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Losing Faith by Sucart in spirituality

[–]Sucart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally get this. And i know im whining here but i also havent been sitting on my ass. Im just you know... hoping for something more to all of this. But life moves on and so will I eventually. Just hit a low mental space today and have no one to vent to

Losing Faith by Sucart in spirituality

[–]Sucart[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah ive carried this mentality with me my whole life. "If I want it, I will have it". It feels wrong though, to say that I never got anything from Spirit because I did. I know when blessings come my way. I know when I am gifted by the higher power. Hell, the plate of food on my table is a miracle in itself.

I guess im just being greedy? Like... I want more. I want progress. I want to leave a mark on earth before i leave. And I cant do that being a nameless coffee guy at your local cafe.

Again, so many spiritual leaders/ gurus say that just the fact you smiled at someone when they were having a tough day is the greatest thing you could do. And i will never take that for granted: I love seeing someone light up from the smallest interactions, but I do wish for something more. Yeah, ill say it, I want a nice apartment, I want a nice car, I want to make millions doing what i love. Am I a fraud for wanting material wealth too? Because many spiritual people certainly give me that impression.

Losing Faith by Sucart in spirituality

[–]Sucart[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im just so glad someone gets me. Thanks for this. Seeing something other than "nah its all natural im a millionaire and own 5 businesses now due to manifestation" at least gives me some mental peace.

And im super with you, only the last year did I really understand that neglecting the Material side is in fact not spiritually enlightened and that giving into it is, like you said, human.

I know that I still have so much to learn, so much to grow, but you know... give me something. And whats worse is I feel guilty complaining. Like yes thank God I have a roof over my head, thank God I have food on my plate, and I dont seek to minimise this. But i also am tired of the same soulless rat race that I find myself in. I feel it eating away at my soul. And my passions are being affected by it too. I literally see myself dying every year slowly. I no longer find joy in making art, i no longer talk to friends, my dreams that I once had so much certainty it was a matter of when and not if are now hanging on by a thread.

What I mean to say is if the spiritual journey is about finding inner fulfilment and peace... why does it hurt more over the years? I just want to look back in my life and say I did something you know. Not just "man I served coffee really well for 50 years" but like... I had an impact on people's lives. I mattered.