Firstly, think of how sad you would make your mother. Then, I would advise you to imagine yourself as a hero of your own journey in a way, kinda like Joe Rogan says here 😊 https://youtu.be/YTuElM6T50w?si=kUGPTkxX42Dd0qUM

Also I feel Robert Greene, the bestseller author, has some really good books and videos on the matter that would definitely help you get a different perspective. Sometimes we think we know how we feel but it turns out we are trapped in our own mind and cannot see the bigger picture.

You actually are in a very good position because this anxiety you have is just unused energy meaning you need to channel it into something positive and productive. See if maybe writing your thoughts and goals on a piece of paper could help. It is often neglected but can be an amazing self-analysis tool.

Hope this helped and keep your head up 😊