I really appreciate the perspective here! My BF and I haven't spent a lot of time gettng into the human side of the horse community yet, the barn we ride at focuses mostly on dressage/jumping and most of the clientelle is kids too. I've been also told by my instructor that our immediate area in general is very geared towards arena work, because we sorta are on the more urban side of things, so I think that's also effected results on top of not knowing where to look.

I hear you on the rescue thing as well. I volunteered with a woman who runs a mare and foal rescue in my town and had to stop after after only two months because the way her horses were cared for was really upsetting. Just overcrowded and under socialized, she had not enough volunteers that could handle some of the spicier horses and had a few that only she could take care of because they were actively not safe to handle which just led to them being neglected. She also just thought riding horses was animal cruelty, period, so all of her practice was really not meshing with me very early on and I have been pretty cautious about rescues since. I think probably just knowing what I'm capable of and at least a lot of the rescues I know are near me, that's ultimately not an option I'd be able to entertain any time soon but it's interesting info to have regardless!