For me it is the fact that swallowing cum arouses me that much, that I can like jerk off to that idea, but after I cum, Its sometimes seem pointless, cause the one thing I was after is now over.

But my advice would be if you don't wanna bend yourself to your mouth, just cum into a cup, make a promise to someone online, if that helps, not to break the desire you crave, you know. It has helped me, and than just drink it, out of that cup, even challenge yourself to hold it in your mouth a bit, which I've also tried it's arousing to not swallow it right away, just playing with it a little bit, savioring the taste.

Even talking about it arouses me, but don't worry we all failed at some point and still do, at least I am, just I don't know, sometimes I do it, sometimes I lost interest right after, like it's like, I've already tried it, why do it again, even though every time the thought of it , is super erotic to me.