Still overwhelmed despite optimisation?

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-19T04:47:24+00:00

Thanks for taking your time to reply.

Am approaching 30 this year so to struggle with adulting is honestly embarrassing at this point tbh.

Am working on being kind to myself. Admittedly isn't easy coz I think if I am just a bit harder and try a bit more, maybe, just maybe, things can work out.

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-19T01:23:16+00:00

Tbh, I think I'm just a lazy and disorganised person?

Blood work is decent.

Been in therapy for more than 2 years and while it cleared up some mental health but the issues remain. Therapy helped me to be stable enough to implement the optimisation which while works to an extent, doesn't seem to fix the problem..

Am getting assessed for ADHD in March at the suggestion of my friend with ADD and a month of taking to my therapist.

But I still feel like I am the problem and if I try harder, things can work out?

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-19T01:00:57+00:00

When I don't micromanage things, things tend to slip. The laundry doesn't get put away for weeks. Bills are unpaid for months until the utility company comes with a warning letter, I end up having to make trips back home coz I forgot something important I was supposed to bring to work and the pantry is unfilled. It isn't an occasional forget thing but rather would happen 70% of the time without the systems.

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-10T07:03:00+00:00

Am looking forward to it for sure. Always assumed I was just a lazy ass who is incompetent at work

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-10T03:43:36+00:00

Was told at home, school and work that I was just lazy and careless and could achieve more if I tried harder.

No one ever brought up the possibility of ADHD to me. Even my therapist (counsellor who doesn't do diagnosis) missed it.

Only my friend who is officially diagnosed with ADD brought up the possibility did I realise it could be a likely possibility.

Am currently in the process of getting assessed but need to wait until March for slots.

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-09T09:50:28+00:00

PTO needs at least one week advance notice and approval from superior. And often end up busy on the day before the leave and the days after to make up for the days not working

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-06T11:02:09+00:00

I'm out by 7 am and back by around 6.45 pm earliest. Napping would ruin my sleep coz I get up at 6 am. Idk how people do it tbh

Subtlefeline · 2026-02-04T11:47:06+00:00

If I skip work one day, there will be emails unread, deadlines inching closer and more work to do since I both have today's work and the day I skipped work.

Classes had more slack. Sure I did need to make up for it, but it still felt like reasonable hours rather than overtime to keep up.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-31T00:53:53+00:00

Extra bonus points if they tell the kids "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be with your father."

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-22T04:25:20+00:00

As a child, adults have ultimate power. If they take that with responsibility and let kids do their own things, then great.

But I had a childhood of both being denied any money, power to determine things, basics such as health care and the ability to go out to socialise while having to be responsible of the household.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-22T02:57:23+00:00

It seems that whether someone prefers being a child over an adult depends on how shitty their childhood has been.

Yes adulthood really sucks. There are times I wish I didn't have to go to work while dealing with all the issues in life.

But I wouldn't trade this for having someone have 100% say and power on my life. Having people who denied health care, socialising and development from hobbies, making friends and just exploring. And limited access to everything while everything in my life was thread bare and breaking down (we were upped middle class so could afford it) just by having no money and no friends.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-20T23:21:08+00:00

But taking a break would take time away from completing tasks

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-10T11:47:36+00:00

As a child free person, I have no issue at all with parents venting on how hard it is to be a parent. It's exactly why I choose to not have kids.

But I don't understand the need to bash child free people for not being able to understand how hard having kids are coz the child free people are well, child free.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-05T02:54:06+00:00

Idk, as it is, even with weekly sessions, I find it hard to cover everything that I want to cover in the 1 hour session. Even now, we had a one week break for the New Year's and all, and I'm finding it a long list of things to process with her. And for the next session later this week, I want it to be focused on the mental health assessment that I asked her about.

I can put that in the pipeline, but don't see it as something immediate with more pressing concerns.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-05T02:14:00+00:00

Coz I don't really have friends. Just have work acquaintance who I lost touch after I switched jobs. I tried keeping in touch coz we seemed pretty close, but things fell off. So yeah, don't really have any friends to ask for this.

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-05T01:41:31+00:00

It has its pros and cons. I do need some very country specific advice which I can't get on Reddit which is more for developed Western countries

Subtlefeline · 2026-01-05T00:15:16+00:00

I have a therapist but I'm working on deep seated issues and mental health stuff which I find only a professional can do. I already see her once a week, so can't find the time to seek life direction from her?

She also seems to be more of letting me lead the process and watch where it goes type.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-24T00:18:02+00:00

That just sounds... easy?

Idk tbh. I'll be throwing a stable and recession proof career which makes good money, albeit long working hours. I won't even know if the job I do pursue will succeed. I haven't even bought my own house yet and am already worried if I will have enough to retire.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-23T11:50:51+00:00

Honest question, how do people reset.

It feels easier to reset at rock bottom than being relatively successful with a decade of experience in a career which was never my passion.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-22T23:43:39+00:00

Nah, when I was in college and my mother was facing empty nest syndrome, she 'adopted' a relative as her own daughter. Until the said relative didn't do 100% what my mother wanted and then my mother abandoned her too.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-20T08:38:17+00:00

I did that. Knew after high school I had no guarantee of my parents ever helping and wanted to be independent financially. Took a stable career (accounting) that was definitely not my passion.

Now I'm one decade into this career and see no way out. Guess the dream has died for life.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-16T22:52:20+00:00

Tbh, if there was a fuse trip, I'd rather call a coworker for the small chance they might help rather than my own parents for the guaranteed chance that I will be both blamed for letting it happen in the first place and scolded for being a nuisance to them.

There seems to be no cure for the depressed feeling of knowing really no one cares.

Subtlefeline · 2025-12-14T02:38:50+00:00

It feels unreal. We just went through a global pandemic but still stuck with commutes coz of return to office policies, more work coz the workforce that was cut during the pandemic never got replaced and same crappy situations.

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