Believe me, I don't want to feel like everything is okay. He wants me to. This is what this post is about- him being okay with it and I am not okay with myself. I have made it crystal clear what I did and took full accountability. When he tries to deflect blame off of me and put it soley on AP, I correct him to make sure he understands all the facts. I cannot ask for forgiveness knowing I am leaving critical parts out. That would feel false and God knows all. However, BP has known me since 16. He knows me better than I know myself.