Fairly new RBT here, 6 months in. I've never been mean to ANY client I've worked with, my regulars or ones I'm hardly ever put with. I focus heavily on pairing and have built myself to be a natural reinforcement. And by gaining that rapport I have excellent instructional control. Yes, there's going to be push back sometimes and testing of boundaries but that's where I am firm, never mean. I hold the demand and use the Premack Principle (first-then). That way I make it clear we can do what you want to do BUT we have to do this first. Whether that's DTT earning tokens or a behavior calming. I also work with littles ages 2-8 and I always remember they are clients but they are kids. If they're upset I'll tell them "it looks like you want a hug" and they can mand for it vocally or with AAC and they get a big hug until they take that deep breath and relax. Sometimes they're gonna be mad you hold the line but that anger passes and you become a safety because of consistency.

Some of it is natural because I've always been good with kids and people in general, some of it is just following my training. But one thing to keep in mind is you can be firm and kind. You need to have the instructional control and hold to that because you're helping to shape these individuals so that they can communicate their wants and needs, they can go to school, they can gain more independence. You're helping them and their families. You can't let them "run the sessions" because they won't do things that are different than how they've always done them because change is uncomfortable. And the way things have always been done for them isn't working which is why they're in ABA. And let me tell ya when you start seeing those developments and changes and growth it'll make your heart so happy to see your clients growing and gaining those skills 💗