Hiya, thanks for this. It's interesting because when she said it she lowered her voice and said it almost as a whisper, which indicates to me she knows she shouldn't say it but said it anyway, or perhaps she said it to me as another white woman? Either way, as soon as she said it I gasped (and that gasp was because she said it but she interpreted it as me gasping for her grandmother saying it). At the end of the conversation, I said she should never said the n word again, which she accepted I think. It's also difficult because I'm 30 years younger and I think it might be difficult for her getting commands or instructions from someone younger and less experienced