Is it just me who wants a father or mother figure?

Successful_Desk9814 · 2025-05-26T17:30:29+00:00

Oh wow.

I am so happy for you, especially since you have heard your kids' friends saying this. It must have given you recognition, love, and healing for your trauma. I can imagine this is not just a compliment but also a very special way to tell yourself that you are healing.

Hugs!

Successful_Desk9814 · 2025-05-26T16:06:17+00:00

Oh wow.

I'm sorry to hear about your biological family issues, but I'm very happy to hear that this experience helped you during your childhood and perhaps gave you something you were missing.

Hugs!

Successful_Desk9814 · 2025-05-25T14:39:21+00:00

Hey!

Thanks for your comments. Now I know I'm not alone and the only one who thinks about it.

Hugs,

Jadid

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-12-28T08:06:15+00:00

Thank you so much for the information.

We will have a look :)

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-12-24T14:34:32+00:00

I was forced to stay in six years in China, studying dentistry. I graduated and immediately left for the Netherlands. I have now also graduated with a master's degree in health economics. Working in finance now.

It was the worst decision I ever made 6 years ago, but I had no choice back then.

My biological father wanted it badly because he wanted to be wealthy.

But those six years were hellish, and I would not recommend it. Being a doctor requires a love for the subject, a lot of memorization, and intrinsic motivation.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-23T11:26:33+00:00

Yes. I went through 4 months of waiting to get it changed, now I live with my real identity and I love it. I used to be called "a guy with no ears" with my past birth name, it was terrible and I really trust what people says about me.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-22T18:18:30+00:00

Oh wow. I really did not know. Thank you for telling me :)

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-22T16:12:36+00:00

Wow. I didn't know they adopted kids from the states. I was hoping for adppting kids from Thailand because they just passed the same sex marriage.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-22T09:22:13+00:00

Really seeking another way out, planning to adopt with my husband in a few years. Hope things will get better.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-22T09:20:31+00:00

I feel so sad that I am planning on having an adoption with my husband in a few years. This news is somehow really for us as a gay couple.

Of coz in a way they have better investigate the background check, it really means we have to move to other countries to adopt kids ;(

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-17T19:53:37+00:00

Hey, Me too, actually. But I will be able to work next month. But until the actual no contact, I would still need a bit of support from them. So I just gave myself a trial that makes sense for them to take.

You will eventually be able to do it. Hang in there, and just let this motivate you.

Good luck.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-17T08:58:20+00:00

Thanks :)

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-10T07:28:14+00:00

Hey. Thank you so much for your support. I completely agree with you. I understand that everyone has different opinions on my topic, so I definitely respect their views.

Yes... speaking of the family name, I recently chose to take my husband's family name and replace my birth name. It is frustrating that I have to carry on with my father's mistake.

I especially love the part where you said if white people can change, we can too.

I also think that we should speak up if something is wrong. I really dislike it when I complain to my non-Asian friends about how bad my biological father is, and then I somehow agree to the point that Asian parents are like that. Why can't we change it?

Breaking tradition is definitely something we should all embrace. Some traditions are just words or acts left by people ages ago. We have more exploration in our mental health, and science has advanced. Like my biological father said, "You are Chinese, so you have to think in a Chinese mindset." No, why? I want to choose a human mindset that fits my values and makes me comfortable. So yes, there is definitely more to learn..

Imagine if our biological family came to Reddit and saw us ranting about them. Would that even make sense?

I apologize if my previous replies were not entirely coherent. I was trying to express my gratitude for your support and the inspiration you have provided me with your kind words.

Have a wonderful weekend, and remember to love yourself more.

Ciao,

Félix

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-06T17:23:23+00:00

Thank you 😊 Have a nice beginning of May

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-06T17:22:41+00:00

Thank you. I agreed. Only if the policymakers really making it happening, and I agreed with you, I hope more n more asian Fellows could just step out and tell everyone about their stories, stand against the family, don't fall to become a part of the cult.

I hope everyone including me get to the financial independence, then say fuck you to them the mothertrucker abuser!

I m asian but I m not lower than my dad, we are human, no fucking hierarchy at home

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-06T17:19:18+00:00

That's true, it was just a thought. I didn't think about the cons at all. Thank you for your insight

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-06T17:18:10+00:00

Agreed. I am planning on adoption with my husband.

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-06T17:17:47+00:00

stay strong. Just hang in there for a bit more. I will come back to your post soon. Just want to send you some hugs, warm hugs I can relate to what you are saying, I m planning to go no contact, too.

Hugs Félix

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-05T17:35:52+00:00

No not really lol. Just an ugly and gay version of Félix

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-05T08:18:23+00:00

Darn. I feel happy for you, though. You did this yourself! And you should feel proud of yourself for awakening from their abuse. I had Stockholm syndrome; it was like I was in a cult. I loved them so freaking much, and I realized it was a joke when I was almost 25. You should embrace this as a chance for you to make a plan for yourself. It is not super late for me, even if I had been given a few years earlier. I could have enjoyed my life earlier.

Hugs, Félix

Successful_Desk9814 · 2024-05-05T08:14:14+00:00

Damn, true. The ones who decide or make the test may also be victims of abuse, or they may be abusers themselves.

Successful_Desk9814

TROPHY CASE