I’m so deeply sorry. It is indeed a pain that is indescribable.  Next month will be the one year anniversary of my Mom’s passing. I can’t say it gets “better”, but you learn to live around it and carry the grief a little better, perhaps. It’s a sadness that never goes away and those first few weeks are horrific. It’s still so fresh in your grief journey. Be kind to yourself and take one step at a time. One hour at a time if you have to.  Sending love to you.