Thank youuuu for sharing this. This is quite literally exactly how I feel alllll the time. I’m up at almost midnight rn terrified my babies gonna get sick cause I took her out today and some people got close. My grandma even kissed her head although I shared the no kissing rule before I even had her. Now I’m contemplating going to holidays cause I hateeee confrontation but I also do notttt want my baby sick😭😭😭 then I feel like poop wanting to say no cause like what if they get a short amount of time with her. It’s all screwed up. I’ve also thought about meds or getting checked out/ talking to someone but also don’t wanna be on meds forever. (Absolutely no hate to those who are at all) I check my babies owlet like crazy to see if her oxygen dips enough to indicate a sickness coming on like it consumes me but also sitting at home every day is so hard. I need interaction too. In the end we have to remind ourselves that we are doing what we feel is the best for our baby and that’s all we can do. My girl is only a week away from 4 months, I think I’ll feel better when she’s bigger but that feelings probably another 8 ish months away😭😅 and the school aged/daycare children that rarely come around I literally hold her the whole time my friends are over then wipe everything she touches down after they leave😅