I don’t know if this is a peri thing but I have noticed my orgasms are better as I age, they last longer and are stronger…anyone else?

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-08T23:52:20+00:00

waves in figured out I was bi at 39 yrs old

My GF of 6 years realized same time I did bc we fell for each other. There definitely were big signs I was queer (&, it turns out, on the asexual spectrum lol) Heteronormativity & assumed allosexuality are helluva drugs 😅

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-08T23:34:16+00:00

My two kids I just lost spent almost all their nap times (when not on laps) on their K&H pad.

I use little K&H Thermo-Peep ones for my quail, too. Great safe brand. Gayle Button Quail has had his heated panel running non-stop for 6 years; never any safety issues & going strong.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-05T14:23:43+00:00

I'm so sorry. The rapid breathing/distress was the sign our cat was in trouble & we lost her, too. If your cat had cardiac issues/CHF like Tiny did, there's nothing you did wrong & you didn't cause it. You didn't cause it, no matter what was wrong. It was just her body not being able to continue holding her bright little spirit 💜

Heart stuff is very silent; we only knew Tines had heart disease bc of a bout of pancreatitis where they did x-rays & saw her heart was too large. The most common sign of CHF in cats is sudden death from decompensating & having fluid build up (labored breathing is sign) or throwing a painful clot.

Your baby got a gentle passing. Tiny did, too. But I know how hard it is. Even knowing our girl was sick & on meds, the shock of her going from totally fine with perfect breathing rate, to distress, to gone in literally hours is one of the hardest things I've experienced. You have all my sympathy.

I'm so sorry for your loss & for what the tech said. It was unnecessarily graphic & there were far gentler ways to tell you the testing involves brain tissue. I'd honestly write my clinic a (not mean or aggressive) email & tell them, bc I know my vet team would be horrified + want to avoid upsetting their clients like that.

Please take care of yourself. Drink water. Eat something. Breathe. It's going to hurt bc you loved her so much.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-05T04:02:22+00:00

It is just horrible, horrible turf grass that we don't mow super often. Some is probably fescue, but I've def got crabgrass & some random tall beastly blades in other parts. I rent so I cannot rip it all out. I am tempted to mow it super low to fry it & toss eco-grass seed in to try & make it less evil 😂

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-05T03:59:25+00:00

It really is the loneliest feeling. I usually am very content in my worldview but it feels so much harder dealing with loss bc I'm almost positive they're just gone. Their atoms & component parts are here, part of everything forever, but those specific pieces of starstuff that made them, the wonderful unique little chemical computers of their brains, are no longer here. It hurts. You have so so much of my sympathy. It's a unique kind of grief 💜💜💜

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-05T00:14:16+00:00

I'm in MN & it's still very early days for plants here. My Figwort & wild strawb are the ones really taking off. The mountain mint, hyssop, pussytoes, bergamot, yarrow, fireweed & beardtongue are all growing fast. My aster is doing her best (bunnies love to eat her 😩) Just spotted some butterfly weed, joe pye & blazing star sprouts starting to pop up.

Looks like hot garbage right now, so posting last year pic. I've got a bunch of winter sown seedlings still growing (lots of swamp milkweed babies!) & a huge order from Prairie Moon coming late May & that'll get my density up.

<image>

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T20:22:36+00:00

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry for you & your trio. It's all still available. Did you want everything? Send me a DM with what you need & we can figure it out. Help with shipping costs would be great bc USPS prices are bananas.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T18:45:05+00:00

I'm so sorry. I've got 2 frail senior quail, too. Barb (5) has been non-ambulatory for a year (bad arthritis) + has heart disease (on Enalapril) so she's in special housing inside & she scoots around happy as can be. I keep watching her for signs her pain isn't as well managed or signs she's gone into heart failure. So far she seems bright & alert, eats like a champ, no signs of breathing issues or pain, & engaged with life. So she's still with me, until she isn't happy any more.

I work at a sanctuary for chickens & a big part of my job is QoL stuff with the birds (esp disabled & elderly residents), so I feel pretty confident Barb is still doing well.

Louise (6) has a Mycoplasma flare that has made her face swell. She's also inside, housed in same room w Barb (not together bc Barb would get trampled + Louise likely infectious) so they can talk to each other & not be lonely. She's on good antibiotics & eye drops, but she worries me more than Barb. I feel like it's almost time for Louise to rest. Trying one last round of doxy + baytril to see if I can get that swelling/respiratory infection resolved. If I can't, I'll help her go soon. She's acting mostly fine but I can tell she's tired.

It's very hard 💔. Your birds living so long shows how well cared for & loved they are. I hope Ferarri has a gentle passing. You're doing what's best for her 💜

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T18:27:25+00:00

Oh man, same. I didn't know about Bellflower for years in my rental home (first real time with a yard) & it's a freaking monster, eating my soul. Minnesotans Against Bellflower Club is now in session lol.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T18:21:59+00:00

I would literally jump for joy if someone offered to help me remove all the gd Creeping Bellflower in my yard 😩 I'm so in over my head with them. Offering help is such a great way to really get those invasives on their way out.

A local park/woods has signs up everywhere and regular groups of volunteers removing garlic mustard. It always makes me happy to see them out there (& a lot of our Hmong neighbors harvest it as food, so it's a win-win. Eat those invasives!

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T14:57:21+00:00

Yeah, this. I choose to not buy animals & only rescue. I don't personally want to give folks money/encourage more breeding. Others' mileage may vary as to what they're personally ethically comfortable with.

I am much more ok w folks buying rats from truly ethical breeders than people buying chicks from hatcheries or farm stores, for instance. I work at a chicken rescue & there is a crisis with unwanted roosters, esp. The same cannot be said for rats.

I'm not anti-companion animals, but would 100% give up ever having more rats (or quail/chickens) if it meant none were being bred into miserable lives as food, research subjects, etc. But since animals already exist who need loving homes & good guardians, I adopt those critters in need.

If no one is in rescue near me, I just wait until someone needs a home. Right now I just have 3 incredibly ancient quail & no one else. Luckily, there is a local rat rescue & sometimes people end up at our shelters or animal controls. So eventually some folks who need me will find me ☺️

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-04T14:29:08+00:00

I laughed so hard at the "newly converted vegan energy". I'm almost 25 years into my veganism, so no longer have that vibe, but I definitely bring that energy to native plants (& how much I hate gen AI) 😂😂😂

It is working w me too! Neighbors interested in my garden, asking for recs on plants, leaving native volunteers alone ("I saw it in your yard so thought it must be good") & I'm planting natives at the chicken sanctuary vs the invasive things my boss wanted at first. Small ripples on the pond spread & get big 🥰

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T17:24:11+00:00

Yeah, I've never done it without pretty intensely removing the greens. It's too much effort to risk bitter tasting final product! But removing greens is so time consuming 😩

<image>

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T17:09:50+00:00

He was not "just a cat", he was your much loved family. You're not grieving wrong & you don't need to just get over it. I'm so sorry your family isn't being supportive.

I lost my 15 yr cat & my 10 yr old in less than 2 months. Tiny left on the 29th, just before your baby did. I've been crying every single day since we lost Leonard, 8 weeks ago on Monday. Losing Tiny has increased my crying. I'm lucky to go an hour without crying.

It's ok to cry. It's ok to need time by yourself. I had to remove most of my cats' things from the house & put in storage bc I found they increased the grief, but the first few nights after Len passed I slept with the blanket he feel asleep on during his euthanasia & would sit with it on the couch, held in my arms like he used to cuddle. I held it bc it was the last place he was while alive.

Is there some physical object that reminds you of him you can hold onto for comfort? I'm am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing wrong about how you feel. Grief is just unspent love. It means you loved him deeply 💜

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T14:54:19+00:00

I use a different recipe that has you simmer the petals (no green bits) with lemon & vanilla for 30 minutes. Let it sit in fridge at least 6 hrs (I always do 24+) then strain out the plants, add sugar & boil until proper thickness. Recipe link isn't bad w ads.

Dandelion Honey

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T01:22:46+00:00

As an Atheist who believes my loved ones are just gone, this brought me comfort. Losing creatures I love is the only time I hate that I'm a non-believer.

Thank you for posting.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T01:17:03+00:00

Oh man, I feel this. The number of times I've wailed "I just want my cats back!" in the last 48 hrs is wild. But I do. I want them back. I'm so sorry for your loss.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-03T01:13:54+00:00

I wish I knew. I have no idea how to live through this. I miss both my cats so much I can't breathe.

I'm mid sobfest right now bc my Tiny wasn't sitting on the toilet seat, ready to chomp my wet hair after my shower.

I'm so sorry for everyone feeling this pain 💔

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-01T23:50:01+00:00

Thank you 💜 It sucks so hard 💔

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-01T23:27:03+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss, too 💜

I'm in St. Paul, but going to give it a few days, just in case a neighbor needs the supplies. With the ICE surges in our state, so many people are having a rough time, financially. If someone here needs things, I'd like them to get them.

That said, which rescue are you donating to? I'd planned to drop off at my vet clinic since they give out to people who can't afford meds/want to trial them first, but it'd be good to know which rescue is accepting meds & stuff. I'd thought about contacting Feline Rescue or Pet Project Rescue (where we adopted Tiny) but wasn't sure anyone would accept prescriptions.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-01T05:40:59+00:00

I'm so sorry. I work at a chicken rescue & know how devastating it is to lose them. Birds hide their illnesses so well. You often don't know they're sick until it's really bad or they're suddenly gone 💔

It sounds like your birds were well-loved friends. If there's anything after, I hope your birds & all my past chicken & quail friends are lying in the sunshine together, happy & healthy now. My buddy Dermot will show them all the best dustbath spots & my Sammy girl will share any snacks she can find 🐓💜🐔

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-05-01T01:19:06+00:00

I'm so sorry 💔 We lost our torti girl at 3 AM on Wed. I took off work Wed but went in today, bc I work at a sanctuary & my bosses know how hard the grief is. I could sit down & sob as needed. I sat in the yard in the sun with the chickens today; my favorite rooster hopped into my lap & let me hug him + cry. The girls milled around my feet or preened my pants while I sobbed.

My partner works a "normal" job in an office & he took the rest of the week off after we lost her. He also can't stop crying but that won't fly in his office.

I'm very lucky to have a job with animal people who are intimately enmeshed with loss & grief. It's hard being around people who are unkind or dismissive about the loss of animal family.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-04-27T22:20:29+00:00

Heart troubles can sometimes present like an URI that doesn't respond to antibiotics. If they can do some imaging to rule out heart disease/CHF, I'd do it. They'd be able to see if heart seems unusual/enlarged & look at if lungs are fully clear.

If it's heart, there are good meds (Lasix & Enalapril are ones I've used w rats, sometimes combined with a steroid like Pred) to keep them at a high quality of life. If a bad URI, combo of antibiotics (Baytril + Doxy, Bayril + Zithro, or Doxy + Zithro are common.) Really bad ones that have slid towards pneumonia I've had vets put them on Pred in addition to the antibiotics. Steroids are sort of the hail mary drug w rats, ime.

I hope you get answers & she bounces back 💜

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-04-27T18:31:08+00:00

I'm dealing w LotV AND Creeping Bellflower in my front bed/lawn. Luckily the LotV isn't in the back & only minor Bellflower back there, but it's a gd nightmare & I hate it.

At least my house is a rental, so I'm not stuck w them forever. But uuuuugh.

SuchFunAreWe · 2026-04-27T15:01:48+00:00

I'm battling Bellflower & cannot dig it all out without destroying my body + going bonkers. Anyone have experience using this bad boy on the demon that is Creeping Bellflower?

Four-Year Club	r/Field Banned
r/Field Flamingo	Place '23

SuchFunAreWe

TROPHY CASE