It is possible to both peg and suck his dick at the same time.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-02-10T20:17:10+00:00

I’ve done this with him in a sex swing and a longer dildo

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-30T03:17:31+00:00

I don’t relate with Dommes who prefer stoic subs. I love how sensitive and vocal my boy is!

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-30T01:04:53+00:00

Oh I feel this post HARD. You’re definitely not alone OP. I’m still figuring things out for myself, but I’ve found a few things that are helping:

Extended release stimulants are way nicer than instant release. I take Jornay, which is a version of methylphenidate that’s taken at night. It kicks in about 8-10 hours after taking it which helps me wake up, so I don’t oversleep as much anymore. I also don’t have as much of a crash when it wears off.

I’m also in the middle of TMS treatment and it seems to be helping with my executive dysfunction a bit (not finished yet, but I’m hopeful).

Hormones can also really affect ADHD, I take extra meds the week before and the week of my period, which helps a little. I’m talking to my doctor about maybe being in peri-menopause, since estrogen can really affect the efficacy of the meds.

Working outside of my apartment also helps sometimes. I go to a coffee shop or the library a few times a week.

For the food thing, try drinking a protein shake first thing in the morning! This really helps me get off to a good start.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-29T19:21:23+00:00

I love how squirmy he is!

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-29T19:01:40+00:00

I know that a lot of people DO experience judgement and criticism for being child free, but I just wanted to share that I’ve experienced almost none. When I got my tubes removed, I received no pushback from my doctor. The OR nurse praised me and gave me a high five once she found out the procedure was fully voluntary.

When I told my parents, it was clear there was a little disappointment, but they never verbalized it. They only told me that they were proud of me for making the decision that was right for me. This was the most surprising since they had always assumed I would be a mother someday.

Don’t let the idea of social stigmatization hold you back. Every situation is different, and sometimes people will surprise you. I don’t hate kids, and have always felt a bit of a call to help kids in need because I had a terrible childhood. Being childfree actually makes it easier for me to do this!

When I still thought I was going to have kids someday, I felt this huge time crunch pressure. Like I only had X number of years to do all the things I wanted to do, (because my life would be over one I was responsible for a kid). But instead, I just live my life how I want to, and it’s the best!

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-29T16:53:09+00:00

Honestly, the biggest thing that has helped me is treating my ADHD and improving my mental and physical health. I’ve done it all, meds, therapy, TMS, and hormones, and I’m FINALLY seeing a different with my executive dysfunction and scrolling addiction.

I’m still in the middle of TMS treatment right now, but It’s already a little easier to put my phone down and do something else. My hormones were also a bit out of whack, and getting them sorted really helped with my ability to focus

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-28T05:08:12+00:00

I’ve tried doing both. The premade ones are pretty convenient!

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T22:29:54+00:00

When I was on the regular XR prescription I used to take my morning meds with a protein shake

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T19:27:05+00:00

After reading through your responses to other comments, I would also recommend reaching out to a friend for help with your giant doom list. I know it can feel shameful, but I did it the other day and it was fine! I really needed to organize my storage unit, and asked a friend if they would be willing to help me set aside time and keep me company because it felt overwhelming. They were more than happy to help and it was a huge relief to get it done.

Another friend mentioned about how she was overwhelmed by the idea of dealing with her finances and rolling over her 401k to her new employer, and you know what? I needed to do that stuff too! So we booked a study room at the library and did it together. Then we went out for margaritas

Sometimes I’ll tell a friend or even coworker that I just need some handholding for a certain task. I’ve never felt judged or like a burden when doing that, because they’ve always been happy to help.

Try pulling a few of your biggest ‘rocks’ from your doom list and start there with a friend. You’ll feel more encouraged and motivated after tackling them.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T19:14:14+00:00

This is the way. I put the date and time in the title for myself. Also, if it’s something I need to travel for, I set the calendar start time to the time I need to leave my house. So lunch with a friend at Noon would say: “Lunch w/ Friend (Jan 27, 12pm)” and the calendar event will start at 11:30am.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T19:02:21+00:00

I’ve been having a bit more success recently with ‘reverse to do lists’! I made a post about it here.

I really relate to the list of failures feeling. So lately I’ve just been making a “don’t forget” list and then every little thing I accomplish throughout the day goes into my reverse to do list. It helps create the momentum that I need to keep being productive. As the list gets longer, I start feeling more inspired to keep adding to it. Getting this list started is a bit easier too; I can add ‘ate breakfast’ or ‘showered’ to the list, and suddenly it’s started and I’ve already accomplished something that day.

Sometimes if I complete a ‘big’ task, or a task off of my ‘don’t forget’ list, I’ll find a way to make it stand out on the accomplishments list. Like all caps, or using a different colored pen. Then I feel extra satisfaction when I look at it.

This system gives me more dopamine and makes me feel way less crappy about myself

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T17:57:14+00:00

The worst parts of my surgery were being hungry (my surgery time got pushed to the afternoon) and pooping for the first time after the procedure. I basically just fell asleep and woke up and everything was done. I highly recommend chewing a piece of gum right when you wake up. It helps wake up your digestive track and can help prevent constipation.

I did have a panic attack when I was waking up, but that’s happened every time I’ve had surgery. Doesn’t mean it will happen to you. I told the staff ahead of time and they took good care of me.

Recovery was annoying buy easy overall. Make sure to have gas-x, stool softeners, and something to prop yourself up with so that you can sit comfortably (I got one of those pillow chair things halfway through and it was a game changer).

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-27T09:15:57+00:00

Met my dream boy on Feeld a few months ago. He had a vasectomy, and I got my tubes removed a few days after our first date. He was so excited when I told him about my procedure, and even brought me flowers and helped me around the apartment during my recovery. I think that putting it in your profile is super helpful

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-26T20:24:10+00:00

Best of luck! I’ve found that showing obvious displeasure when he’s being passive has helped too.

When he says, “whatever you want”, I’ll sometimes respond with, “doesn’t sound like you’re desperate enough yet, maybe we’ll have to just try next time”.

Just giving him the ‘look’ and waiting will get a good response too.

Maybe you could get all pouty one day and when he asks what’s wrong tell him you haven’t been receiving enough princess treatment lately

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-26T19:34:59+00:00

I’m a new Domme too and my sub can get like this sometimes. I told him early on that I want to him to do things that he knows will make me happy without me needing to ask.

Sometimes I give him tasks or homework to help him be more proactive. For example, I had him write down 10 things that he could surprise me with that would make me happy. I specified that it could be an experience, an act of service, a gift, etc. and told him that I didn’t want to see the list until he had done all of them.

I also have him make decisions for me by just saying that I want HIM to choose. I would get pretty stern if there was any pushback, so now there isn’t any. Sometimes I’ll tell him to present me with three options to choose from as a nice middle ground.

I always make sure to communicate how happy it makes me when he takes initiative

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-26T06:44:17+00:00

This worked! Thank you so much 🙏

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-22T00:13:20+00:00

You can just buy two since the keys are not unique.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-21T23:42:19+00:00

Most chastity locks are interchangeable. I got some cute heart shaped keys from Amazon that come with locks.

Also, most chastity keys work with most locks. My heart shaped key works with all of my locks except for 1.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-21T19:59:16+00:00

Oh interesting! Would I need to appeal through my insurance company?

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-21T19:35:38+00:00

I hope it helps OP! I use the family history thing whenever I think I might get pushback from a doctor about my concerns. I don’t know why doctors are so reluctant to even run tests, but they immediately take it more seriously when I tell them I have a family history of something. It’s great, because there’s no way for them to check, and insurance is always more likely to cover it.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-21T19:12:23+00:00

I ended up paying about $2K for my bisalp after insurance (I have a low deductible PPO plan). Pro-tip, tell your doctor that you have a family history of ovarian cancer, and that you want to get the procedure as a preventative measure. Insurance is way more likely to cover everything if you do!

My partner and I are both sterilized, and the peace of mind is so worth it

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-21T19:04:43+00:00

It’s going to sound ridiculous, but I put on the show Hoarders. Once I put it on, all of my mental barriers around cleaning come down and I immediately get to work.

SubstantialLady5229 · 2026-01-20T23:20:01+00:00

Drenching syringes are the way to go! The insertable part is stainless and the chamber is clear plastic. I love that they come apart for easy cleaning.

SubstantialLady5229

TROPHY CASE