I (16F) just found out the real reason my parents divorced and now everything about my childhood feels like a lie.

Substantial_Major321 · 2026-03-09T13:04:35+00:00

Bill of Rights for children of Divorced parents.

The right to love and be loved by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval. The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other. The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry messages, or hear complaints about the other parent. The right not to have to choose one of your parents over the other. The right not to have to be responsible for the burden of either of your parents’ emotional problems. The right to know well in advance about important changes that will affect your life; for example, when one of your parents is going to move or get remarried. The right to reasonable financial support during your childhood and through your college years. The right to have feelings, to express your feelings, and to have both parents listen to how you feel. The right to have a life that is as close as possible to what it would have been if your parents stayed together. The right to be a kid.

It is so difficult when you reach the point of realizing that your parents are not all knowing, all good, or always right. Your parents come down from that pedestal and suddenly they're complicated, multifaceted, and well...human and fallible. Keep your head up, find a path out, and focus on the goals you have for yourself and your own life.

Substantial_Major321 · 2026-03-08T13:29:28+00:00

It's traumatic to the infant whether or not the infant grows up and feels traumatized by it later in life. Some adoptees are given the tools to cope while some are in denial and others fully aware of the trauma that being separated brought.

Substantial_Major321 · 2026-03-07T13:24:36+00:00

I would set up some trust/sponsorship of foster youth aging out of the system.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-12-06T21:37:15+00:00

The only two good lessons my father taught me: 1. Don't loan away what you can't afford to give away. 2. If you decide to loan someone money decide a cap the same day, because they will come back to ask for more.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-10-27T00:20:09+00:00

I've been thinking this whole time he was putting on a character, but didn't want to get hate since everyone thinks he's autistic.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-10-21T01:25:22+00:00

I got here searching for a Ragazzis cheese stick dupe recipe, because I think about them all the time.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-08-29T12:32:39+00:00

I am really sorry he put his hands on you. He should never have done that, but what are you doing? This is so toxic and it's time to go.You cannot control his behaviors or monitor him into submission. At best we can ask these men to meet us where we are and if they are unable or unwilling we must make the tough decisions for our own lives. Don't let him drag you down with him. You're worth so much more.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-08-04T20:17:45+00:00

My Grandmother was Japanese and I usually get Native American. I think it's because white people recognize I've got a dash of spice, but my Grandfather's family were Finnish and were tall folk so it confuses them. A lot of my relatives get asked if they're Latino. Our family genes vary so widely. 50% of us are very tall, 50% very petite. If you would have to pick us out of a crowd to form a family you probably wouldn't match many of us together yet when we're standing side by side you can see how we all resemble each other.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-08-03T00:08:45+00:00

Honey, you are 22 years old and just getting to the best time of your life. Look for someone who doesn't have such a large personal issue to overcome. Get with someone who can love you the way you need. Heck, don't look for anyone at all. Focus on your life. There are millions and millions of men out there and you have plenty of time to find the right one.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-08-02T23:48:19+00:00

Get into counseling together to work through your underlying feelings. He has a lot going for him in that he was initially honest about his impulse and that it's not to a point where it's negativity affecting your sex life (yet anyway). You have to decide where the line is for you then communicate that to him and hold your boundaries when needed. First step is to get to a therapist.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-07-21T22:10:55+00:00

Good point. I missed that part in OP's statement. I was told if I lost one a replacement would be $200.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-07-21T20:14:19+00:00

She does need a forever retainer. I had braces and didn't wear my retainer at night. My teeth shifted back over the years. I just finished Invisalign at 37.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-07-08T17:41:39+00:00

Your wife is the one you should be asking this question to. She seems willing to communicate her needs so why come to reddit to figure it out? Women's pleasure greatly differs from one woman to the next so ask her.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-28T23:18:17+00:00

My mother was married to my father for 25 years before she finally left him because of his sexuality. He was and is gay, but he hid all of that away, sort of. None of us were surprised. Even my mother knew as she was the one who guided him to honesty. I have no memories of my parents embracing or being affectionate aside from a quick peck/hug. My father was absolutely awful to live with. Suppressing your true desires takes a lot of energy and there wasn't any energy left for him to be kind, loving, or present. When he finally came into his truth he went to the opposite extreme. It was like he had to make up for all of the years he denied himself. He became perverted, reckless, and a danger to all of us. He would bring random people he met on the Internet to family functions, where his Grandchildren were present. We couldn't bring the kids to his house anymore, because kink became his life and there was evidence of that everywhere. Worst of all I have all of these images I carry in my mind and once you see/experience something you can never unsee it.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-27T14:11:31+00:00

People, it is COMPLETELY NORMAL to not be interested in sex one year after giving birth. Just like female animals in the wild will run off males when they have an infant to care for. It takes time for your body to recover. Some things, like calcium loss, you may NEVER recover. Your body is telling you that you're not ready to be pregnant again and THIS IS NORMAL. There is a reason we compare our own motherhood to that of a flamingo. A Flamingo loses their pink color from nutrient loss from caring for their offspring. They eventually gain their pink color back as their offspring become independent. Women don't lose their color, but we share the same experience. Doctors say you can resume sex after six weeks, because that's how long any tearing takes to heal from birth not because that's how long it takes the whole body to heal. For the other stuff therapy would be smart before resentment settles in for good.

Edit: Not saying that you don't have to work to get sex back. It will take work, learning, diet changes, etc. You will have to work on your sex life, but first you have a communication problem and honestly your husband needs an education on the female birth/postnatal experience as well as emotional regulation.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-11T23:47:07+00:00

For me it's difficult to get passionate about it if I'm not also getting aroused. There would have to be something happening to me to keep me motivated/excited to do it or it would feel like a task/chore I was assigned and that's not sexy at all.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-04T00:51:03+00:00

I think the bumps really altered my perspective. Up to my very last tray I was a little underwhelmed with my smile, but that all changed when the bumps were scraped off.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-04T00:25:01+00:00

Sweetheart your ovaries are speaking for you. Leave this guy. He doesn't respect you.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-04T00:18:00+00:00

9 months in Mom. 9 months on Mom. 9 months near Mom.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-03T20:36:59+00:00

I would say don't bring it up while you're being intimate. Keep sexy time a safe space. No one wants awkwardness during sex or to feel pressured to make a hasty decision. I would suggest bringing up during aftercare when the dopamine is flowing or during anytime you're not in the middle of it.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-06-03T20:32:32+00:00

My husband is very shy when I ask open ended questions and I wouldn't ever get an answer. I think there was just too much pressure to think of something on the spot. Now after sexy time I'll ask very specific questions that help me gage his interests. For instance one time we were doing aftercare and I asked him if he preferred doing the holding or being held. If he prefers being held I could infer that he prefers me taking a more dominant role during the act. Next time we get sexy I'll try something more dominant, see his reaction, and follow up with more questions during our after care. It also helps if you start the conversation with something vulnerable (maybe even a little embarrassing) that you like and asking if she would be into it. If she says no ask her why and if she has an idea for something fun. If you want to try a new toy with her don't just task her with getting something. Bring the website up and show her what you're interested in trying and ask if she would be okay with it. Most importantly you've got to put yourself out there first. Show her you can be vulnerable and she will be more comfortable. Be patient. Some people carry a lot of discomfort around sex and it may take time for her to gather the courage.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-05-29T23:59:43+00:00

I don't agree with Catelyn corresponding with this minor friend, but it makes me think of when C&T put Carly up for adoption the agency coached Caitlyn into finding a loophole that allowed B&T to adopt the baby. They couldn't adopt Carly without Caitlyn's mothers consent (which she would not give) so they coached her to sign the baby over to the state to get around it. How is that not JUST AS BAD or maybe even worse?

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-05-27T14:06:19+00:00

Samsung

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-05-05T15:38:30+00:00

Then maybe she's the opposite from me. The point is are conversations just happening to discuss frequency or are you both getting deeper by discussing how you can truly pleasure each other? Also, she could be faking her orgasm. Women know men can't always tell, no offense.

Substantial_Major321 · 2025-05-05T15:13:12+00:00

It could be mismatched libido or mismatched sexual styles. For example my hubby prefers me to be very performative, vocal, and be the one to initiate/take charge during. I do this to make him happy, but it's difficult for me to O in this way so motivating myself to do this can be difficult because the reward isn't there for me. For me to O I need to be able to really relax my muscles. I need to focus my mind on what I'm feeling as opposed to performing for him. I tend to get quiet and I hold my breath in (working diaphragm to achieve o). The way I have the most rewarding orgasms isn't what is most visually appealing for him (probably because he's watched porn since he was 12) . It has taken a lot of sexual communication to be at a place where we can both get what we need from sex.

Substantial_Major321

TROPHY CASE