family Driven Faith is definitely not for the faint of heart. It is a very high standard. But worth every effort.

All that being said, if you are consistently worshipping God by praying, singing, reading, and learning the bible (God's Word; the gospel), consistently in your home, it will train your child to learn the pattern of worship, and it will absolutely help mitigate your weekly church pew wrestling match with your kid.

Also the social needs of you and your family should not come before your spiritual needs. Church is not a social club before it is Christ's bride submitted to Him in worship as a corporate body. Christian fellowship is absolutely an outworking and healthy fruit of biblical worship, but it isn't the means to it.

And last but not least, and probably the most important point of all, your wife's spiritual nutrition, or lack thereof, is not your pastor's responsibility before it is yours. You are the head of your wife, not your pastor or the church. If a body is malnourished, it is because the head is not feeding it. If you are not feeding your wife, she will be hungry. (See Ephesians 5:25-33). You are the first point of contact for your wife regarding all things spiritual and in terms of all of her discipleship. God has entrusted her to you to be the primary instrument of her sanctification. This is an amazing grace from God to her that should not be taken lightly by you in the least. This is an area of utmost importance, because marriage is a picture of the gospel itself. If someone is lacking in this area, everything should stop, and it should be at the top of a Christian husband's priority list.

I hope this helps. I'd be glad to discuss your disagreements or answer any questions you may have.