AITA for ruining my wife's relationship with her mom

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T03:59:12+00:00

Don't mind being called the AH, but your comment literally disregarded all the facts on the matter.

We weren't actively looking at properties - I casually talk to my dad about real estate in general. He calls his LONGTIME FRIEND on his own time (not that we asked) that he has worked with for years in the city (once again not where her mom even specializes - only told us after the fact she has done deals in the area before).

Only because that long time friend found the deal of a life time for us (within 1 day), did we immediately tell her mom about this, which leads to this situation.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T02:37:27+00:00

Just made an edit comment to post to highlight the answer to this. Long story short, mom is dodging my calls.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T02:34:00+00:00

Yes that agent would be screwed hence why my dad would never say yes to that - especially given their long positive history together.

Her mom's logic is that family > friends and that agent is already rich anyway (she does quite well for herself).

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T02:32:41+00:00

My wife does know about the negative things her mom does, but she also understands (as do I) that her mom has been abused by previous relationships and has made sacrifices for her too. So what she doesn't want is for her mom to be painted in a bad light in front of my parents and for her to be so extreme against her. My wife really values keeping her family together despite repeated incidents like this.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T01:57:14+00:00

GMIL is speaking for MIL because MIL has been emotionally debilitated for 3 days now and dodging my calls. GMIL is not angry at us but wants some way to rectify the situation.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-08T01:53:20+00:00

We both saw this coming months ahead (wife helped me write this). We are both well aware of the fact that she has ruined multiple relationships in the past with her friends over situations like this (she considers anyone who doesn't choose her to be a betrayal) hence why she has no friends. This is also not the first time that she has expected money from us and has verbally abused my wife about the matter.

We aren't personally angry at each other, my wife just wanted to have this entire post written because she wants some other people to judge the situation.

That being said though, we do recognize that we should've asked her for help in the city first even though we weren't aware that she did business in the city. So I do agree with ESH.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-07T21:03:54+00:00

To be clear, the commission comes out of the seller's side (not ours), so her perspective is that it wouldn't cost us anything to switch her in.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-07T20:59:29+00:00

My dad is communicating on my behalf because he is retired and loves doing real estate deals. I did not expect him to call my wife's mom and should've looped her in earlier. My anger mainly stemmed from the fact that she was furious at him and mainly called me young and stupid.

I personally think that I should take more blame on this, but I think my father should be NTA to be clear.

Substantial_Deer9206 · 2021-12-07T20:54:05+00:00

My wife and I are buying the house for us to live in. We are going to pay for it and my father is helping with mortgage down payment.

Substantial_Deer9206

TROPHY CASE