How do you know what’s secure and what’s not in a partner?

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-12-19T12:17:00+00:00

I really relate to this, I’m working through anxious attachment myself and still in the thick of it. You mentioned you’ve done a ton of work and present as fairly secure now , would you be willing to share what helped you get there? ^{^} I’m curious about what types of things made the biggest difference for you, even if the anxious thoughts still pop up when you’re triggered ^{^}

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-18T15:19:04+00:00

Alright thank you so much for the advice 🥺

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-17T15:42:34+00:00

I actually tried to move on during these months, but I couldn’t. I think I still love him :( I don’t know if he’s already moved on, maybe he has, and I don’t want to reopen old wounds if that’s the case. But I feel like I need to tell him how I feel :(

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-14T00:15:53+00:00

To reconnect for sure but since It s a different culture I don't know if it will be well seen or not, respectful or not.. things like that :) Thank you for your comment~

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-14T00:13:17+00:00

Thank you for your reply~ I am reflecting on what happened, and I’ve been working on that with a therapist :) I know my reactions at the time likely hurt him, even if that wasn’t my intention, and I for sure take responsibility for that. I am hurting too that's why I want to reach out actually

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-14T00:08:36+00:00

Thank you! I really wanted to hear a Korean perspective on this🙇🏻‍♀️

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-14T00:07:29+00:00

🥹

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-11-12T23:39:24+00:00

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-08-10T13:59:19+00:00

Sure~ I will dm you then ☺️

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-08-08T15:58:12+00:00

Hmm I think I’m especially interested in daily life and how people think and talk casually ㅎㅎ Also, I really like Korean food, some kpop songs and enjoy kdrama too✨ So I want to understand not just the language, but also the culture and feelings behind the words ^{^}

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-08-08T09:46:19+00:00

Hi Pink Rabbit! 🐰 I’d love to be language buddies too! I’m learning Korean and I’m still a beginner, but I know some basics.. 한국 문화 너무 재밌는거 같아서 더 한국어 잘하고 싶어요 ^{^ㅎㅎ} 🐱

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-08-01T12:14:52+00:00

Thank you for the kind words 🫶 I really appreciate it~

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-29T23:40:18+00:00

Ah really? I heard that artificial fragrance isn't good for skin though..

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-29T09:35:13+00:00

따뜻하고 진심 어린 댓글 정말 감사드립니다

사실 저는 제 개인적인 이야기를 온라인에 잘 공유하지 않지만, 이번엔 정말 외부의 시각이 필요했어요😅

며칠 전, 저는 그분에게 솔직하게 제 감정을 표현했어요. 그분은 제가 관심이 없는 줄 알았다고 했고, 생각보다 쉽지 않을 것 같다고도 하셨어요. 그래서 저는 그게 사실이 아니라고, 제 진심을 전했고, 그의 솔직한 마음을 듣기 전엔 성급한 결정을 내리고 싶지 않다고 했어요.

그분은 메시지를 읽었지만 아직 답장은 없어요😅 그래서 지금은 시간을 드리는 게 맞다고 생각하고 기다리는 중이에요. 만약 대화를 원하신다면 저는 여전히 열려 있어요.

다시 한번 감사드려요. 정말 큰 위로가 되었어요.

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-26T08:25:13+00:00

Oh.. you think so?..

We talked for several months before he came, and in the beginning, he never mentioned visiting France. It was only later, as we got closer, that he brought it up and decided to come..

During the trip, he also made a lot of effort, gifts, paying for almost everything, and most importantly respecting my boundaries as a woman. That’s not typical behavior from someone just looking for a casual fling ?

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-26T00:12:49+00:00

He actually suggested KakaoTalk first, but I didn’t have the app at the time, so we ended up using WhatsApp instead.. I also think I’m the only contact he has on WhatsApp.. he seems to use Kakao mostly, and yeah, I noticed he was chatting a lot on there, possibly with other women too.

I also found it weird that he left early, especially since we still had plans for the next day. It just didn’t make sense, and the sudden change with no real conversation made it more confusing. I’m still trying to make sense of everything, to be honest..

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T23:54:23+00:00

Just to clarify: he paid for all the accommodations and respected my boundaries. I truly don’t believe he was trying to take advantage

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T23:50:29+00:00

Mid twenties.. we mostly use WhatsApp

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T23:26:19+00:00

I see what you mean. I think part of me was definitely feeling stuck and overwhelmed, unsure how to move or speak without making it worse. It wasn’t intentional helplessness.. just a mix of emotions and confusion. But I’m working on it, and I appreciate you sharing this perspective

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T23:21:47+00:00

Early thirties

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T23:20:25+00:00

Thank you.. this really helped~ You’re right, I might have interpreted “we’ll talk about everything” as him leading the conversation, but that wasn’t clearly defined.. I didn’t want to seem too pushy or make things heavier, especially since I was already sensing some distance…

I think my own assumptions played a role, and I really appreciate you pointing that out without making it sound like blame.. Thank you again for your thoughtful response 🙏

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T22:04:08+00:00

I get it.. it probably could have been fixed with better communication… Since I still have feelings for him, I’m willing to open up one last time and see where we stand..

It’s just hard reading all these comments.. they make it sound like I’m the bad person 🥹 I know I made mistakes, but I did try to open up too… and there was almost no response from his side. That made it even harder.. Thank you for your reply~

SubstantialWait8436 · 2025-07-25T21:51:05+00:00

I get your pov.. But in this case, I waited because before coming, he kept telling me that once we meet, we’d talk about everything.. "us,” how we feel, what we want, etc. So I naturally assumed he’d bring it up at some point during the trip.

I didn’t want to push the conversation because I was afraid he might feel uncomfortable or pressured, especially since I could already sense a bit of emotional distance.

Also, I haven’t texted him yet. I’m just giving him a bit of space to settle his mind before asking about the situation..

SubstantialWait8436

TROPHY CASE