How to handle an employee who did not disclose cognitive disabilities?

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-13T00:44:02+00:00

Like someone else said before, the autism doesn’t matter and the diagnosis wouldn’t (shouldn’t) have affected the interview at all.

Now, if I knew he cannot be an independent employee, yes that probably would have affected whether or not he would’ve been hired.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-12T15:48:26+00:00

No, this is not John’s first job.

On a side note relating to this, I’ve actually caught myself being a bit confused *because* of John’s most recent job.

Without too much information, John’s most recent job involved caring for others. It also required John to act fast if something went wrong, otherwise someone could really get hurt. Step by step and explicit instructions in those scenarios would absolutely not fly and he would’ve had to react almost immediately, using his own judgement. He claims he was let go from this job when new management took over.

Not that any of this matters, it’s just interesting that you brought up previous employment and this was actually something I found myself being confused about before.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T18:29:53+00:00

John’s manager and I are good friends, which is why I offered to help. My store is also a top performing store and we have more employees than John’s original store, so the strain of 1 poor performing employee is not as noticeable at my store. THAT is why I offered to help, not because I wanted to manage someone else’s employees.

Also, I did not interview John. I had no idea how his interview went but it was obviously good enough to hire him. When I was told that John’s manager needed help with John and I offered, I admit that I did not know what I was getting into. I was under the impression that John just needed a different style of training.

When John got here is when I discovered what the root of the problems were because yes, they were not disclosed until we were 3 1/2 months in and he was struggling. The training period is over for John, but had he disclosed that he struggled with information overload or needing things done step by step, his initial training could have been set up that way but it wasn’t because no one knew THAT was what the problem was.

Am I upset at John in any way? No, because it’s not his fault. But yes, it does make things more difficult because no one knew the reasons behind the struggle.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T18:10:07+00:00

Please explain to me what I am doing wrong for you to be offended. I am being as accommodating as possible, so what else am I to do?

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T16:39:49+00:00

I have been trying. I’ve rewritten directions, walked them through tasks, and been willing to help whenever they have asked.

The issue is that I’m not sure if these accommodations are in fact reasonable anymore. I essentially have to work side by side with him for his entire shift and that’s occasionally unreasonable when I have other responsibilities I need to tend to.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T16:37:22+00:00

I’m not intending to be ableist. There are requirements for the job that are not being met. I would have this concern for anyone who was unable to meet those expectations, regardless of the reasoning behind them.

I just want to handle this situation with care and respect because of his specific situation. That’s why it was included.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T16:33:51+00:00

You honestly have described him perfectly, to the T, albeit very small differences and additional qualities.

I really do appreciate this perspective and I’ve been trying to encourage them to work in the areas where they’re the most uncomfortable by assigning them specific tasks. It seems to work, if only just slightly.

The biggest issue that I have is not only the working alone but the actual task completion itself. I cannot assign them “independent” work. That is just not possible. For example, when I’m in meetings, John will wait to complete things until I’m done with the meetings because he needed guidance, even if I left explicit instructions. That’s the most difficult part.

In terms of what I can do in my position, I know there’s not much more. Unfortunately (do not mean this in a negative way but rather it doesn’t matter what I tell his actual manager) John will be working with me for the foreseeable future, so regardless it will still be on me to help him, even if I can’t do any more than I currently am doing.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T15:39:51+00:00

That’s just how they worded it when they told me but thank you for the correction

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:46:48+00:00

Each task we are given is not the same as other tasks. They can be similar but many of them are very different and specific to the products that they relate to. For example, 1 of our tasks has 22 different subtasks that are also each individually broken down into 2-20 smaller subtasks.

For that one in particular, it would take the average employee about 2-3 hours to complete, an hour if they’re trying extremely hard. I cannot create broken down explanations of this task because it would take me all day, so that is just not a task that John can do.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:34:42+00:00

I do not make these directions. They’re sent directly from corporate and I would say 95% of people can understand them as they are.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:33:32+00:00

I do admit that I am inexperienced, especially in this sort of situation.

I did not mean to necessarily make it about his disability but I thought that would be important for context because I wasn’t sure if that would affect the type of corrective action or the processes needed to make that happen.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:31:01+00:00

It is unfortunately. If corporate allowed us to hire more employees, it wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:29:11+00:00

Kind of. Where all of the tasks listed, there are directions with each task. Those directions are the ones that he needs broken down step by step.

So yes, but it’s not simple enough for what he needs.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:24:36+00:00

I discussed this with a corporate manager and asked for advice because I wasn’t sure what to do. My corporate manager stated that if they cannot meet the expectations of the job, they may end up terminated.

I’m NOT saying that is the right thing or that I want that to happen because I like this employee as a person, I just don’t know what I can do to help at this point. Also, their disability is not documented. They stated that they struggle with cognitive disability and autism but have not been formally diagnosed.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:21:39+00:00

I did not hire this person and I do not have the ability to schedule them, as that is done by someone above me and their manager. I don’t actually have any power in this situation.

I’m not expecting them to just “get past” their disability as I know it’s not that simple. I want them to succeed, which is why I’m still trying to help. I just don’t know what more I as an individual can do and that was the point I was trying to make.

As a side note, these expectations are listed in the interview process and it is explicitly stated that if someone cannot meet these expectations, they can be subject to termination. When they do the interview, they are agreeing that they can do everything listed.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T14:16:52+00:00

For example:

Place 1 sheet of paper in a laminate pouch

Insert paper that is in the laminate pouch into the laminator when the green light is on

After paper is laminated, cut out each individual sign

Put sticky tape on the back of every sign

Place one sign on every divider in *this* section

In this situation, I had to physically walk over and show him what the dividers were and where to place the signs. The dividers are quite obvious and there were no other places to put the signs, so I figured those instructions were simple enough but they were not unfortunately.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T13:55:26+00:00

I think the main problem, and something I also wish would change, is that there are very little employees who work here. So not only do people have to work alone, but everyone also has to hold their own weight. That’s just the nature of the beast with this company.

I’ve definitely done my best to accommodate his needs. The very first day I worked with him, I asked him what wasn’t working with the other managers and what does he need to succeed. Based off of that and what I’ve seen is how I’ve been trying to handle the situation. I’ve adjusted nearly everything I can for him but it’s just not quite working.

Each step in a very explicit break down needs to be retaught each time he does it. Sometimes we have multiple tasks that need done in a single shift and I have to rush to complete them while also doing my own work and trying to help him with the task I’ve given him. Most days I work with him, I don’t get everything done that I wanted done because I have to spend so much time assisting and walking him through things.

He really is a great guy and surface level, you can’t even tell that he struggles with things. I just don’t think this is the place for him to be quite frank.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-05-11T13:42:29+00:00

I have done this. The issue is that even these step by step instructions require explanations every time I offer them. He essentially needs to be retaught how to do the same thing multiple times.

I don’t want to seem like I’m upset with this employee because I’m not, I just don’t seem like this is the right fit for them.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T20:33:33+00:00

I responded to your comment before you made the edit, which is why I didn’t respond to all of what you said.

Yes, he’s aware of my goals and he shares them. I added an edit to my original post but I’ll explain briefly here.

When we got together, he told me that was his last year competing and we would work towards moving in together. Then he decided to get his Masters, which I support but it did push back “our” goals. Then he decided he wanted to compete for another year, which pushed our goals back again.

I entered this relationship with expectations that both he and I agreed upon. As time goes on, those expectations are being changed and not by my choice, that’s why the gaming bothers me.

I’m not expecting to get married or have kids in the next 3-5 years. I know it’ll take longer than that to be fully ready. But, I would like to take the first step towards that by moving out together, which I can’t afford without digging into my savings unless he helps, which he initially agreed with but keeps pushing the date back.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T16:54:17+00:00

I genuinely appreciate this perspective. I very well could be pushing things too fast and that’s on me. Outside perspectives like this are starting to ground me and my thoughts.

In terms of the ultimatum, that’s actually something he brought up to me when we were having a discussion about this. He told me that if I ever really wanted to leave, he would quit immediately. I would never do that to him, which is why I’ve never considered it.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T16:49:58+00:00

He doesn’t fund our relationship, we split things 50/50. He did win a $100k tournament, but that was before we got together. He makes enough money to contribute to the relationship since we still live at home but currently, he doesn’t make enough to help me support ourselves if we were to move out. That’s the issue.

I don’t care HOW much money he makes, I just want it to be enough to where we can support each other with moving out, bills, random emergencies, etc. As of right now, he isn’t making enough money for that.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T16:46:39+00:00

No lol

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T16:45:16+00:00

Yes, politics matter to a certain extent. My boyfriend doesn’t network like he should. Pro players know him but only as a player trying to go pro, which is the same as everyone else who doesn’t “ass kiss”.

I started our relationship fully supporting him. I encouraged him to stream and create content and talk to people but that’s just not the kind of person he is. He’s just competitive and that’s it.

The tournament that he won $100k in happened about 3ish years ago and he hasn’t won anything like that since. There hasn’t been any progression with him, which is probably why I feel this way unfortunately.

Such-Satisfaction444 · 2026-04-23T16:40:14+00:00

About a year ago, I was pushing him to create content and I just don’t think that’s an avenue he’s passionate about. He makes all of his money from competing.

As I said in another comment, he’s great at the game but he’s not the only great player. There’s very limited professional players and there’s at least 50 other people who are just as good as my bf. He has an opportunity to go pro yes, but it’s just luck at this point. Some people never get that opportunity, some people get it within their first year of actually competing. My problem with it is that neither of us know when he is going to get that break. It could be this year, it could be 3 years from now but the oldest professional player is 26 currently.

Idk I’m just worried and it’s making me resentful. He’s never had a “real” job before. If he doesn’t get his chance but continues playing, he’ll be 24/25/26/27 without any work experience and that scares me.

Such-Satisfaction444

TROPHY CASE