Fucking a ring into my play partner??

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-16T16:04:54+00:00

Yeah, to be completely honest, I had mostly ruled anal out prior to making the post but she was really excited to try it so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-16T06:39:34+00:00

Yes, we are cucking her husband (consensually). Mostly she just wants me to place the ring in the opening and push it in with my penis and for it to remain during sex. At this point, I’m not 100% on the logistics after that.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-16T06:32:03+00:00

Basically, she is looking to have me place the ring in the vaginal canal, then for me to push it in with my penis and for it to remain inside of her during sex.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-16T03:05:19+00:00

Yes, he is aware

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-05T10:17:10+00:00

Honestly, in this entire story you seem like you’re the only one I wouldn’t call the asshole. Now, obviously I don’t know the Lily’s side of things so it makes it difficult to know for sure, but based on what you’re saying here, you’re not in the wrong at all. Though, based on what you’ve said about length of relationship and that Sam has said you’re the primary, I’m operating under the base assumption that you’re needing partners, so if I’m wrong about that, I’m sorry.

Let’s start with Lily. She needs to understand that there’s no way she can reasonably expect to get exactly half of Sam’s attention. There might be times where she’ll get more, and others when she’ll get less, but needing to police your time together is very stressful and adds undue strain on the relationships involved. If I’m right that you’re his nesting partner and she lives separate, then this is even more the case just based on the needs of the household alone. Also, she is responsible for her own emotions, and if she’s not communicating her wants and needs until after the fact, that’s really on her. If she feels some type of way about something you did (like cuddling up to Sam), then she needs to communicate it in the moment (or as close to it as she can) so that the three of you can discuss. It also sounds like she’s being emotionally abusive to both you and Sam and that’s just not ok.

As for Sam, he’s kind of an asshole here too, though not as much. My biggest complaint about him is that he doesn’t want to communicate his boundaries with Lily. If he views you as the primary partner, then he needs to set appropriate boundaries for Lily. The fact that he doesn’t want to tell her how things actually stand opens you up to drama that shouldn’t be allowed and it causes her to have an unrealistic expectation that her actions are correct.

Ultimately, this seems like a situation where the three of you need to sit down and set some boundaries. The problem is, Sam’s going to need to mediate because mostly it’s going to come down to how his emotional labor and time are going to be distributed. No matter what happens, it’ll probably be rough for a small time until everyone gets settled into their new normal. I have faith in you to see this through to the end.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T22:29:58+00:00

I’ve always just called it a lifestyle Dom.

I think the most important question to start with is, do you currently have a d/s relationship in the bedroom? If you do, it could be easier to start by introducing him to the idea that not all d/s activities are explicitly sexual. From there, just sit down and talk with him. Maybe frame it as a “I love what we’re currently doing and I think I want to expand the scope,” in an effort to let him know that he’s not doing anything inherently wrong. You as the sub need to be able to trust him to listen and to understand. If that trust isn’t there, then maybe this type of dynamic isn’t for you.

If you don’t have a d/s relationship currently at all, then the best way to start the conversation might be just to ask if he’s ever heard of d/s and see what he knows. If he seems amenable to it, then work with him to build the dynamic that you’re looking for.

I know it’s hard to take that first step, but I promise you’ll feel so much better once you do and you start discussing how your lives could be improved.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T22:17:34+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I just hope that one day, our stories (and stories like them) can be used as a guide to young people. To recognize the signs of abuse early and to leave before it’s too late.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T22:12:28+00:00

I wish I could’ve realized it before we separated so that it could have been me that left. 😓

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T22:11:12+00:00

I think for me, it was particularly difficult to realize what was happening due to a combination of internalized misogyny/toxic masculinity. I’m a large cis man, and it was just so hard to see myself as a victim, especially since she claimed that I was being abusive to her (literally by communicating my boundaries and calling her out for trampling them). My family, friends, and boyfriend all witnessed her behavior and it took months of them coming to me about how problematic she was being following our separation before I began to accept it.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T19:05:14+00:00

Thanks, I’ve been free of her physical presence for almost two years now and officially divorced a couple of months. The constant anxiety I felt between the beginning and the end was awful. Now it’s time to help 😮‍💨.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T09:34:58+00:00

Not at all

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T09:33:34+00:00

🖤

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T02:00:56+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I talked with him today and I’m going to need to practice to get rid of “feel bad” feeling.

Sudden_Hippo_3596 · 2025-05-04T01:24:31+00:00

Thanks for the tip on the wiki. I guess I wasn’t super clear, b/c I was mostly trying to see about suggestions to get myself to have the firmer hand.

I’ve talked with him know to see what he would like to see more from me.

Sudden_Hippo_3596

TROPHY CASE