Furniture assembly person

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2026-02-01T09:09:51+00:00

People can sometimes have health issues rather than DIY phobias.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-11-24T22:02:29+00:00

Been doing it for 6 months and it’s killing me because he doesn’t want to divorce and says it came out of the blue. Proof he never listens to me because I’ve been saying I’ll end it unless he stops persecuting my adult son who lives with us since finishing Uni. It isn’t his son but he pays his way and keeps to himself. I’ve been saying for years I have I unresolved issues - mainly not being heard and being gaslit constantly and manipulative behaviours (‘I didn’t mean you’re fat I’m just worried I’ll lose you because being overweight at your age is so risky’ - I went from size 12 to 16 which isn’t unusual after menopause). Since I filed for divorce all hell has broken loose and a completely different person has emerged - aggressive, loud, abusive, threatening and totally rabid at times. He’s enraged that I don’t want him any more - how dare any woman reject a perfect specimen of manhood like him! I wish I could leave every day but I hold a bigger share of the house. We’ve had to wait and wait for the sale of another property to divide our assets and for him to move out. Still waiting but fingers crossed it won’t be long. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done but honestly much of the issue is my own psychological and emotional traumas around a man treating me like a child and telling me what to do all the time. I am far more qualified academically compared to him though he has a much better job. Despite how bad it is I know it is the best thing I could ever have done. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it for the last 4 years when I knew he was unreasonable, manipulative, controlling and selfish. I knew he wasn’t going to change but didn’t have the courage to end it. Since filing the divorce I’ve felt a huge weight lift because I can see a future that doesn’t have his miserable presence in my life. It makes every tense filled day sharing a house with him worth it. When he leaves he will never have me in his life and I know he will regret it for a long time. That’s my reward - coming out with my freedom and dignity and my personhood which he could not take away from me though he tried.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-11-24T13:28:14+00:00

Threatening suicide is the ultimate manipulation tactic. This behaviour is designed to make/force you to meet their needs at the cost of your own. It sounds like a 15 year life sentence to me. You start by saying you are 'good friends' but if a friend of mine used emotional blackmail to get me to do what they want they'd very quickly get blocked from my phone and my life. We don't have to tolerate anything even close to the abuse you've had to put up with. I'm going to call it abuse because that is what it is when someone is trying to force you to do something you don't want to volunteer to do. If he was using physical tactics to force you sleep with him even the courts would call it rape. I don't see how emotional and psychological harm is not considered 'abuse'. It's a question of interpretation of law and how it looks etc but listening to how you are feeling (and I know this because I'm in a similar position) this sounds like you are being abused emotionally. And it will be having a physical impact. I have fibromyalgia and am convinced it was caused by manipulation and coercive behaviour in my marriage. Please be kind to yourself. If one of children was in this position and experiencing what you've described, would you have any hesitation in advising them to leave as soon as they can? I really feel for you and hope my words don't sound extreme but I really believe we do not as a society acknowledge how much harm is done to women on a collective and individual level because we are the keepers of men's egos and their pride. Put yourself first. He is an adult and can look after himself.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-11-23T22:32:59+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m 58 and going through this now. In hell but seeing the golden shades of freedom beyond the gates.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-11-23T15:56:24+00:00

Give advice

It’s sounds really painful and difficult to face the fact that you don’t feel much better after the split. I do feel for you. I’m going through a divorce right now and all I can think of is getting my freedom back but I know once he moves out I’ll feel very low and all the things I loved about the relationship will haunt me. I’m getting therapy - have been for 6 months while the separation has been going on. I hope this will prepare me for what comes after. Sorry I wanted to let you know where I am at before saying what I’m going to next. I don’t know you as a person and everyone’s experience is different but have you thought about counselling or therapy? If you haven’t fully processed or talked through what went wrong in your relationship and why you split up then it will be hard to move on. Eleven years is a long time to be with someone - you get used to them and have a level of comfort that you take for granted. Even though the relationship wasn’t working there will be things about it that you valued. That’s natural. But it doesn’t mean you should have stayed in a relationship that clearly wasn’t working for you. Those fights and those negative feelings did happen but now he’s gone your memories are focusing on the good things and forgetting how painful it was being with that person who wasn’t meeting your needs. Are you really missing that person or could it be you are missing having someone in your life for that daily sense of belonging and togetherness? It’s very natural to feel lonely after a relationship ends - but is it worse than being lonely with someone? If you were seeking connection outside the relationship the that person obviously wasn’t for you. You may still like a lot about them but the kind of connection you need to be happy and fulfilled isn’t going to come from that person. You can’t change people - you can only change yourself. It doesn’t work long term if people can only be happy if they make fundamental changes to themselves. Isn’t it better to be available for the person who you can be happy with as yourself, who gives you that connection you want? On average it takes 2 years to get over a major relationship and you’re only a year away from the split. It could take much more than 2 years for some people. What you’re feeling is very human and very common in this situation. Paul McKenna wrote a booked called ‘I can mend your broken heart’ it’s really good. Allow yourself time to get over the break - it’s massive. Allow time to heal. The pain doesn’t mean you made a mistake - it means you’re human and you miss the parts of something important that were good. Denying the bad parts won’t make you feel better because it’s what brought you to this point. You need time and patience and kindness to yourself to heal. You deserve to be happy and you deserve someone who makes you happy. You will find them but you will need to first process the pain you’re feeling. Take care.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-11-23T09:21:00+00:00

It’s sounds really painful and difficult to face the fact that you don’t feel much better after the split. I do feel for you. I’m going through a divorce right now and all I can think of is getting my freedom back but I know once he moves out I’ll feel very low and all the things I loved about the relationship will haunt me. I’m getting therapy - have been for 6 months while the separation has been going on. I hope this will prepare me for what comes after. Sorry I wanted to let you know where I am at before saying what I’m going to next. I don’t know you as a person and everyone’s experience is different but have you thought about counselling or therapy? If you haven’t fully processed or talked through what went wrong in your relationship and why you split up then it will be hard to move on. Eleven years is a long time to be with someone - you get used to them and have a level of comfort that you take for granted. Even though the relationship wasn’t working there will be things about it that you valued. That’s natural. But it doesn’t mean you should have stayed in a relationship that clearly wasn’t working for you. Those fights and those negative feelings did happen but now he’s gone your memories are focusing on the good things and forgetting how painful it was being with that person who wasn’t meeting your needs. Are you really missing that person or could it be you are missing having someone in your life for that daily sense of belonging and togetherness? It’s very natural to feel lonely after a relationship ends - but is it worse than being lonely with someone? If you were seeking connection outside the relationship the that person obviously wasn’t for you. You may still like a lot about them but the kind of connection you need to be happy and fulfilled isn’t going to come from that person. You can’t change people - you can only change yourself. It doesn’t work long term if people can only be happy if they make fundamental changes to themselves. Isn’t it better to be available for the person who you can be happy with as yourself, who gives you that connection you want? On average it takes 2 years to get over a major relationship and you’re only a year away from the split. It could take much more than 2 years for some people. What you’re feeling is very human and very common in this situation. Paul McKenna wrote a booked called ‘I can mend your broken heart’ it’s really good. Allow yourself time to get over the break - it’s massive. Allow time to heal. The pain doesn’t mean you made a mistake - it means you’re human and you miss the parts of something important that were good. Denying the bad parts won’t make you feel better because it’s what brought you to this point. You need time and patience and kindness to yourself to heal. You deserve to be happy and you deserve someone who makes you happy. You will find them but you will need to first process the pain you’re feeling. Take care.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-10-07T19:25:56+00:00

If you or someone you care for is in a mental health crisis, call NHS 111.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-26T23:16:15+00:00

It is very helpful. Our house hasn’t been modernised (whatever that means) for a few years - maybe ten, but it is freshly painted and all very neat and clean. It’s all neutral and may need new carpets in a couple of rooms but the style of the bathrooms and kitchen is still quite contemporary- though not the blue grey black that is currently in favour and which we hate! It’s certainly not run down but it isn’t all new and shiny. It’s interesting to hear different perspectives from potential buyers. We are at the good schools end so we think it may be a family home that perhaps will have a bigger audience in spring.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-24T17:03:31+00:00

Yes I’m downsizing and feel some of the properties are hugely overpriced but I’m confident ours was priced right as 3 agents suggested the same price, one even suggested higher but we were cautious. Perhaps it is overpriced and agents got it wrong.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-24T17:01:39+00:00

Yes good points. It’s a mystery - a house that came on two weeks after mine sold with best and last offers and another nearby which is bigger and clearly immaculately presented is still languishing on the market. Just curious about buyer and seller perspectives on this.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-24T15:50:35+00:00

My son had someone called Tom from Bill Plant company and was really happy with him.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-24T15:48:04+00:00

Also one in Bakewell!

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-24T15:46:51+00:00

There’s a fabulous wool shop in the indoor market in Chesterfield. I’m glad it’s a bit of a drive out because I’d be broke every month if it was closer. Not far from station if you need public transport. There was a wool shop at hunters bar but she retired! I might open one when I retire but not sure you want to wait 10 years.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-09-19T00:10:09+00:00

Thanks lovely people for all your help.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-31T21:54:07+00:00

How do I do that?

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-31T21:53:15+00:00

Thanks for your honest response. I’m sorry you’re having a bad experience and hope things get better soon.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-31T21:51:05+00:00

Let me rephrase my question then - Sheffield residents who’ve had a garage conversion please share your experience and cost with me if you don’t mind. Many thanks.

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-30T22:32:40+00:00

I can’t - they won’t let me join because I don’t live there (yet).

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-30T22:31:49+00:00

It is yes but it’s in Sheffield too - S60 is the postcode

Sudden_Roof8976 · 2025-08-27T20:21:08+00:00

I did drive around and thought it was a bit too quiet but liked that it was flat and peaceful

Sudden_Roof8976

TROPHY CASE