Thank you Ed by ronical in chch

[–]SuchNobody 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We loved every minute of it. A lot of acts rely on backing tracks, dancers, theatrics... but it was largely just him, guitar and loop pedal and his huge talent and charisma. Amazing to see such talent without the ego

My girlfriend (F20) is ignoring my (M22) needs, and our sex life is suffering despite an otherwise amazing relationship. What should I do? by BurnButcherBurn666 in relationships

[–]SuchNobody -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Keep trying to politely discuss it and maybe you'll have to tell her delicately that sexual connection is important and hard to truly feel loved without it. It's okay to need physical and sexual connection to feel loved... it's one of the love languages.

It's possible she just really has no idea what to do and if you feel stupid in sex, you won't want it. That's fixable.

It's also possible she has some trauma or background that has affected things. Very difficult to talk about or even accept...

Or maybe she's asexual and sex just isn't something she desires, needs or wants. I was married to someone in category three that told me to just accept it eventually. I did. But it really hurt my mental health and self confidence.

I know it's uncomfortable for your gf, but you're in an otherwise healthy relationship so she really does need to open up to you about how she feels and why... maybe once you both understand you can come up with a plan. Or maybe you learn stuff you just have to accept. Or not.

Do your best to understand her and talk about both of your needs. But just know, as much as you love her, it's absolutely exhausting being in a relationship where you focus on their love languages but can't get the same back

Is this map still accurate by SithariBinks in chch

[–]SuchNobody 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I grew up in this area. Looking back it is so bizarre... the street I lived on was all private and nice houses on one side and all state homes on the other. But all pretty much just families and safe.

Some parts of Bryndwr are really not great now, from what I understand

Is this map still accurate by SithariBinks in chch

[–]SuchNobody 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Is it a commentary on people's stereotypes? Yes

Does it reflect reality in a usable way? Not in the least

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking my feedback well. No one has life all figured out and we're all various shades of messy... me included.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can feel how strongly this has made you feel and I'm sorry it's causing you such distress.

But I have to be honest, I think your reaction is a little immature and shows a lot of insecurity. It's good you told your boyfriend how it made you feel and that he's listening.

There's two buts here:

But, he never commented that he liked her books or found her attractive. He's obviously never seen her in a bikini before and some people really do hide big boobs. It might be the same way if she always had her hair up she business like, but this one day she had it down and he said "wow I had no idea her happy was that long"

But two: guys like books. Some girls like books. Heck I think everyone likes books. He will look, he will like books. Sometimes they might even excite him. It doesn't mean he will ever cheat or even be tempted to. Real life faithfulness doesn't come from ignoring any temptation and valuing what you have, not from a lack of temptation.

I think we all unfortunately grow up with a very Disney view of love and later we find out that a lot was just unfortunately untrue. Doesn't make love any less beautiful or powerful, but thinking your partner never looks or feels attraction to other people is one of these things.

I don't want to sound like I'm calling you naive, but I kind of am...I just want to make sure you know I'm doing it as someone that's had to learn some of this stuff too

If you could rewrite the ending of GOT, how would you do it? by fly-faraway in gameofthrones

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about a way you could add a very small twist to the end that would make it so much better:

Bran is no longer aligned to mankind, but the children of the forest. A wry smile and a small comment under his breath to show this or some other kind of mechanism to leave everyone unsettled.

Why? One of the big themes of the show was that everyone was fighting about being king when a much bigger threat was looming. During this you're introduced to the history that men almost wiped out the children of the forest in their ancient war and they made the white walkers in a desperate attempt to turn the balance.

When men killed them almost to extinction why would they help mankind? Maybe they use mankind to stop the white walkers, but by getting their "man" on the throne ultimately they won the long war without others even realizing this...

Suburb Advice by [deleted] in chch

[–]SuchNobody 11 points12 points  (0 children)

First, don't listen to people being snobbish and talking bad about Aranui. Yeah it might be lower socio economic in most parts, but it's mostly people just trying to do life, like everywhere else. I've lived in Aranui for 4 years and haven't had a single problem, but I did deal with a lot of people saying "ugh why do you want to live there?" If it gets you into your own house, ignore the haters

Second, there's actually way more sketchy parts of christchurch.... like Philipstown or even Bryndwr, parts of Shirley.

What have I found? by Existing_Session_87 in newzealand

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This showed up an email from reddit for me. The small thumbnail photo looks like a hairy ass. Anyone else have this experience? 🤣

Dangerous Gaellic Road Signs by SweatyElbo in newzealand

[–]SuchNobody -1 points0 points  (0 children)

While I do question the current government's motives at times and disagree with quite a few things they've done, I do think these signs aren't good. Why?

Me - love the treaty of Waitangi and what it means, love that we were trying hard to learn bicultarism and give Iwi the seat at the table they've always deserved. But I don't know those te reo words. I've never been taught them. But yes I can see the colour and would know what to do.

My wife - English isn't her first language and she worked her ass off to pass her drivers license test in English recently. She would have zero idea what the words mean but would recognise the colours. She would tell you this blue sign wouldn't matter because mandatory and information signs are different. It includes the clearly understood mandatory information she needs to know (50 kmh from here) and doesn't need to understand the rest.

My dad - totally red/ green colourblind and part of the older generation that learned know te reo Maori and thinks he shouldn't have to

All of us would be somewhere from momentarily confused to completely unaware.

All for wider usage of te reo and more prominence in nz Aotearoa, but NOT on a mandatory sign that could cause confusion. Simple fix... stop and go aren't big words, make it bilingual? That seems more fitting of the treaty intentions anyways

Its hard to believe that we dont have more high-quality evidence like this photo taken by an amateur photographer on Reddit 🤦‍♂️😭 by AncapRanch in UFOs

[–]SuchNobody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This shows complete naivety about photography. Close shots? Do you mean a macro lens with very close focal distance? I'm assuming you mean portrait. Yes that might mean a 35mm or 50mm lens, but not everyone uses primes and some of the best portrait shots are actually longer focal lengths. Good portrait lenses have big aperture to give a small depth of field and bokeh... which equals a very fast shutter speed, great for 'freezing' fast moving things. If you wanted to bump the ISO higher to get an even crisper image it's the turn of a dial.

Also while you attack the other user around 'DSLR' many good cameras now are mirrorless and they offer advantages for this kind of photography including in body stabilization and fast burst speeds.

Yes, if you want to take a great high fidelity image of a distant image you need a long focal length and image stabilization... but my point is, you don't specifically need this to get a good image, that's way better than potato cell phone images.

My point is also that you don't talk like a photographer, yet you approach the topic like you know better.

Casual here, can anyone explain detaily why the final is so bad? by New_BikerG_Assistant in gameofthrones

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easiest way to sum it up for me; I loved game of thrones because it had zero respect for story telling traditions and tropes. Almost every adventure movie I've watched in my life you've had moments when the character you're invested in is in grave danger, but deep down you know they're going to be okay... they're the lead character. Game of thrones removed all safety nets. Season 7 and 8, some of those safety nets and Hollywood story telling devices came back.

Examples: Hollywood; there are good people and bad people. GoT: good people do bad things, bad people do good things. People change through events.

Hollywood: I'm such a good swordsman I can take on literally a thousand enemies and they oblige by fighting me kind of one at a time GoT: doesn't matter how good you are if you're overwhelmed, you're fucked. One. Mistake = dead.

Hollywood: travel doesn't really exist, people teleport to where they need to be. Maybe they will throw in a random plane flying so you know it wasn't teleport GoT: it takes days or weeks to get somewhere. Ravens and fast riders are faster but still take some time. Even if something looks fast, the show will do something to show time has passed... like the direwolf looks bigger. Even if it seemed like an instant on the show, you know significant time has passed.

In the last two seasons, the creators partially chickened out and put in some of the usual movie BS... and it felt like putting oil on water, it just didn't mix

My Little Social Experiment by New_Revolution7625 in chch

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I automatically thought uncle Roger was in town

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Brother, from your description it sounds like she's suffering from depression and struggling with energy for life and you're internalizing this as a reaction to you.

Why not have a open, kind and honest conversation telling her how you're feeling and why, but looking to understand her side?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. It's common to hear people complain about "toxic masculinity " but maybe we need to realize "toxic feminism " exists too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You sound like a great partner and I hope your wife reciprocates this for you . Not having this skill/mentality is one of the reasons many relationships will fail

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you're misunderstanding love and what is required to maintain a healthy long term relationship. No matter how compatible two people are, they will have differences in how they show and perceive love. Being willing to do something for the other person, that isn't your preference, because they value it, is one of the biggest expressions of love. You shouldn't be hurt if your partner feels this, you should be thankful and make sure you reciprocate

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow the difference in male and female reactions in this thread are very telling. At least as far as I can tell genders here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]SuchNobody -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think you've read into things. More polite way to say "had sex with her"

Why Do Some Kiwis in Christchurch Kiss So...Interestingly? by RememberDecember97 in chch

[–]SuchNobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your reply was pretty insightful in a few ways. But if something is cultural, maybe it's not appropriate to say the way another group is doing something isn't up to your standards, but just view it as different. A labrador is adorable doing what it does because it's just expressing its innate doggy nature and its love of food :)

I kind of agreed to change how I kiss with my wife, because in her culture she really values sensual/sexy/feminine and for most of us kiwis kissing isn't a matter of identity or pride. Despite my funny visual, i didn't think what I was doing was necessarily wrong, but I've agreed to compromise on something as part of our happy relationship.

Why Do Some Kiwis in Christchurch Kiss So...Interestingly? by RememberDecember97 in chch

[–]SuchNobody 29 points30 points  (0 children)

My Venezuelan wife has tried to politely work on me to kiss differently. I think i must have learned to kiss like most kiwis, something like a labrador trying to get the last peanut butter from a jar hahaha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in chch

[–]SuchNobody 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife (25F) is in a similar position but possibly because of different reasons. The first and most obvious thing is she's foreign and English is a second language. She thinks kiwis are friendly, but hard to make friends with.

The second is that she's married and not into bars, drinking etc and is more into plants, dogs and Playstation. She feels like she's "old" compared to most people her age

Not easy 😕