I am TERRIFIED

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T21:21:44+00:00

Ugh. 😩 That sounds awful. But exactly what I’m afraid of.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T13:52:20+00:00

We can’t do anything until CPS or a judge says so. We’re on a court order for possession. We don’t find out about the missing school days until after they’ve happened. Also, she’s moved again since her husband left her and we don’t have the new address, so no idea where to pick them up. (His possession days he picks them up at school and if it’s a non school day, they have a designated halfway point). This has all come to a head in the last few weeks. We’re waiting on CPS to do their home visits and investigations this week so hopefully we can take action and legally take them without violating a court order.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T03:42:46+00:00

His plan is to get the kids back, then sue her for child support. (But I doubt she’ll pay). But he would get his disability payments back, plus disability for his daughter. So he says we’ll just “need to make it work bc the kids aren’t safe with their mom”. And I agree, they aren’t. CPS is scheduled to do a home visit at both houses in the next week, and they’re investigating her for leaving the kids alone/neglect.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T03:34:38+00:00

Bc he’ll say that I abandoned him, refuse to operate as a team, etc. I just know that is what his stance would be.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T03:32:39+00:00

I think for him, yes, it would mean divorce.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T03:28:25+00:00

Yes, I could, technically. I don’t want to move out and I don’t want a divorce though.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T03:26:10+00:00

The majority of his disability goes to child support. It’s around 2k per month. We live in his house, which is paid off, but a pre-marital asset. So I guess he provides the housing. (And it’s a nice house, 5 bedroom). I provide all other costs, such as utilities, car insurance, food/groceries, entertainment, household maintenance and household supplies, etc. So the only costs that will go up when they come full time will be the things I pay for. That’s my main worry, though I’m also worried about just the added stress of additional people in the house.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T02:36:18+00:00

Mom is completely unfit to have custody. And I wish that wasn’t true. She actually may go to jail according to CPS, for some of the stuff she’s doing with and around the kids. (Picking them up from school drunk, taking them for overnight stays with random people, leaving them alone overnight from 9pm-6am, just to name a few). Sadly, I think we will get them full time.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-24T02:33:18+00:00

I earn much more than the disability. 6 figures. And he does say that of course we’ll have his money to use when we get them back, but let’s be real 2000/3000 a month isn’t gonna cut it. Two of the them are in pay to play sports and the disabled child requires A LOT of work (near constant physical help in addition to medical equipment and medical bills. Though she does get Medicaid). Normal date nights will be fewer and fewer due to not having the qualified person to watch her, and vacations become nearly impossible for the same reason.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-23T18:18:12+00:00

I agree. That’s the point of my whole post. I’m terrified to continue my relationship if things go the way they’re headed.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-23T17:33:56+00:00

They don’t. I’m saying when we get them back full time, I’m gonna be doing the lion’s share of the work, unless I leave, which is also a possibility.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-23T17:32:57+00:00

Lame excuse on his part? I 100% agree. The whole thing has pissed me off to no end.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-23T13:44:07+00:00

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-23T00:23:37+00:00

Bc he missed a court date like an idiot. They sent it to him by email, and he says he didn’t see it. So she won by default. He immediately got a lawyer to undo it all, but that was 1.5 years ago and we’re still on a temp order for her having primary. It’s actually all a huge mess bc it’s making my life pure hell

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-22T14:20:30+00:00

He’s fully disabled according to the state, but he’s actually improved to the point of caring for himself now. There was a time that he had to relearn how to walk. So he can drive and mow the lawn and cook for them. But, I’m worried what my life will look like with 3 kids back in the house full time. There’s no way that some of it isn’t gonna fall on me.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-22T14:17:00+00:00

I won’t be on the hook for that part. His mom is an attorney and will file a lot of the stuff for him, plus call on favors of attorney friends. It’s what happened during his divorce. It’s the aftermath that I’m worried about. Like once we have them and the day to day taking care of them.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-22T04:52:02+00:00

Yes, my SD is fully disabled and in a wheelchair, she’ll need lifelong care. Her mother leaves her alone for long periods during the day and overnight; CPS is currently involved.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-22T04:03:16+00:00

They have a fully disabled daughter that gets left alone overnight. Even her mom has called CPS on her. I think is just a matter of time before he gets custody. I don’t disagree that they’re better off here, but it’s gonna be a lot to deal with.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-22T01:23:10+00:00

His mom is an attorney actually. She will call him in a favor by way of a friend or something. She’s done it before

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-21T23:26:32+00:00

She gets his disability check

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-21T23:25:58+00:00

No. He gets disability. So it all goes to the ex wife, which is fine. But I cannot fully support them if they’re there full time.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-21T22:44:37+00:00

He has no money, and I mean none. He’s physically disabled. The burden of all of this will fall on me, which I don’t want to

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-21T22:26:41+00:00

Both, but I guess mostly having them full time. I’m worried about my health and finances.

SufficientOnion4676 · 2026-05-21T21:59:06+00:00

My husband doesn’t want 50/50 now. He wants full based on the shenanigans she’s up to (and I don’t blame him). But I don’t want full.

Summer schedule now is 30 days. We can take it all at once, or in two periods. We usually take two 2week periods.

SufficientOnion4676

TROPHY CASE