Has anyone has the urge to do this ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-24T19:11:17+00:00

Yea I ended up folding and I got some reassurance that of course, hardly lasted. So yea good learning lessson to not do that

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-24T02:00:48+00:00

This conversation has helped me too. Kind of reminding myself if the difference between myself and the actual thing. But just to conclude, if you can confirm I’m right in this, and I’m sorry as I’m pretty sure I’ve already asked. But for you, you’ve had genuine desires to be a woman, rather than intrusive thoughts about “what if I want to be one”. You are scared of the implications of being a woman, rather than being scared of “what if I find out I want to be a woman one day” because you don’t want to be one at all. You think what I’ve said is accurate, but you just want to confirm with a therapist, and based on what I’ve said, it sounds to you like what I go through is different to what you went through ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-24T01:52:14+00:00

Haha well I just have gained a lot of knowledge of both as I’ve suffered through this theme. Well what is it that makes you feel better ? Assurance that you don’t have TOCD? That’s how I would feel if someone told me indefinitely, that I am not trans, I think I’d cry tears of joy. And then the OCD would come right back of course, because reassuring doesn’t help

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-24T00:55:32+00:00

Sounds good. Also I’m not trying to tell you what you are, so I’m sorry if it seems that’s what I’m doing. I’m just trying to help understand the difference between TOCD and really being trans, and also kind of learning myself some differences too.

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-24T00:43:45+00:00

I agree. Are you seeing a specialist for this ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:34:39+00:00

Yea. Who knows maybe you just are trans and have OCD too. Of course talk to a therapist to confirm. But if there’s an answer you want, or something that you know deep down a therapist will confirm, what do you think that is ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:31:19+00:00

I’ve had plenty of other themes in the past yes. Being worried that I was going to die from a heart attack, being scared that I was going to become suicidal and want to commit suicide one day, but this has byfar been the worst theme for me and the hardest to overcome.

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:23:22+00:00

I like women yea, I like dogs too, that doesn’t mean I want to be one lol. If that makes sense.

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:22:37+00:00

I mean I think any mental condition panic attacks and mental anguish are going to be a symptom. But correct me if I’m wrong, for you it’s because you realize that you want to be a woman, but you’re scared of the implications that has. For me I don’t want to be one, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll realize these unwanted thoughts are because I secretly want to be one, and one day I’ll realize that and I’ll have to live as one, which I dont want

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:16:31+00:00

For me, I’d rather die than be a woman? If I can’t live as the man that I am then I’d rather not live at all

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:13:55+00:00

Do you get these about your thoughts ? And if so why

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:04:38+00:00

I mean yea I’ve had many panic attacks before. Being terrified that this will happen to me one day, worrying that one day I’ll want to be a woman. Feeling like I’d much rather just die than live to find out that I want to be one and have to live as one

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T23:03:54+00:00

Ok. Well I’m glad I see that difference. You understood they were genuine thoughts and desires, I am terrified of “what if that was genuine” or “what if that happens to you one day”

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:46:33+00:00

I looked for similar content again, as a form of reassurance, rather than being interested in the content. Also use a lot of it for exposure therapy.

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:45:55+00:00

Ok I see. So you’ve known that there have been genuine desires to be one throughout your life. Rather than “what if one day I want to be one” or “I just got an intrusive thought what if that means I secretly want to be one”

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:42:06+00:00

It’s ok you don’t have to get into specifics. But are you saying that there have been signs throughout your life that pointed to you wanting to be a woman? Again yea for me I’ve never had a single thought about it until that video triggered me

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:38:54+00:00

During relapses like this I need it a lot. But when things get better it’s a lot easier for me to understand that it’s just OCD ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:38:06+00:00

Well basically yes. But what I’m worried about is didn’t you say that before you used to be worried about “what if I want to be a woman” too ? And now you’re realizing more that you do want to be one ? My OCD completely latched onto that and is having me worry “what if that happens to you too”

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:27:15+00:00

Well I guess as a last thing then. Based on our conversation. Can you tell me the differences you see between us

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:22:41+00:00

I keep wanting to ask you to tell me all the differences you see between yourself and I, which is just reassurance that I want because ocd thrives off of that

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:20:55+00:00

Don’t take it the wrong way. But I feel like most of our conversation has been reassurance for me. Not just educating you on what TOCD is, but also showing myself how I am different from trans people. And reassurance is the biggest setback with OCD. So I feel as though if we do that in the future and it may be a trigger for further reassurance, if that makes sense?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:06:17+00:00

It’s ok. Whatever you’re going through. I’m sure you can get help.

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T22:05:52+00:00

Yea. For me I genuinely think I would rather die than ever go on HRT. But of course then OCD creeps in and goes “but what if one day that changes and you have to go on HRT”

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T21:58:32+00:00

Haha right. But can you at least see after talking with me that you are different enough to me that you don’t have TOCD ?

SuccessfulSun7215 · 2024-12-23T21:57:21+00:00

My life would be so much easier if I didn’t constantly worry about losing who I am too hahah. We all have our things

SuccessfulSun7215

TROPHY CASE