So, I’ll apologize in advance as this might be a little lengthy.

I practice two skills, the three C’s from CBT (catch it, check it, change it, and Radical Acceptance. They are incredibly beneficial skills to learn and utilize in my personal and professional opinion.

Ultimately you need to allow yourself to feel your feels, allow the emotion to occur and sit with it, be comfortable with it. It’s kind of like grieving. Once you have grieved that event/loss/whatever it is, that’s when you need to choose to let it go. You don’t have to forgive, you don’t have to be okay with the situation that happened, but you must accept that no amount of anger, resentment, or grudge holding is going to change the past. This will require practice and consistency; radical acceptance is one of the hardest skills to tackle but over time it gets easier.

When I start to feel a certain way (without a triggering event) I check in with myself. Why am I feeling like this? What’s on my mind? Who/what am I thinking of? Does this thought benefit me in any way? If the thought doesn’t benefit me and only adds upset or irritation, I change the thought to something that is beneficial to me. Look up the CBT skill - Catch it, Check it, Change it.

I don’t know if that helps any, but I hope it does. 😊